102 Floors Up

Historically, I have always had severe anxiety when it comes to heights.  Balconies, glass walls or floors, Ferris Wheels, bridges, even swinging too high as a kid....all have brought on fear and anxiety to the point I'd sometimes feel as though my breath was taken away and I'd just want to drop to my belly and hug the ground.

So when Dan said he wanted to take the Skypod ride to the top of the new World Trade Center Observatory in New York, I agreed, but didn't think it would be at all pleasant.

It surprised me then, at 102 floors up, facing a 360degree full glass wall overlooking the entire city, that I felt no anxiety or fear at all.  Literally none.  I felt completely calm and was easily able to not only approach the glass walls to look out but even leaned on the glass to capture a photo straight down.  It was a new and amazing feeling to be able to enjoy that moment and take in the breathtaking view, without the fear and anxiety that has always been present.

This sudden change confused me.  How could I suddenly have no fear when previously the anxiety was near crippling?  I wouldn't think that anxiety like this would just suddenly disappear, but that seemed to be the case.

As I was sharing my story with a friend, she made a comment alluding to practicing yoga to cope with anxiety issues.  And a lightbulb suddenly went off.  What if my fear of heights hasn't suddenly vanished for no reason at all?  What if my meditation practice over the last couple of years, along with my kung fu and continuous work on centering and grounding, has something to do with it?  It makes sense to me that it would at least be a contributing factor.  The practices of calming the mind, breathing, mindfulness, grounding, gratitude, acceptance of mortality, energy, chi, and so on, are all things that would most definitely help alleviate feelings of anxiety or fear, not just with heights, but with many things.

And I continue to be amazed at what Kung Fu has, and is, doing for me in all areas of my life.