I've lost a sense of purpose in my training. It's just been feeling so muddled. Like I'm just dabbling here and there and everywhere. No real direction. No real goal. What am I even doing?
I'm training. But not deliberately. I train for the sake of training. I'm not sure how much I'm really getting out of it. More than if I didn't train at all, I know that. So I keep going.
Where am I? What am I doing?....simple questions that I can't seem to answer. And the old answers don't seem to apply for some reason. They don't seem authentic.
Blah.
"Don't want to train?...train" popped into my head just now. So I stopped and did 10 pushups. I felt like 10 pushups would be better than more complaining. I had to laugh because it actually did make me feel a little bit better...albeit short lived. Maybe 10 more...but I can only do so many...lol.
It happens. Just got to ride it out and it eventually comes back into focus. Take care of you first and the rest will follow.
ReplyDeleteThank-you Nigel
DeleteIf you want some direction, a challenge perhaps? I want you to try to find your favourite/most fun thing to do out of the things you’ve been dabbling in most recently then find your overall most favourite technique to do, the thing that is the most fun in ALL the kung fu you’ve ever learned and then think of as many differences and similarities between them as you can (just a suggestion!)
ReplyDeleteWow. My brain really is broken. I'm having a hard time reigning my mind in for this.
DeleteI find doing a form to a song really motivates me. It can change up my phrasing as I move through the techniques.
ReplyDeleteIt definitely happens to all of us. the key is to not stop and you will get through it.
ReplyDelete