And another sleep blog!!!
I did some research myself and found alot of the same things that Sihing Bauer already covered, so I won't go into a bunch of detail with most of them, but will still list the major ones I found. I will also comment on my current status with these things and whether or not they will be things that I might try. I'm gonna be honest...there are certain ones that I'm just not interested in because it would be negative for something else that I think is important.
1. Lock in a consistent bedtime - ugh. So tough to stay consistent when every day of the week is different.
2. Control your light (this is apparently a really huge factor)
- Morning: get natural light within 30–60 minutes of waking (even 5–10 minutes helps in Alberta) - this is something I could definitely incorporate better.
- Night: dim lights 1–2 hours before bed - 1-2 hours??? Am I supposed to just sit in the dark awake??? This is the perfect scenario for being tempted into turning on a screen!!! lol
- Avoid screens or use blue-light filters late at night - this is a tough one when one of my favourite times is just being quiet with Dan watching a show. I also tend to do alot of computer work in the evening when others are in bed. For instance...blogging....I just looked at the clock and it's 9:37pm as I'm preparing to post this. Lol.
3. Build a “wind-down” routine - another tricky one just because every night is just so different.
4. Keep your room sleep-friendly - this is pretty good for me. I have blackout curtains and whitenoise already. And a fan blowing on me to stay cool.
5. Watch caffeine timing - not an issue. I don't have coffee typically passed about 10-11am.
6. Don’t go to bed “wired” or stressed - okay. This is a major one for me. If there is anything going on that I haven't been able to resolve...conflicts, deadlines, surprise financial burdens, issues the kids are having, etc......I go through it over and over in my head trying to solve everything all at once. A couple suggestions I found were,
- Write down tomorrow’s to-do list
- Do a brain dump journal
7. Use your bed only for sleep - truth time.....this isn't going to happen. One of my favourite things is sneaking away from the kids with Dan and lying in bed and watching our current favourite series while we wind down. When he's on shift, I normally don't see him until I get home from classes. So this is really important time for me.
8. Get some exercise during the day - but avoid right before bed. You got it!! lol
9. Be careful with naps - I haven't been able to nap since before having kids....so not a normal issue for me.
10. Don’t force sleep - If you’re lying awake for ~20 minutes, get up, do something low-light and boring, then come back. This prevents your brain from linking bed with frustration.**I thought this one was interesting. There are times that I will lie awake for quite some time before falling asleep. Also times where I wake up and lay there for 1-2 hours. I've always told myself NOT to get out of bed because I thought that would make it worse. But this might be something new to try!!
There were also a few on Sihing's list that are different than the list I came up with. A couple that I really like are,
- the cluttered environment. This is true for me but never made the connection!! I always feel more relaxed and better ready to sleep after I've just done a really good clean/organize of my room.
- establish a wake-up routine. Never even dawned on me that this could be part of it all.
Now, having said all this, there are also some things I liked, and absolutely agree with, from Todai Vogt's blog. For one, I agree about food. I definitely need to eat when I get home from classes. And that means 8-9pm. I can't eat before or it sits there in my stomach bouncing around and just makes me feel gross and brutal. BUT I can definitely be better at WHAT I'm eating. That's more the problem for me than the eating itself. As mentioned, a bag of Maltesers and hobo nachos probably isn't the best supper...nevermind that kind of food coming right before bed.
I'm also 100% in agreement that there is a huge sleep change after having kids. And I don't just mean lack of sleep. I'm not sure if it's just a mom thing. I know Dan doesn't experience the same thing. But ever since having kids, it's very rare that I truly feel asleep. I'm not saying never. But I would venture a guess that 95% of the time, even though I might be "asleep", I am still aware. Always with some part of me awake, watching and ready to react when needed. Even as the kids grow older, it remains. And so I thought I'd look it up.
It's apparently something called “maternal hypervigilance” and is very common. After becoming a mom, your brain literally rewires to be more alert...especially during sleep. Research shows changes in areas of the brain tied to threat detection and responsiveness. So instead of fully “switching off,” your brain stays in a lighter, more responsive sleep state. Some of the "symptoms" of this are,
- Waking up at the slightest sound
- Feeling like you’re “on duty” even while asleep
- Trouble dropping into deep sleep
- Being aware of your surroundings all night
It’s basically your nervous system saying “always be ready”. For some moms, myself included, this never fully corrects itself for few reasons:
- Habit + conditioning (you’ve practiced being “on alert” for a long time)
- Stress load (busy life, responsibilities, etc.)
- Nervous system staying slightly activated
This is very different from something like insomnia where people often can’t sleep at all.
Some things that they say can help to gently retrain your nervous system are,
- don’t fight it—you need to teach your body it’s safe to power down again.
- perform some deliberate safety checks before bed (Lock doors, check kids, then your brain can be certain that everything is handled)
- Heavier sensory input (weighted blanket, deeper pressure, or even a firm mattress) which can help your nervous system settle
- Longer exhale breathing (in 4, out 6–8), directly calming that alert state
- Magnesium glycinate (if you’re open to supplements)
- Let someone else “be on duty” sometimes
Very interesting. And I can't believe this is the first time I actually looked this up. I was probably just too tired. 🤣
