My Crane

I'm currently working on my crane stance.  

That may sound odd, because I'm not sure there are many people that need to work on this, but I definitely do.

One of my weak points is my balance...and my grounding; my ability to be grounded, to stay grounded and to re-ground when required.  This weakness causes problems in a whole bunch of areas...one of which is my kicks.  I think that one of the reasons I have such difficulty with staying strong and grounded with my kicks is the fact that I'm not strong and grounded to start with.  I want to be able to get into a crane stance, and not be forced to throw a kick before I'm really ready because I literally might topple over if I don't.  I want my kick to be on my terms.  I'd like to be able to get into a crane stance, and have the ability to change my course of action if need be.  I'd like to be able to get into a crane stance, and be stable enough to defend myself even on one leg.

I realize this issue is likely not solely linked to my crane stance.  And I know this is also something that will improve over time with consistent practice.  But if there are things I can do to help things along, then I'll give it a shot!

And so....I am working on my crane stance.

Kung Fu'ing My Kids - Part 3 of...

I got the kids both sticks for Christmas.  Actually Emma got a Stick and Nathan an Escrima.

I was somewhat surprised that on Christmas morning, when they saw them, they literally jumped over the other presents to get to them.   Surprised...and kinda proud.

Before anything else, they took them to our training area...proceeded to whack the heavy bags repeatedly (thankfully not each other)....placed them carefully on the mats...and THEN tore into the rest of their gifts.

Since then, they continue to "practice" every so often....mostly before classes....but sometimes just when they feel like it.  

And I count this as a win.

Kung Fu'ing My Kids - Part 2 of....

Further to the "I don't want to..." conflicts....kids will often develop new "quirks" as they grow and change.  This too adds another challenging aspect to keeping them engaged.

When we first switched to online classes, it was a bit of a novelty and everything was fine.  After a bit, the novelty wore off.  It became distracting to be at home and easy to let their minds wander, forgetting they were still in a real class.  Engagement became a struggle so I started doing the classes with them and utilized the 1-on-1's. Things seemed to be going okay (more or less) once we got into a rhythm.

Eventually we were allowed back at the Kwoon.  My daughter, almost immediately, moved up to Black Dragons and my son continued in Tiny Tigers...but as a parented class due to restrictions.  It became  apparent that my son had developed some new aversions since the shutdown.  He complained that he had to do the class with other students.  He only wanted to have class with Sifu Vantuil....although I can't really blame him...lol.  It appeared he had become used to the 1-on-1 atmosphere, the quieter home classes, not seeing the other students, etc, etc.  In addition, and although he was always somewhat sensitive to loud noises (Kee-YA!!) he seemed much more bothered by them now.  To the point it would bring him to tears.  He was having a much harder time listening and paying attention, likely because he had become accustomed to me repeating the instructions and showing him what he should be doing.  So although I thought I was making the right move by doing the class with him at home, I'm no longer sure.  It was as if he had lost all the independence and confidence he had acquired.  These classes became quite stressful for me.  I was always "at the ready" to calm him down, keep him engaged, encourage him to keep going.  It was exhausting.  I hoped that the transition back to unparented classes was going to be the fix, but I was wrong.  He was unable to cope with these new aversions without me beside him and he became lost, flustered and overwhelmed.  I watched the livestream during the first unparented class and I had to shut it off.  It was too hard to watch.  And then we were shutdown again.

We've been back online now for a while now,  so we're back to quieter classes at home and 1-on-1's.  I'm doing the classes with him still because that seems to keep him engaged, for the most part.  But I fear the after effects and I do not anticipate a smooth transition once we return again.

I will be really excited when we are allowed back at the Kwoon.  

I will be really anxious when we are allowed back at the Kwoon.

Restoring the Balance

About a week and a half ago, I was challenged with determining my different triggers for motivation, or lack there of.  I was feeling a bit foggy, mentally, so the exercise was intended to pinpoint the reason(s) why.  I covered this in a previous blog, so you may remember that the number of active "bad triggers" greatly outnumbered the active "good triggers".  I have since restructured various things and am back in a really great space and frame of mind.  The following is that same list of triggers, but I've updated the hi-lighting to show which are in play right now.  Those marked with an asterisk had been hi-lighted during the original exercise.  I can clearly see that I've restored the balance.  

I’ve also been able to recognize that the main trigger that led to the landslide of other de-motivators was the break in routine.  That one seemed to allow the others to creep in and take over.  I need to develop a plan for those temporary breaks to ensure that doesn’t happen again  

If anyone has been feeling this same way, I would highly recommend trying this exercise.  It made things so clear by putting pen to paper.  It also made it much easier to get back on track having a clear outline of what was working against me.

In general, the following are things that really motivate me,

- Specific goals with deadlines

- A well-rounded plan

- Group challenges

- Being accountable to others or having others relying on me

- Personal challenges...but I need someone else to share these with

- Taking part in special events

- Learning new information (forms, techniques, etc)

- Analyzing and breaking things down in order to understand the whole

- Being tested

- Motivating others

- Tracking numbers and hitting milestones

- Measurable progress

- Making key discoveries

- Organizing and planning challenges/events/etc

- Being told I can't

- Blogging (both writing and reading)

- Regular meetings or interactions with instructors/mentors

- Sharing in the success of those around me

- Making lists

- Reading

And in general, these are the things that sap my motivation,

- Breaks in routine*
- Injury or illness
- Ongoing external negative energy or influence*
- Excessive change/uncertainty*
- Personal or professional conflicts
- Long term lack of sleep
- Perceived or actual lack of progress
- A stagnant training regime*
- Extended periods of unhealthy eating*
- Unwanted responsibility*
- Lack of a plan*
- Focusing on too many things at once*

Yes They Are

Recently it seems like a certain lesson has been repeated quite often.  Or perhaps I'm just noticing it more as a Yellow belt.  This particular lesson is how, as we make our way up to higher and higher belt levels, the expectations increase as well.  

We can't do Da Mu Hsing the same at Blue as we did at Green.  We can't do a Roundhouse the same at Yellow as we did at White.  And this applies to every single form, technique, application...everything.

When the Sifus are talking to us about this, I find myself thinking...."Am I not progressing?"...."Should I be working harder?"...."Am I not doing enough?"..."Did this come up because of something I did, or didn't do?"...and a myriad of other questions.

I ultimately wonder "Are they are talking to me specifically?"...

And the answer is yes, they are. 

The Hip Bone's Connected to the.....

I have been doing daily hip opening exercises since Jan 1 for 15 minutes a day.  I'm hoping it will help me with an ongoing injury. balance, flexibility, grounding....as well as improve my kicks and other techniques....really there are many different reasons and benefits to this.  Your hips are connected to so many things.

The first pic was taken Jan 1 (left or top).  The 2nd pic is from Jan 11 (right or bottom).  Yes I realize I happen to be wearing the exact same clothes.  That was not planned.  Lol.

I had felt like there had been some improvement....but without these pics I never would have guessed to this degree.  Man I love progress pics!!!!

It's so important to track our progress somehow...seeing progress, any progress, is probably the #1 motivator for most of us.  If we can see it's working, we'll keep doing it. 

Kung Fu'ing My Kids - Part 1 of...

Venting in a humorous way often helps me cope with difficult situations.  If I can find a way to laugh, big issues will often become much smaller.  At the very least, it helps me not feel quite so overwhelmed and allows me to clear my head.

Hence this blog.

I wish I knew what I was doing when it comes to my kids.  I wish there were a manual to follow.

But I don't.  And there isn't.  So I'm making this up as I go along.  But if someone actually does have a manual please let me know.

As a practicing martial artist, I am able to recognize many benefits of Kung Fu.  I've experienced some of these personally.  For the many, many others, I don't have to look very far to I see how it's shaped many young people into some really amazing adults.  And I want that for my kids.

But man I hate fighting.  I hate the crying.  I hate the complaining.  

So I've tried to come up with some different "go to" responses to avoid a fight...or limit the amount of fighting involved....or to just keep my sanity.

Here are the most popular.  But don't be fooled...these interactions rarely play out in just 3 "lines".  More often than not we run through all of these, and more, in one occurrence.  But I didn't think a complete depiction was necessary.  In any event, if you're a parent or a caregiver...or if you were ever a child....I think you'll be able to imagine (re-live?) the full length versions fairly accurately.

Please note that I've used various alias' so as to not pinpoint any particular child and to protect their privacy...as any decent parent would.

Bathan:  But I don't want to do Kung Fu! (angry)
Mom:  Not an option.  Go get your uniform on.
Bathan:  (puts on uniform still angry)

Gathan:  But I don't want to go to Kung Fu. (crying)
Mom:  You're going.  Go happy or go sad...your choice.  Either way, you're still going.  Now go get your uniform on.
Gathan:  (puts on uniform still crying)

Dathan:  But I don't want to...
Mom:  GO GET YOUR UNIFORM ON!
Dathan:  (puts on uniform in alarm)

Zathan:  But Kung Fu is boring.  I don't want to do Kung Fu.  (whining)
Mom:  Well if you don't want to do Kung Fu you'll have to call Sifu Brinker and talk to him.
Zathan:  (puts on uniform in fear)

Now I don't like to use the last one unless I absolutely have to.  I'm a stickler for following through on my "threats" and I'm fairly certain that eventually, the response will be "Fine...pass me the phone."   Although come to think of it....I wouldn't mind hearing that conversation.

My point is that every time I think we've gotten past the "I don't want to go" phase, it rears it's ugly head once again.  And although sometimes it feels like I'm barely hanging on....that it would be so much easier to give in.....I remind myself of all the benefits to Kung Fu, many of which are still to come.  I remind myself that Kung Fu is going to help me raise these kids into decent, kind, confident human beings that will make a positive impact on this world.

Then I get myself into my best possible mental bow stance...and prepare myself for a battle of wills.......with a 5 year old.

Triggers

I've found myself in a bit of a cloudy mental state.  I'm still training.  But I'm making myself train, rather than wanting to train.  I've learned previously not to let myself stop the physical training, regardless of my mental state.  But you never want to leave anything left unchecked for too long.

It was suggested that I analyze this a bit further and try and see if I can put my finger on what is sapping my drive.  I've been challenged to determine the triggers that fuel my motivation, and the triggers that extinguish my motivation.  It will be important to recognize both.  So here we go.

In general, the following are things that really motivate me,

- Specific goals with deadlines

- A well-rounded plan

- Group challenges

- Being accountable to others or having others relying on me

- Personal challenges...but I need someone else to share these with

- Taking part in special events

- Learning new information (forms, techniques, etc)

- Analyzing and breaking things down in order to understand the whole

- Being tested

- Motivating others

- Tracking numbers and hitting milestones

- Measurable progress

- Making key discoveries

- Organizing and planning challenges/events/etc

- Being told I can't

- Blogging (both writing and reading)

- Regular meetings or interactions with instructors/mentors

- Sharing in the success of those around me

- Making lists

- Reading

And in general, these are the things that sap my motivation,

- Breaks in routine

- Injury or illness

- Ongoing external negative energy or influence

- Excessive change/uncertainty

- Personal or professional conflicts

- Long term lack of sleep

- Perceived or actual lack of progress

- A stagnant training regime

- Extended periods of unhealthy eating

- Unwanted responsibility

- Lack of a plan

- Focusing on too many things at once

As a further exercise, I've hi-lighted those that are currently "in play" above.  There might possibly be some argument that some of the things I have left UN-highlighted are still relevant or perhaps always present or available in the background.  But I have only highlighted those that I feel I am actively experiencing (or utilizing) right now to the degree that I normally do.  I'm sure I could continue to add more, to both sides, and perhaps get more and more specific, but for the purpose of this blog, I think I've established a good idea of what my triggers are.

One thing I'm disappointed about it is that I knew that a break in my routine would be a trigger.  I blogged about it!  By recognizing it in advance, I guess I thought I could simply avoid it.  But I failed to address it head on with a plan, and so it still wreaked havoc.

Now that these are on paper, I can see that I've got quite a few things working against me at the moment, and not enough things working for me.  There will likely always be 1-2 things that will be going against me at any given time, but when they start to pile up, and if they last an extended period of time, even the most positive attitude I can muster will eventually succumb.  And it obviously has.  

I suppose my next step here is to address and eliminate the things on my "bad" list.  There are definitely a few things on there that are directly in my control.  And if I look closely, by eliminating some of these from the bad list, they will automatically add something to the good.  Once I do that, then I'll have a look at my motivators and see how I can get more of those in play.

Regardless of how I managed to let these things pile up, or how I let my motivators slip away, the majority of these are in my control.  And having outlined these things above, I already feel better about moving forward.

Better Than Nothing

As is the norm with pretty much all of us, I've been struggling with some injuries.  Nothing serious keeping me on the couch....but some that have prevented me from practicing my kicks, specifically.  I'm the type that will try and "push through" a minor injury until it eventually goes away, but something currently tells me I need to back off.  So I have been trying to let things heal, while moving my efforts to other areas of my training where these ailments don't seem to be bothered too much.

It's funny (not funny) though.  Being that I CAN'T practice my kicks right now, I just really, really WANT to.  I think about them all the time....obsessively almost.  And there is some anxiety that once I get back to normal, any progress I had made previously, will have disappeared.  So I find myself practicing my kicks in my mind.  Running through the mechanics.  Literally doing "reps" like I would physically.  Really driving into my head what I should be doing to, where I'm driving the kick from, the timing, the pivot, the release of energy, my intent....all of it.  There are also still some small things that I can do even when just sitting at my desk....flexing my foot as if throwing a front thrust...practicing my blade...small things like that.  I don't know if it's helping anything...or if it will keep me from losing the physical progress I've made....but it makes me feel a little better to be doing something at least.  I feel like something, however small, and even if it's just in my head, is still better than nothing.

What May NOT Have Been

I realized today that I have been a student at Silent River during the pandemic longer than I was prior to it.  I attended in person, "normal" classes for about 4 1/2 months before the first shutdown.  It has now been roughly 9 1/2 months of "pandemic" training.  Granted, some of that was able to happen at the Kwoon, but even so, was still very different than the norm.  And although others might have a different perspective, I feel that I've been really fortunate.  The pandemic itself is terrible, obviously....but I am certainly grateful for many things that resulted because of it.

I have had the privilege of being exposed to so much more information than I likely would have been otherwise.  Without the pandemic, the livestream classes and the 1-on-1's wouldn't even exist.  The amount of information I have gathered and accumulated from those two resources has propelled my training forward in an exponential way.  Although there were times I felt overwhelmed with the shear amount of information, once I figured out how to utilize and categorize it, I found myself wanting more.  And there was always more available.  

With every new livestream there were things I'd never done...never heard of.  Lao Gar 2&3, Broadsword and too many combinations, applications and techniques to list.....I have to wonder if I would have been exposed to any of this, at this point in my training, if not for the livestream classes.

With the 1-on-1's, not only have I been able to expand on that extra knowledge and go into further detail, but I've also been able to develop some personal relationships with the Sifus.  That, in itself, has been extraordinary.  Further to that, because of the increased online presence, I've made relationships with other students...many not in my core class.  Again, I'm not sure this would have happened, as quickly, by only attending typical weekly classes.

The opportunity to delve into Tai Chi has also been invaluable.  The benefits that correspond to our main Kung Fu curriculum are infinite.  Would I have tried it had it not been offered as a bonus during the pandemic?  I don't know.  Likely not, simply due to time constraints.  But there's no way I can give it up now.

Again, I don't intend to downplay the hardships many have faced with the pandemic.  But if there were a silver lining within it somewhere, my opportunities with Kung Fu would definitely be it.  If the pandemic hadn't happened, I don't think I would be where I am today with my Kung Fu.

Thankful

I enjoy Christmas.  This year is a little different being that we won’t have any extra family around.  But I’m sort of looking forward to just being with Dan and the kids.  

I’m always a bit more thankful around this time.  Not that I’m not thankful all year, but there’s something about this time of year that allows me to see a little clearer. I know I have been very fortunate.  And I empathize with others who have not been as lucky.  I recognize that one different decision, one different happenstance, one different incident, and my life could be completely altered.  The difference between the life I am leading, and the one being lead by someone less fortunate, could be as simple as taking a left, rather than a right.  I know this, and I am thankful.

*Thought I'd share this years' Christmas card.  Dan and I have been doing "spoofy" cards since 2007 when I realized there was no getting rid of him.  ;)

Idle Hands

I'm seeing many people blogging about how they are looking forward to this holiday break because they'll have alot more opportunity, and time, to train.  I, unfortunately, am the opposite.  These types of breaks are what can often throw me off my game.  I have learned that I thrive in structure.  The more accountability the better.  More often than not, the less "spare" time I have, the more I actually seem to get accomplished.  When you throw a bunch of extra time at me, in an unstructured way, I have no idea what to do.  I end up wasting it.  I even end up neglecting the things I normally do because I initially feel that I have all the time in the world to do it.  But then suddenly I don't.  

I need a purpose.  I need accountability.  Holidays and time off do not provide those.  No work.  No classes.  No Tai Chi.  No Q&As.  No meetings.  No challenges.  No commitments.  No timelines.  No deadlines.  No quotas.  Nobody to check in with.  Nobody to report to.  So it really doesn't matter what I do or don't accomplish.  There are many things I CAN do, but there's nothing I HAVE to do.

I do have a 1-on-1 booked for each week and hopefully that will keep me somewhat grounded and accountable.  And maybe recognizing that this has been an issue in the past will help me avoid getting de-railed.

Needless to say, I am actually really nervous about all this time off.

Kung Fu In Real Life

We all know there are a ton of benefits to Kung Fu. Self defense. Confidence.  Empathy.  Leadership skills. Health.  And many, many more.  

And I’m sure we all wonder if any of this will actually “kick in” during a real life situation. How will we respond when we need to make a quick decision?  Will we react instinctively?   Will we know what to do when a situation presents itself?  

Well.  I had my first real life experience using a physical component of Kung Fu.  Three assailants were chasing me through my house.  One 6’3” burly guy and his 2 ferocious, feral sidekicks.  They were attempting to instigate a tickle fight.  So I ran.  

Eventually I made it to the bathroom, where I was able to shut the door.  All 3 of them pushed against the door several times, to no avail.  It wouldn’t budge.  Not even an inch.  Even I, myself, was confused that I was able to hold them off.  And in all honesty, I wasn’t even exerting myself.  Eventually they gave up and left, in search of a bedtime snack. It was at that moment that I wondered “How I was able to hold the door all alone?”  There were 3 of them...1 of me.  I then realized I was holding the door in a perfect, beautiful bow stance...my back foot connected solidly to the earth. I hadn’t even thought about it.  I just did it.  And it worked.

Now I know this is a humorous story, and I wasn’t in any actual danger...but it still feels kinda cool that I knew what to do in that moment...that my body knew what to do...and I did it without thinking about it.  

Looks like things are starting to stick.