I AM Self-sufficient

I have always had the desire to learn how to do things myself.  I suppose I just always thought that if I needed to, I would want to be able to take care of myself, and my family, without always having to rely on others.  And I pride myself on attempting things that many people wouldn't.  I never wanted to be a "damsel in distress".

My most recent accomplishment was this weekend.  I drove the truck and trailer to Dillberry, Alberta to go camping with some old friends.  Fun fact, this is the area that Sihing Jackie Kohut grew up.  I went by myself, leaving Dan and the kids at home.  And so not only did I haul a 26 foot trailer for 4 hours one-way, but also handled all the setup and take-down.  It was alot of fun and everything went smoothly.

Things like this can seem intimidating, but as with anything, if you take the time to learn, you wonder why you were ever so scared.

I AM Self-sufficient

PS.  Video included as a possible future Tiger Challenge event.  I'm told this is called the "Taco Challenge" and it is both ridiculous and hilarious.

Playing With Spaghetti

In a recent class we were advised to "be more spaghetti".  Meaning, think less about technique and perfection, and just let our bodies move how they want.

Initially, this felt really "sloppy" to me.  But I understood the intent behind the exercise.  I understood that she was trying to get us out of our heads a bit, and to just experiment with letting our bodies flow how they'd want to, if we weren't so busy overthinking every single little step.  Just let loose and see what happens...so to speak.

I've continued this exercise at home the last couple days, because I saw the value here, especially for me personally.  I tend to be pretty intense when I do a form.  Yes, you need intensity, but you also need flow.  And right now, I think I'm way more intensity than I am flow.  So this exercise is a good way for me to see what happens if I push myself to the opposite end of the spectrum.  

I found it pretty hard at first to apply this exercise to my own personal form, with all the kicks, but slowly it started to come together.  Initially I was just flailing about (spaghetti-like) but eventually, I found that my arms wanted to move a certain way that complimented the kick.  Prior to this exercise, my focus has been mostly on the kick itself.  I know my upper body needs to be involved, and I know where I would like it to end up, but I think my intent was to just force it there, rather than letting it move there freely.  I'm calling this a "conflict of intent" 😉.  While "being more spaghetti", I wasn't worried so much about where things needed to eventually be, and instead allowed them to move there in whatever manner seemed most natural.  It does sort of feel a bit odd, because I sense that I look rather flamboyant while doing this, but I think this is part of the whole "go over the top and then pull it back" process...of finding balance and establishing harmony.

I'm going to keep utilizing this exercise for a while because I think I'm on to something here.  

*Aaaaaand as I was finishing this blog, the big movements of Lao Gar just flashed in my mind.  I suddenly have some more clarity on just how this form is developing our 6 harmonies.  And a whole bunch more that are seemingly falling out of the sky....Weeeeeeeeee!!!!

Gotta Put On My Thinking Cap

As mentioned in my last blog, I have several things on the go at present and I think it's time for me to do a re-evaluation.

I tend to be the type that thrives with lots going on.  I enjoy trying new things and typically go all in when I find something that fulfills me.

Having said that, there is literally only so much time and energy a single person has.  And the more I want to do, the more I need to determine what things will serve me best.

Which of these things are of benefit to me?  
Which are a benefit to my family or community?  
Which are bringing me joy, and which are not?  
What are the "have tos" versus the "want tos"?  
Is this something that is serving me right now, or will it serve me in the future?  
Is this something that can be postponed and picked up again later?
Can this be tweaked slightly to make it easier, or less time consuming?  
Can I ask for help with this or even delegate it altogether?
Is it time to hand this responsibility off to someone with a fresh perspective?
Is this something that is causing stress or frustration?
Is this something that is demanding too much attention for the value it brings?

This will be a bit of a thought process and is going to take some time to work out.  But I'm curious to see where it leads.

The Almost "Bonehead" Decision

I've been working on a large number of different things recently.  So many, in fact, that I started feeling like I needed to remove something to gain a little more breathing room.  As I assessed all the various commitments I have, I found myself considering taking a step back from Tai Chi and not signing up for the next session.  At first glance it looked to be the "easiest" thing to cut.

Thank goodness this thought only lasted a few minutes and didn't get any serious traction.

Why would I cut something that provides so much benefit?  Why would I cut something that actually provides calm and stability to my life?  Something that keeps me grounded and centered?  These benefits flow into all the other areas of my life, and would certainly have an adverse affect if removed.

As I thought on this more, I came to truly realize the importance of my Tai Chi, and any of my internal work for that matter, including my meditation, mindfulness and chi healing practice.

Often, when I feel behind, I will forgo my internal work and put my focus on my physical numbers.  I think the reasoning is that I have committed to those numbers in a more formal capacity, and so the internal work is the easy thing to cut, since I'm not really accountable to anyone for it.  The days I do this tend to be mediocre days.  And it gets worse and worse the more days I miss in a row.  When I don't do any of my internal practice, I end up feeling as though everything else is lacking...as if I haven't accomplished anything at all.  Even though I might be staying up with my numbers, the effort behind them and the quality seem sub par.  Yet when I ensure that meditation, tai chi or my other chi work is incorporated into my day, everything else seems to take care of itself.

Is this coincidence?  No, I don't think so.

We were asked, not long ago, what our "go to" is to initiate momentum for our training.  What do we do that seems to support and supplement everything else down the line?

For me it's my internal work.  Tai Chi, meditation or my chi healing is what seems to drive the rest.  

If I ensure I include this in my day, everything else seems to flow without effort.

Kung Fu'ing My Kids Part 7 of...

My kids have both been practicing Kung Fu for over 2 years now.  For much of that, there has been crying, complaining, fighting and arguing that they did not want to go.  Oftentimes, once they got there, they enjoyed it.  Other times, not so much.  But to me it was simple.  My job was to get them there.  The rest was up to them.  Either way they went.

Then suddenly, just the other day, it dawned on me that there has not been any fighting for quite some time.  Kung Fu has shifted from chore, to simply a part of their lives.  A good part.  They happily get their things ready on Kung Fu days.  They have developed relationships with their instructors and class mates.  They look forward to their one on ones and even want to attend open training.  I don't know exactly when things shifted, and it took time and effort to get there, but they did.  

Now I'm under no false pretenses that this is the end of all opposition.  It will most definitely not be all rainbows and unicorns going forward.  I am 100% certain the day will come when the resistance picks up again.  But I will be ready to throw the gloves back on when that time comes.

As a parent, I've seen too much growth in both of them to not recognize the value of Kung Fu in their lives.  As a martial artist, I've seen the growth in myself, and know what more it will have to offer them in the future.  As an instructor I've had the privilege of seeing the positive changes in every single kid that walks through that door, and recognize that potential for my kids as well.

And so as exhausting and tiresome as it has been, and will likely be again in the future, I see too much value to give in.  But for now, I will enjoy the peace.

I AM a Student

Just yesterday I had my first opportunity at leading a Tiny Tigers class.  These classes can often be challenging for various reasons.  The biggest being that the kids in this age group have copious amounts of energy, but haven't yet developed the skill to regulate that energy nor reign in their focus.  For the time being, it's the job of the instructors to provide the tools and support to help them get there.  So typically, by the end of a class, I find myself wondering why I feel like I just took a ride on a dragon through a hurricane.  Both exciting and terrifying depending on how you look at it.

Having said that, I think my first attempt went pretty well.  I went with a circuit theme where we had 5 different activity stations.  I wanted to keep them moving and excited, so we spent 1 minute at each, trying to do as many reps as we could.  From what I could see, everyone stayed mostly engaged and appeared happy with the activities and the pace.  Nobody booed or threw things at me, so I'll take that as a win.

Although this first class went well, I know they won't always be like that.  I am going to need to learn to pivot on a dime.  Change gears when needed.  Or ask for help when things are really going downhill.  All valuable skills that I can apply to my own training, and my life, as well.

Planning and preparation can certainly go a long way.  But, my greatest resource as an instructor will be these kids.  The more I can read their cues, the better I will be able to adapt to their needs.  Ultimately teaching is just another way to be a student.

And I look forward to more opportunities.

I AM an Explorer

When an idea first comes to mind, or an opportunity first presents itself, it is so easy to come up with all the reasons why I shouldn't, couldn't or can't. There are always plenty. So what I like to do right away is ask myself what I would do if there were no obstacles. Would this be something I'd want? That’s the first step. And if the answer is yes, the next is to start working around those obstacles one by one. Once I set my mind to something, the obstacles suddenly don’t seem as big as they initially were.

Exploring, for me, isn't necessarily about the physical world. It's more about fully exploring the life I've been given. Discovering it to its fullest potential.

Even the smallest opportunity has the potential to become a great adventure.

I AM an explorer

1 x 10 OR 10 x 1

I think the biggest challenge I face continues to be finding peace in the slow and steady progress.

I am constantly questioning my success. Wondering why I can't do "this" or "that" by now. Feeling like maybe I'm not doing enough. Or that I'm not doing the right things.

But logically, I know this isn't the case. I can actually SEE this isn't the case from both my blogging and from tracking my numbers. In fact, if I look back to when I first started, I'm doing much MUCH more. So why do I feel as though I'm not making as much progress now as I did then?

It took me a while to sort this out...but
I think I have a reasonable answer. I think my progress seems slow, or non existent at times, because of exactly what I said above. It's because I'm doing more.

At the start of my Kung Fu journey, I was learning, and working on, a handful of things. All of my time, all of my focus, was devoted to these. And so I saw tremendous (and obvious) progress. Slowly, over time, I added more and more...and more....and then some more...and then tripled and doubled it all. Unfortunately my available time and focus did NOT increase by this same rate.

My effort is still there. My commitment is still there. The hard work is still there. It's just spread across many different areas of both necessity and passion. Divided amongst all the aspects of Kung Fu and Kung Fu inspired projects and initiatives. More forms, more techniques, more skills, meditation, chi, teaching, pottery, gardening, drumming, and so on. All things that have developed and expanded because of Kung Fu. All deserving of my attention and focus. All providing passion and excitement to me and my life. I'm sure I could sacrifice some of these things. But currently, I feel these things are all serving me in a positive way. They are all adding value to me and my Kung Fu as a whole.

So it's not that I'm not making as much progress as I have in the past. It's simply that it's smaller amounts of progress in many more things. And when you look at the small bits as a whole, it's still pretty tremendous.

I would also imagine that this continues as a person advances....and so I better just find peace with the slow and steady progress.

IHC Number Update - June 1, 2022

 My June IHC Update - Approximately 35% into the Year of the Tiger

Year of the Tiger - Feb 1, 2022 to Jan 20, 2023 (353 days)

✅ = achieving/exceeding my numbers or generally on track where numbers don't really apply.  

❌ = behind on my numbers or things aren't going well, where numbers don't apply.

➖ = unsure of progress, the opportunity hasn't presented itself yet, it may take the full year to properly evaluate, or it's something I would need my instructors to determine my success/failure.  I've decided to still list these things here just as a reminder that they are still requirements.

Base Requirements

✅ Hand Form - Dou Ti  339/1000

✅ Weapon Form - Stick 1 and 2  340/1000

✅ Push-ups  17154/50,000

✅ Sit-ups  17038/50,000

❌ Sparring  333/1000 *I'm short here by about 10.

✅ Kilometers 602/1609

✅ Acts of Kindness 362/1000

✅ Blogging/Online Presence

✅ Unexcused Absences

❌ Mastery by Stewart Emery - being honest I can't remember when I read this last and cannot recite it from memory.  But if it means anything , I do understand the premise.

✅ Mend a Relationship - I organized another zoom gettogether that was lots of fun.

➖ Lion Dancing - Instructors call

❌ Tiger Challenge - I am not available for either of the new tentative dates

✅ Public Performances - I finally did one!!!  I fumbled and completely left out a portion, so it wasn't stellar, but I was there.  Lol

➖ Core Curriculum - Instructors call

✅ SRKF Projects and Initiatives

Personal Requirements

➖ Learn how to reclaim my pottery clay

➖ Establish a 15 minute/2km run time - Haven't timed myself in a while.

⭐ Box Jumps

✅ Monthly date with Dan

❌ Lion Dance Drumming - haven't really put any focus on this.

➖ Weekend Kung Fu Training with Kids - this has slid a bit with summer and spending weekend time on other things.  So I need to make some more effort.

✅ Chi Development

➖ 3 x 1 Month "Clean Eating Challenge" -  Starts today!

✅ Record Numbers of all known forms.  There is no specific number I'm trying to reach.  My personal requirement is simply to record them.

• Awakening the Dragon = 10
• Broadsword 1-2 = 8
• Da Mu Hsing 1-5 = 35
• Hsieh Chien = 22
• Lao Gar 1-3 = 28
• Long 1 = 14
• Hung 1-2 = 39

❌  I AM Project 8/30 - I should be at about 10-11 at this point

 

Mmmmmmm...Sugar.....

Today begins the second month of my dietary personal requirement.  

February was terribly unsuccessful.  So based on feedback and suggestions from some amazing team mates, I am changing my approach slightly for June.

I've decided to take a more "baby step" approach and will focus my attention on reducing my daily sugar intake.  "Added sugar" is what is of more concern, but I don't want to make things too complicated by trying to figure out how much is added and how much is natural.  I need to keep the tracking as simple as possible or I won't do it.  But as a secondary focus, I will also be mindful of trying to limit most of my sugar intake to natural food items like vegetables and fruits.

From the millions of resources that google spewed out, it looks like the recommendation for me (based on age, height, weight, activity, etc) would be about 90 total grams of sugar per day.  So that's all sugar, natural or not.

I will let you know if I think that's enough or not at the end of the day.  You'll likely be able to tell the outcome based on how grouchy I am.

The Terribly Unhelpful Blog

I feel like I'm sort of just coasting.  But truthfully, I can't necessarily decide if that's bad or not.  Does coasting imply mediocrity?  Or is it still steady constant movement forward...just really uneventful?  I think it could potentially be either.  But how do I tell the difference?  I don't know.

I feel like I'm doing the things I'm supposed to be doing.  So I'm not really sure what to change or implement.  And is change even needed?  I'm not so sure whether making changes every time there's a blip in the radar is a help or a hinderance.  Perhaps just pushing forward with trust that clarity will come is best?  I don't know.

More bothersome than the above, I feel disconnected.  But I can't really say why.  I am typically a very connected person, to most everything and everyone around me, as well as to myself.  And so I am very uncomfortable here.  I feel vulnerable here.  How do I reconnect?  Why am I feeling disconnected in the first place?  I don't know.

Where am I?  What am I doing?  Why do I blank when I ask myself these questions?  I honestly don't know.

I was hoping to come full circle with some clarity and understanding, but alas, not today.  This was a terribly unhelpful blog.  My sincerest apologies to the reader.  😬

Still Doable

I’m currently camping.  

The thing about camping is that, even though I’m outdoors, I don’t seem to have any space or privacy or time to myself.  

I’m really learning the benefit of sneaking in small bits of training throughout my day.  A rep of stick here.  A few push-ups there.  So far I’m keeping up with things even though it doesn’t seem like I’m doing all that much.  

I prefer to have a large chunk of time in the mornings dedicated to my training.  But I’m still finding it very doable when my situation is different from bye norm. 

I AM Listening

I was really angry with both of my kids this morning.  Actually, I shouldn't say angry.  I wanted to be angry.  But if I'm honest, I was more hurt by some of their recent actions.  It's probably odd to say that my feelings were hurt by two children, but nonetheless, they were.  And I began my day in sadness.

As I drove to work, I had to slow down to let a young fox cross my path.  He darted out of the adjacent trees, not bothering for a moment to look for danger.  Just went for it, not a care in his mind...solely focused on the adventure in front of him.  

Not a minute later I had to stop altogether as two young deer stared at me curiously from the middle of the road.  They took their time crossing...they did not run...they didn't even walk quickly...it was lollygagging really.  As they approached a fence, they seemed to look at it curiously.  The first literally bounced right over.  I didn't even see him bend his legs at all.  The second followed effortlessly.  True power of the instep right there.  I don't think failure even crossed their minds.  And they were on their way.

Again, a few minutes later, I had the strangest impression that a young robin was racing me. He was right beside me, flying straight and fast along the road.  I swear he winked and laughed with excitement.  And this lasted for several seconds.  Much longer than I would consider a coincidence.  And enough that I finally received the message.

Ok I get it.  My children are young yet.  Their spirits are free....as they should be.  Their minds absent of too much responsibility or the anxiety that often comes with it....as they should be.  Their actions are not intended to harm or hurt.  They are on an adventure, making all kinds of errors in judgment, but still learning, a little at a time, along the way.

I AM listening.