Oh I Get It...Previously Known As "I AM Humble"

I have recently found some success with the I AM project.  And it came about as I struggled to write this particular blog over the last couple of months.

The I AM project has been difficult for me from the start.  At first I felt it was because the topics were too specific.  My blogging tends to manifest on it's own, coming from what I am experiencing in the moment.  And having to choose a specific word from a list to write about was not in line with how I blog.  It felt too forced.

I soon realized that, although this was a factor, it wasn't the main issue I was having.  The issue was more about the meaning behind many of these words themselves.  I began to recognize that I was having the most difficulty with the words that are, to me, truly remarkable qualities to possess.  Many of these words hold so much significance, that they just seem too great to use as descriptors for myself and I did not feel worthy of their use.

As I was thinking these things, I realized this could be an opportunity to use the word HUMBLE as my topic.  I was struggling with writing about myself, with affirming these things about myself, and I thought that might fit.  But as I wrote, my thoughts began to take yet another turn and I had to pause.  Once again, it wasn't coming out the way I intended. The more I wrote, the more I recognized that my definition of humble wasn't right.  I do think I am humble, but my reasons didn't have much substance.  Not being able to describe myself in positive ways, not being able to recognize important qualities in myself, shying away from credit or thanks...that's not humble.  That's low self-worth.  And that's not the same thing.

And so, although this blog has changed course from the original topic of being humble, I somehow delved so deep that I didn't just re-evaluate what being humble truly meant, but also discovered a turning point for myself with the I AM project as a whole. The more I dug into this, the more I found myself able to acknowledge, with confidence, that I am many of the things on the I AM word list.  I began to see the importance of affirming these things in myself in order to keep moving forward, as well as the damage and setbacks caused by continuously telling myself I was NOT.  It's not about patting myself on the back for a job well done.  It's about finding the deeper meanings within these various ideals and building on those each time I happen to discover one.  That is how I will truly grow and progress.

I am now just recognizing the bigger purpose, and the true value, behind the whole thing.