Further to the "I don't want to..." conflicts....kids will often develop new "quirks" as they grow and change. This too adds another challenging aspect to keeping them engaged.
When we first switched to online classes, it was a bit of a novelty and everything was fine. After a bit, the novelty wore off. It became distracting to be at home and easy to let their minds wander, forgetting they were still in a real class. Engagement became a struggle so I started doing the classes with them and utilized the 1-on-1's. Things seemed to be going okay (more or less) once we got into a rhythm.
Eventually we were allowed back at the Kwoon. My daughter, almost immediately, moved up to Black Dragons and my son continued in Tiny Tigers...but as a parented class due to restrictions. It became apparent that my son had developed some new aversions since the shutdown. He complained that he had to do the class with other students. He only wanted to have class with Sifu Vantuil....although I can't really blame him...lol. It appeared he had become used to the 1-on-1 atmosphere, the quieter home classes, not seeing the other students, etc, etc. In addition, and although he was always somewhat sensitive to loud noises (Kee-YA!!) he seemed much more bothered by them now. To the point it would bring him to tears. He was having a much harder time listening and paying attention, likely because he had become accustomed to me repeating the instructions and showing him what he should be doing. So although I thought I was making the right move by doing the class with him at home, I'm no longer sure. It was as if he had lost all the independence and confidence he had acquired. These classes became quite stressful for me. I was always "at the ready" to calm him down, keep him engaged, encourage him to keep going. It was exhausting. I hoped that the transition back to unparented classes was going to be the fix, but I was wrong. He was unable to cope with these new aversions without me beside him and he became lost, flustered and overwhelmed. I watched the livestream during the first unparented class and I had to shut it off. It was too hard to watch. And then we were shutdown again.
We've been back online now for a while now, so we're back to quieter classes at home and 1-on-1's. I'm doing the classes with him still because that seems to keep him engaged, for the most part. But I fear the after effects and I do not anticipate a smooth transition once we return again.
I will be really excited when we are allowed back at the Kwoon.
I will be really anxious when we are allowed back at the Kwoon.
Change, no matter what that change is, is always difficult. Two steps forward, one step backward is the nature of mastery. Independence is part of that.
ReplyDeleteOur comfort zone is in constant flux, easily affected by all the diverse aspects of our lives. Everything is connected so there are going to be times when we need a helping hand and others where we are the ones offering the helping hands.
Any step backward when it comes to comfort zone is not always directly related to where that backward step takes place. Nathan needing more attention and help is a reflection of the contraction of his comfort zone. That contraction can be based upon complexities that we are not even aware of or it could be as simple as 'change is difficult'. Either way, stepping back is not always negative. Sometimes it is just an indication of growth.
No matter what, stepping back is frustrating and challenging - especially mentally. Knowing that and acknowledging it goes a long way in being better able to cope with it.