I was recently struggling with both lack of direction and confidence. And although I talked about it and worked through some things in 1-on-1s, I neglected to put it all in writing. Not in full anyways. Truth be told, I was feeling guilty for even struggling at all. I mean, there are people around me with real legitimate challenges...and I was feeling a bit ridiculous and somewhat like a whiner. I touched on it in passing, but didn't really dig deep. And I convinced myself to leave it for another day.
Now, a few weeks later, I've worked through those issues and am back on track. I went back, wanting to finish that blog, but it no longer feels relevant. Nor does it feel as honest. I'm on the other side now...and my perspective is completely different...so trying to explain how I felt just doesn't feel organic anymore. And it feels like I missed my opportunity to really be true to what I was feeling and recording it in an honest way. My take on it now is distorted...the memories of what I was feeling and the struggles I was facing have diminished. And I'm simply no longer in that place to accurately reflect where I was and what I was doing.
And now I don't have a true record of that time. Nor do I have a true record of what I might have learnt from it.
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