Kung Fu'ing My Kids - Part 1 of...

Venting in a humorous way often helps me cope with difficult situations.  If I can find a way to laugh, big issues will often become much smaller.  At the very least, it helps me not feel quite so overwhelmed and allows me to clear my head.

Hence this blog.

I wish I knew what I was doing when it comes to my kids.  I wish there were a manual to follow.

But I don't.  And there isn't.  So I'm making this up as I go along.  But if someone actually does have a manual please let me know.

As a practicing martial artist, I am able to recognize many benefits of Kung Fu.  I've experienced some of these personally.  For the many, many others, I don't have to look very far to I see how it's shaped many young people into some really amazing adults.  And I want that for my kids.

But man I hate fighting.  I hate the crying.  I hate the complaining.  

So I've tried to come up with some different "go to" responses to avoid a fight...or limit the amount of fighting involved....or to just keep my sanity.

Here are the most popular.  But don't be fooled...these interactions rarely play out in just 3 "lines".  More often than not we run through all of these, and more, in one occurrence.  But I didn't think a complete depiction was necessary.  In any event, if you're a parent or a caregiver...or if you were ever a child....I think you'll be able to imagine (re-live?) the full length versions fairly accurately.

Please note that I've used various alias' so as to not pinpoint any particular child and to protect their privacy...as any decent parent would.

Bathan:  But I don't want to do Kung Fu! (angry)
Mom:  Not an option.  Go get your uniform on.
Bathan:  (puts on uniform still angry)

Gathan:  But I don't want to go to Kung Fu. (crying)
Mom:  You're going.  Go happy or go sad...your choice.  Either way, you're still going.  Now go get your uniform on.
Gathan:  (puts on uniform still crying)

Dathan:  But I don't want to...
Mom:  GO GET YOUR UNIFORM ON!
Dathan:  (puts on uniform in alarm)

Zathan:  But Kung Fu is boring.  I don't want to do Kung Fu.  (whining)
Mom:  Well if you don't want to do Kung Fu you'll have to call Sifu Brinker and talk to him.
Zathan:  (puts on uniform in fear)

Now I don't like to use the last one unless I absolutely have to.  I'm a stickler for following through on my "threats" and I'm fairly certain that eventually, the response will be "Fine...pass me the phone."   Although come to think of it....I wouldn't mind hearing that conversation.

My point is that every time I think we've gotten past the "I don't want to go" phase, it rears it's ugly head once again.  And although sometimes it feels like I'm barely hanging on....that it would be so much easier to give in.....I remind myself of all the benefits to Kung Fu, many of which are still to come.  I remind myself that Kung Fu is going to help me raise these kids into decent, kind, confident human beings that will make a positive impact on this world.

Then I get myself into my best possible mental bow stance...and prepare myself for a battle of wills.......with a 5 year old.