It's Not You...It's Me

I'm going to be very honest with myself in this blog.  I don't know if it will serve a purpose other than feelings of shame...but we shall see I suppose.

A tremendous realization punched me in the face today when I saw Mr. Bauer's latest challenge.

If you haven't seen it yet, it is 25 reps of Da Mu Hsing.  As much as we know.  So being my IHC form, this means the full I-V.  And I almost had to laugh at the irony (almost) because my knee-jerk reaction was....What??  I have to do MORE Da Mu Hsing???

And so my confession is this....I'm just so tired of doing Da Mu Hsing.

Admitting this just now, by the way, did not make me feel any better.  Worse, in fact.  I feel shame and failure and I fear judgement.  This is my form!!  My beloved form.  I have worked so hard on this all year.  852 repetitions and counting.  I should embrace this form for everything it has given me...for all the progress I've made...but all I want to do is run off with Lao Gar...or Long...or Stick...or Hseih Chien...anything but Da Mu Hsing.

I need to re-ignite the spark.  How?  I don't know...but I better figure something out fast with the banquet fast approaching.

I'm so sorry Da Mu Hsing.  It's not you...it's me.