My Ego Is A Jerk

My body is not cooperating lately.  For quite some time I have felt restricted, stiff and sore. I don’t feel like I am getting the range I’m capable of, nor height, speed or strength.  I recognize that I need to add my gravity stretching back into my day.  Once again, I’ve let that completely fall off the wagon.  But this acknowledgment comes too late, and so this past week I’ve also been coping with a lower back injury, sharp pain in my knee and elbow, and a real bad tweak in my neck.  Today seems to be the worst yet.

Injuries, or even just minor limitations, are so frustrating.  And they always seem to come when I can least afford them…in times where I’m overly busy and find myself already too far behind for my liking. Today, I had planned to focus on my forms.  I’m behind several reps for both.  Yet the attempts I’ve made so far today have been pretty weak and feeble. Low kicks, shallow stances (if you can even call them stances), slow movements.  I’m obviously more focussed on my injuries and not making them worse, which is fine…but then I feel like my training efforts are pretty much pointless.  I’m left feeling incompetent and dissatisfied.  And I find myself thinking, “does this even count if I’m training at such a low intensity?”…along with “why even bother?”.

The rational, and more compassionate part of me says yes, I absolutely should bother.  Modify accordingly and continue training even at a low intensity.  And yes it “counts”.  

This is also what I would advise anyone else to do.

And so although I continue to train in a very diminished capacity, my ego is being a real jerk and has me feeling like a fake.