The Other Side

Yesterday’s class was my first attempt at many of our forms using only upper body and no directional turns.  Up until then I’d been focussing on Lao Gar and my Tai Chi mainly.  

Although I lost my place near the end of Da Mu Hsing 5, that one went better than I expected.  Without the lower half it can be easy to lose momentum.  But I ran through it again later, 5 only as recommended by Sidai S Csillag, and it was fine.  So at least I know I haven’t lost it and it was just a glitch.

Long went well, as did 18 Temple motions.  These ones actually felt fairly decent given the circumstances.  I was able to find some flow of energy and focused more on my breathing, especially for Long. I really struggle with my breathing pattern for this form.  So by removing the lower half, it’s like I have some extra brain power to devote.  Nothing solved, but it’s a work in progress.

The one that was, surprisingly, the most difficult was Hung.  This is a very short form, and I know the steps.  So it’s not that I’ve forgotten.  But for some reason I couldn’t seem to separate the upper from the lower.  Without the lower half moving, I just couldn’t maintain the upper movements.  So this seems to be one form that I really need both halves working together.  I don’t have any answers “why” at this point, but I did find this really interesting,

I also attempted doing some kicks from the ground, focussing on chambering and foot position.  By the end, I even had a little bit of hip rotation for the side heel.  It was kind of cool how even doing this modified version, I was seeing some progression from start to finish.  I also attempted the kicks with my right foot (surgery side).  I’m worried about that leg getting weak, so I’m trying to do what I can.   I had my boot on, so everything was fairly stabilized.  But if I attempted to kick fast, or with any sort of power, I immediately wanted to blade or pull my toes back automatically.  And any toe movement is a big no-no right now.  So I slowed that side down to avoid any temptation.  Made it more of a strengthening exercise on that side.  However, later on, in the middle of the night, I awoke to pain in my foot.  It was my arch and my ankle.  And it was bad enough I had to get up and take some Tylenol.  I have a feeling that the number of reps I did, combined with the weight of the boot, was too much for my weakened foot to handle.  It doesn’t seem like I did much, but between the trauma that foot has been through, plus the inactivity, I think it was overworked.  So I’ll need to heed that warning.

I continue to feel like I’m not doing very much.  Like everything I do is incomplete, and therefore inconsequential.  But the intellectual part of me continues to push me forward.  It’s equivalent to those phases in my training where I lack motivation or direction…where I’d like to stop…but where I continue to train anyways…knowing I will eventually get to the other side.