My First Blog

I've never really had an issue expressing myself.  I can hold my own in a conversation with pretty much anyone.  I've done plenty of public speaking.  I've done my fair share of writing.  Truth be told I used to write essays for fun (yes fun!) starting in about Grade 4...and then for cash and beer in high school (please do not tell my kids about the beer...I've got a fictional past I need to maintain until these kids turn 18😉).

Yet I sat down to write this blog, my first, and found myself starting, restarting, revising and deleting over and over again.  So I stepped away...went on to something else and pondered over why I was having such a hard time.  I realized the problem was my thoughts and ideas were all over the place.  Just random words and sentences all linked together very awkwardly because they really had no connection.  I was trying to say too much all at once....trying to solve all my problems (and the worlds') in one little blog.  I literally laughed out loud (does anyone even write the long version anymore?...lol) when I realized the following. 

My writing simply had no intent.  No purpose.  I was unfocused about what I wanted to say, and so I was rambling.  As you can imagine, I heard a voice in my head, saying the same things we've all heard many times over.  

Be clear about your intent.

Have a purpose with your training.

Make a specific goal for what you want to work on.

These blogs are supposed to support and supplement my training, so it would make sense to have intent when writing as well.  That doesn't mean that my initial "drafts" won't always begin with a mish-mash of thoughts and emotions.  Perhaps a separate journal for the random day-to-day thoughts, that don't yet make sense, would be beneficial.  But I think the point of the blog itself is to sift through these thoughts, arrange them so they can be understood and then choose something, whether it be an illuminating insight, a seemingly unsolvable problem or maybe something in between, to reflect on, and hopefully learn from.

I have plenty of work to do regarding intent, both with blogging and on the mats.  But what I do intend to do is keep at it.