Friday, February 27, 2026

Kao Shi

Tomorrow morning will mark the first ever Kao Shi class.  I'm excited and curious to see how this will look.  I know from a distant vantage point that it will likely look pretty much the same.  

A group of like minded individuals pursuing mastery.

A set list of requirements intended to help get us there.

But I'm also excited for the different opportunities that a smaller group might allow.  I see alot of potential and I think there are many things we can do a little bit different as a smaller group.

I'll end this entry, and start my year, by publicy sharing with you my personal requirements.

  • Hand Form - Da Mu Hsing
  • Weapon Form - Stick (personal form)
  • Weapon fight choreography with Toudai Vogt.
  • Repetition log for all forms (mostly school forms but also a couple of mine that I find valuable.  Marked with asterisk).  The intent is to ensure everything is, at a bare minimum, being maintained.  Min 1 per week, each.
    • Lao Gar
    • 18 Temple Motions
    • Long
    • Hung
    • Stick
    • Broadsword
    • Butterfly Swords
    • Spear
    • Kwan Dao*
    • Dou Ti* (hand form)
    • Fan*
    • Awakening the Dragon
  • Once a month baking/cooking with Emma and Nathan.
  • Meditation - Min 5 times per week
  • Stretching - yoga body hip opening stretching.  Min 5 times per week

Friday, February 20, 2026

Back To Tai Chi

With the changes to class structure and times in the new Kao Shi Intensive program,  I am able to accommodate getting back to the Tai Chi class.  Wooooo!!!

This week was my first class back and I was a little worried that I had left too much fall off my radar.  I was still practicing, but not the full long form, and not with consistency.  Overall I was really pleased how it all came (mostly) back.  I had to clarify a couple things...mostly with my left hand....but if I'm honest,  that left is always a problem in my Tai Chi....just a limp, wet noodle at times.  ðŸ™„

I had to laugh when half way in I was starting to sweat.  I have obviously not been working all those tiny little muscles enough.  And I felt really good dedicating that nice long session to energy work and really feeling the movements.  By the end of class my hands were vibrating.  In a good way!

So much good comes from the mingling of Tai Chi and our core classes.  And I'm so excited to be back.

Sunday, February 8, 2026

"Basic" Slide-Stepping

Something I’ve been working on recently is maintaining my centre and staying grounded, specifically during transitions. The focus was initially within my forms, but thanks to Toudai Vogt, I eventually shifted my focus to slide-stepping.

At first, I didn’t think basic slide-stepping was something I needed to work on, because I didn’t believe I had any issues with it. Eventually, her persistence made me question whether I might be missing something—or at the very least, it inspired me to do some re-evaluating (which doesn’t hurt to do every now and again, even with the most “basic” things). And so I was pulled into this by Toudai Vogt, and I’m grateful for it.

Working on something as “simple” as slide-stepping in a bow stance has offered a lot of insight. During our training, I was challenged to focus on initiating the step with my back foot. Once I did that—and did it properly—I realized a whole bunch of things.

I’m first going to attempt to describe how I was slide-stepping versus the adjusted version. Bear with me, as feelings are very difficult to describe and convey in writing.

Previous method - My forward movement was being determined by my front leg. I’d describe it as having my front leg act as an anchor point while pulling everything forward (maybe even launching my weight forward as well), then stabilizing everything over that front leg, maintaining my centre there, and finally stepping forward.

Adjusted method - In this method, the movement is initiated by my back foot. I release my heel and push forward, with everything immediately shifting forward together over the front foot. Then I step forward.

I had to chuckle while writing this, because even the descriptions suit the methods themselves. The first is still a little confusing and unsure, while the adjusted version is simpler and smoother. Sorry for the tangent—I just thought that was funny.

Anyhow… moving on.

Once I felt the second way, I realized a few things:

  • Although it was a very brief moment—a millisecond, really—I was definitely coming out of my centre. I was re-grounding very quickly and was fine again, but it was there. I didn’t even realize it existed until I experienced the movement without it.
  • I wasn’t using my whole body to shift and transition. My back leg was basically dead weight, doing nothing. No wonder I needed a bit of a launch.
  • That shift from the back is so important in maintaining my centre. The transition now feels smooth, and I feel grounded the entire way through.
  • I’m pretty certain that before I was reaching forward with my toes, whereas now I’m stepping much more assuredly with my heel. The distance I’m traveling seems to be the same. I’m not saying heel versus toe is right or wrong, because I honestly don’t know—but in this case, stepping with my heel just feels more assured.
  • I’ve applied this to my horse stance slide-stepping as well, and it seems to be making the same positive difference.
  • I’m trying to apply this to my kicks, and so far I’m seeing a positive influence.

This isn’t mine quite yet. I still have to think about it while practicing, and I have to take my time. But it will be mine eventually. Like I said, I’m seeing so many other places where I can apply this and continue to progress with it.

Sifu Brinker has also challenged me to take it one step further and apply it to my hip. I haven’t quite figured that out yet—but the seed has been planted.

Saturday, February 7, 2026

Just Not Sure

I was promoted on Monday for my 2nd Degree Brown.

It's been some time since I've had an official evaluation like that.  And it was good to have Sifu give me some really personal feedback.

The biggest of which comes down to intensity.  I think.  I've got the technical part of things figured out.  But I'm missing that piece of the puzzle that gives it real substance.  If someone were to watch me, right now, do my forms, kicks, whatever....their thought might be "that looks really good".  But what I want them to say is "Holy shit...I wouldn't want to get in her way".  This is something that's been described to me as meanness with control.  The "who's your daddy" concept.

I'm not sure how to tap into this within myself nor am I convinced it's something I have.  I want to have it.  But I'm not truly sure what "it" is or what "it" feels like.  

Having said that, I do have a plan of sorts.  I have a goal and a coach.  I just need to formulate the plan and then start taking acton.  I will define this better in the coming days/weeks.

On another note, I realized that today was my first, and only Brown Belt Class.  No class next weekend (long weekend) and no class on the 21st (banquet).  After that, it turns into the new Kao Shi (sp?) class.

Saturday, January 17, 2026

Don't Wait

It's been a rough go for me sticking to a regular schedule over the last bit.  Things just keep popping up, causing me to have to reschedule.  Just seems like one thing after another.

I even tried revamping my schedule altogether...and bam...another wrench.

Late Monday evening....with still some time before class...I found myself pondering not going.  The day had been a gong show.  I was tired.  Mentally exhausted.  But I made myself go.  I recognized that it wasn't that I couldn't go...I was just feeling tired and didn't want to go.  But I knew....I just knew...that if I chose not to go...come time for next class...something real would come up and I'd be missing again.

This is similar to that feeling of sudden motivation and drive when I CAN'T train.  Not training, not training...then suddenly an injury...and NOW I have this incredible desire.  And really, it's regret.  Regret that I didn't train when I was able.  Regret that I didn't get to class when I could have.

I don't want regret.  Not that I will ever eliminate it altogether.  But I think I'm pretty self aware.  I know when I can vs when I don't want to.  But if the choice is doing something today, even if I don't want to....or regretting not doing it, when one day I really can't...the choice is pretty clear.

So if I can, I will.

Monday, January 5, 2026

Intentional Rest

This time off has been really beneficial.  It wasn't so much time needed for my body...but more for my mind.  My mind is always going.  I'm a planner.  And like to be organized.  So my mind is typically sorting  (and re-sorting as things change) everything from kids, to activities, to meals, to teaching, to the school...and everything else in between.  

So during this time off I sort of gave myself permission to just turn my brain off and take some time to rest.

That doesn't mean I just sat here staring at a wall.  I was still "active" but just in different ways than normal.  I did alot of puzzles, built alot of Lego (finished my Gringott's!!), played alot of games, and did alot of sitting by the fire with a tea....all with Dan and the kids.  And even though I had allowed myself the "time off" I still found myself thinking about my Kung Fu; worked in a couple trips to the Kwoon, some reps here and there, along with a few pushups and situps.  Not at all what our daily numbers require, but I also didn't wake up today thinking..."Holy Crap....I've done NOTHING in the last 2 weeks and didn't even realize it!"  

For me this was going to be a rest time where I intentionally removed any commitments, schedules or deadlines.  But even with that intention...my Kung Fu was still present and I still felt a desire to incorporate some training.  Not because I felt I had to...but because I wanted to.  And that makes me kinda happy.  

Saturday, December 20, 2025

Still Stuck...But Maybe Not As Bad

Awe man.

Well...a rough start to the weekend so far.  I was moving some bales and one happened to be frozen.  I fought with it quite a bit and WON!!!!  Buuuuuuut...hurt my back in the process.  I was laid up for the remainder of the day pretty much....and found myself feeling really anxious with all the little things that need to be done this time of the year.  

I'm feeling better today...but still tender.  And very gun shy.  So any training today has been pretty slim.  Having said that....the reps I've done of Da Mu Hsing....although low intensity, have been high in the energy work.  When not focusing on a bunch of other things...and when forced to slow things down...I can really feel my energy.  Especially in the transitions and in how it flows from my core to my hands.  Very "tai chi-esque".  And honestly....a nice change up.  I've been feeling kinda stuck in some monotony.  Realistically, it should be easy to switch things up.  But when you're stuck....you're stuck...and sadly, knowing the answer isn't always the solution....as backwards as that may seem.

So although this little back tweak didn't do any wonders for numbers (or getting chores done for that matter) it did force a small change for [hopefully] the better.

Saturday, December 13, 2025

An Illusion

So something really interesting came out of this past Thursday's class that has made me feel alot better about my spear form.

All year I've been trying to speed up my articulations.  To no avail. It feels painfully slow and looks the same when I would watch myself in the mirror.  In speaking with Sihing Lindstrom, he asked "Well how much faster do you want to be?  Because you look pretty fast already."  I was shocked at this statement....because Sihing Lindstrom has some pretty high standards of us.  He asked that I do my articulation and watch myself in the mirror. Which I've done plenty before so I wasn't expecting anything miraculous to happen. But when I started, he said "no...watch yourself from a side view."  And from the side, my spear was MOVING.  I finally saw the speed that I see others producing.  And I realized that the perspective I have in doing, is not the same as what people see.  I also discovered that, in the form, all of the articulations are positioned so the audience has the side view....which was by design...I just didn't realize it until now.  Lol.

Saturday, December 6, 2025

I Can't Breathe

Something I really struggle with in my forms is feeling really gassed by the end.  So a recent focus of mine has been my breathing.  I recognize that I tend to do a hard exhale with every strike.  It's been part of how I really release that energy and maximize my power.  But I also do this with blocks, because I see these as an opportunity to strike as well.  And now that I'm actually dedicating some focus to this, I can that there's a lot of exhaling happening, and not a lot of inhaling.  So it's clear why I feel so gassed.  I'm simply not getting enough oxygen.

I've attempted a few times now to really control my breathing.  Where I'm breathing in.  Where I'm breathing out.  And I've realized I basically don't know how to breathe.

I don't have any answers or solutions here quite yet.  I'm trying a couple of strategies that Sifu Rybak has suggested.  But it's a whole lot trickier than I'd like.  Much of the advice is "don't think about it"....but if I don't think about it, I just do what I was doing.  And that wasn't working.  So I think this is one of those times where I have to think about it....thereby breaking things a bit...and then hopefully I'll piece it back together and not have to think so hard anymore.  

But that's definitely not today.

Saturday, November 29, 2025

A Week Gone

This past week was pretty rough for me.  I found myself feeling under the weather on Sunday and as it progressed, I ended up being away all week...both from my own classes and the ones I teach.  Thank goodness I have an awesome team that was able to step in and handle everything with the kids.  Thankyou!!!!

Missing an entire week feels pretty devastating.  I had gotten back on track with my training over the Fall break...and stayed consistent after that.  And then, bam....I'm down and out...with nada to be added to numbers.  Granted, I did manage to maintain most everything non-physical that happens in the background.  I continued to lesson plan, correspond with parents, etc...and finished up planning and organizing for the Kids Night.  Thank goodness I was feeling better by Friday because it was a blast.  So I guess the week wasn't a total loss.  But still...missing that week of physicality feels like I haven't done anything for months.  And it's not a good feeling.

But I'm geared up to get back to class tomorrow!  Even though it will be interesting to see what sort of hit my body has taken with a full week of nada.  Who wants to bet something gets pulled?  ðŸ˜¬