Desiderata

There is a poem that would hang in my aunts kitchen.  Some of you may be familiar with it.  For those that are not, I’ve included it below. It was there before I was born.  And it still hangs there today.  Even as a small child, I remember being drawn to it.  I couldn’t really tell you why.  I’m not sure I ever truly understood the words.  But it was so obviously important to me that, about 20 years ago, my aunt eventually had a copy printed and framed for me.  I kept it with me through many moves and many life changes, and it now hangs in my kitchen, just as the original hangs in my aunts. 

It has been a very long time since I read it in its entirety.  Very long....years.....and the words all but forgotten.  But tonight, for some reason, I stopped and read it in full.  And tears came to my eyes.  A huge feeling of euphoria came over me.  I have carried these words with me for almost my whole life, never truly understanding them, but somehow knowing they were important for me.  And today, they suddenly make sense.  I’m where I’m supposed to be and I’m doing what I’m supposed do. 

Little By Little

I find myself noticing the finer details recently; in my forms, techniques, applications, everywhere really.

"Wait...something's not quite right..." or "I think this could be better..." will suddenly pop into my head.

Unfortunately, when this happens, it tends to take up most of my training time....and I'm left with many other things undone.  But, assuming I can figure out what my internal voice is trying to tell me, it can also be very productive....so I normally roll with it.

Da Mu Hsing, "Flexible Hip with Hidden Distance" - as I rotated my hips, I was also lifting up.  Almost a bounce.  It was enough that each time I rotated, I had to re-ground myself again.  And I didn't think this was totally necessary.  After making some adjustments, and even though my feet are pivoting, I realized I could maintain my center and remain grounded throughout this whole sequence rather than it be so choppy.  I can also now feel the force coming from my hips (lower half) into my upper half, really launching those punches and counters.  It almost seems like my energy builds up to that last punch.

Stick Form - there are 3 spots in this form where we pull back into a cat with a vertical stick (hiding), and then strike forward horizontally.  I noticed that my strike had an upward arc to it.  I've been doing it this way from the start, but I found myself thinking that this couldn't be the most effective way to strike.  I tend to think that it would have greater impact if it went straight into my target...for this type of strike anyways.  I made a small adjustment so that I now level my stick horizontally prior to striking, without sacrificing the flow.  I'm also finding that it lends more momentum to the strike.

Front Thrust Kick - I've really been experimenting with this kick.  The Front Thrust would probably be my strongest kick at this stage in the game, so I like to "see what happens" when I do certain things.  Most recently I've been trying to really drive this kick forward...experimenting with my range.  In doing this, I will compensate slightly by leaning my upper body back....elongating somewhat.  My kick itself, remains strong....and I think I've been successful in achieving a little bit more range.  But the other day I realized I was feeling a bit off balance coming back into my bow stance.  Once I analyzed a bit, I discovered that I was still leaning back when going back into my bow stance.  I was falling back rather than being in control.  I adjusted by ensuring that while pulling my kick back into a crane, I was also straightening that lean and re-centering over my hips.  By doing so I was, once again, able come back into my bow in a controlled way.

Those are a few examples of what I've noticed recently.  But I'm always re-working, re-thinking, re-adjusting.....so I reserve the right to change my mind on any of this stuff as I progress. 😂😂

The Hip-finale

Well here they are. The final results of my 21 Day Hip Challenge.

Consistent action breeds results....hang on....I feel like I've heard that before somewhere....😉

I plan to continue with this type of stretching for 15 minutes a day and make it part of my daily life.  It has obviously worked for me.  I'm also going to do the February challenge that's coming up.  After that I should have a really good library of stretches to continue on in a regular capacity.

My pics below show the start, middle and end.  And so you have the proper context, these are all post-stretching.  So they are accurate comparisons, but I do not wake up able to touch my toes.....yet.

My Crane

I'm currently working on my crane stance.  

That may sound odd, because I'm not sure there are many people that need to work on this, but I definitely do.

One of my weak points is my balance...and my grounding; my ability to be grounded, to stay grounded and to re-ground when required.  This weakness causes problems in a whole bunch of areas...one of which is my kicks.  I think that one of the reasons I have such difficulty with staying strong and grounded with my kicks is the fact that I'm not strong and grounded to start with.  I want to be able to get into a crane stance, and not be forced to throw a kick before I'm really ready because I literally might topple over if I don't.  I want my kick to be on my terms.  I'd like to be able to get into a crane stance, and have the ability to change my course of action if need be.  I'd like to be able to get into a crane stance, and be stable enough to defend myself even on one leg.

I realize this issue is likely not solely linked to my crane stance.  And I know this is also something that will improve over time with consistent practice.  But if there are things I can do to help things along, then I'll give it a shot!

And so....I am working on my crane stance.

Kung Fu'ing My Kids - Part 3 of...

I got the kids both sticks for Christmas.  Actually Emma got a Stick and Nathan an Escrima.

I was somewhat surprised that on Christmas morning, when they saw them, they literally jumped over the other presents to get to them.   Surprised...and kinda proud.

Before anything else, they took them to our training area...proceeded to whack the heavy bags repeatedly (thankfully not each other)....placed them carefully on the mats...and THEN tore into the rest of their gifts.

Since then, they continue to "practice" every so often....mostly before classes....but sometimes just when they feel like it.  

And I count this as a win.

Kung Fu'ing My Kids - Part 2 of....

Further to the "I don't want to..." conflicts....kids will often develop new "quirks" as they grow and change.  This too adds another challenging aspect to keeping them engaged.

When we first switched to online classes, it was a bit of a novelty and everything was fine.  After a bit, the novelty wore off.  It became distracting to be at home and easy to let their minds wander, forgetting they were still in a real class.  Engagement became a struggle so I started doing the classes with them and utilized the 1-on-1's. Things seemed to be going okay (more or less) once we got into a rhythm.

Eventually we were allowed back at the Kwoon.  My daughter, almost immediately, moved up to Black Dragons and my son continued in Tiny Tigers...but as a parented class due to restrictions.  It became  apparent that my son had developed some new aversions since the shutdown.  He complained that he had to do the class with other students.  He only wanted to have class with Sifu Vantuil....although I can't really blame him...lol.  It appeared he had become used to the 1-on-1 atmosphere, the quieter home classes, not seeing the other students, etc, etc.  In addition, and although he was always somewhat sensitive to loud noises (Kee-YA!!) he seemed much more bothered by them now.  To the point it would bring him to tears.  He was having a much harder time listening and paying attention, likely because he had become accustomed to me repeating the instructions and showing him what he should be doing.  So although I thought I was making the right move by doing the class with him at home, I'm no longer sure.  It was as if he had lost all the independence and confidence he had acquired.  These classes became quite stressful for me.  I was always "at the ready" to calm him down, keep him engaged, encourage him to keep going.  It was exhausting.  I hoped that the transition back to unparented classes was going to be the fix, but I was wrong.  He was unable to cope with these new aversions without me beside him and he became lost, flustered and overwhelmed.  I watched the livestream during the first unparented class and I had to shut it off.  It was too hard to watch.  And then we were shutdown again.

We've been back online now for a while now,  so we're back to quieter classes at home and 1-on-1's.  I'm doing the classes with him still because that seems to keep him engaged, for the most part.  But I fear the after effects and I do not anticipate a smooth transition once we return again.

I will be really excited when we are allowed back at the Kwoon.  

I will be really anxious when we are allowed back at the Kwoon.

Restoring the Balance

About a week and a half ago, I was challenged with determining my different triggers for motivation, or lack there of.  I was feeling a bit foggy, mentally, so the exercise was intended to pinpoint the reason(s) why.  I covered this in a previous blog, so you may remember that the number of active "bad triggers" greatly outnumbered the active "good triggers".  I have since restructured various things and am back in a really great space and frame of mind.  The following is that same list of triggers, but I've updated the hi-lighting to show which are in play right now.  Those marked with an asterisk had been hi-lighted during the original exercise.  I can clearly see that I've restored the balance.  

I’ve also been able to recognize that the main trigger that led to the landslide of other de-motivators was the break in routine.  That one seemed to allow the others to creep in and take over.  I need to develop a plan for those temporary breaks to ensure that doesn’t happen again  

If anyone has been feeling this same way, I would highly recommend trying this exercise.  It made things so clear by putting pen to paper.  It also made it much easier to get back on track having a clear outline of what was working against me.

In general, the following are things that really motivate me,

- Specific goals with deadlines

- A well-rounded plan

- Group challenges

- Being accountable to others or having others relying on me

- Personal challenges...but I need someone else to share these with

- Taking part in special events

- Learning new information (forms, techniques, etc)

- Analyzing and breaking things down in order to understand the whole

- Being tested

- Motivating others

- Tracking numbers and hitting milestones

- Measurable progress

- Making key discoveries

- Organizing and planning challenges/events/etc

- Being told I can't

- Blogging (both writing and reading)

- Regular meetings or interactions with instructors/mentors

- Sharing in the success of those around me

- Making lists

- Reading

And in general, these are the things that sap my motivation,

- Breaks in routine*
- Injury or illness
- Ongoing external negative energy or influence*
- Excessive change/uncertainty*
- Personal or professional conflicts
- Long term lack of sleep
- Perceived or actual lack of progress
- A stagnant training regime*
- Extended periods of unhealthy eating*
- Unwanted responsibility*
- Lack of a plan*
- Focusing on too many things at once*

Yes They Are

Recently it seems like a certain lesson has been repeated quite often.  Or perhaps I'm just noticing it more as a Yellow belt.  This particular lesson is how, as we make our way up to higher and higher belt levels, the expectations increase as well.  

We can't do Da Mu Hsing the same at Blue as we did at Green.  We can't do a Roundhouse the same at Yellow as we did at White.  And this applies to every single form, technique, application...everything.

When the Sifus are talking to us about this, I find myself thinking...."Am I not progressing?"...."Should I be working harder?"...."Am I not doing enough?"..."Did this come up because of something I did, or didn't do?"...and a myriad of other questions.

I ultimately wonder "Are they are talking to me specifically?"...

And the answer is yes, they are. 

The Hip Bone's Connected to the.....

I have been doing daily hip opening exercises since Jan 1 for 15 minutes a day.  I'm hoping it will help me with an ongoing injury. balance, flexibility, grounding....as well as improve my kicks and other techniques....really there are many different reasons and benefits to this.  Your hips are connected to so many things.

The first pic was taken Jan 1 (left or top).  The 2nd pic is from Jan 11 (right or bottom).  Yes I realize I happen to be wearing the exact same clothes.  That was not planned.  Lol.

I had felt like there had been some improvement....but without these pics I never would have guessed to this degree.  Man I love progress pics!!!!

It's so important to track our progress somehow...seeing progress, any progress, is probably the #1 motivator for most of us.  If we can see it's working, we'll keep doing it. 

Kung Fu'ing My Kids - Part 1 of...

Venting in a humorous way often helps me cope with difficult situations.  If I can find a way to laugh, big issues will often become much smaller.  At the very least, it helps me not feel quite so overwhelmed and allows me to clear my head.

Hence this blog.

I wish I knew what I was doing when it comes to my kids.  I wish there were a manual to follow.

But I don't.  And there isn't.  So I'm making this up as I go along.  But if someone actually does have a manual please let me know.

As a practicing martial artist, I am able to recognize many benefits of Kung Fu.  I've experienced some of these personally.  For the many, many others, I don't have to look very far to I see how it's shaped many young people into some really amazing adults.  And I want that for my kids.

But man I hate fighting.  I hate the crying.  I hate the complaining.  

So I've tried to come up with some different "go to" responses to avoid a fight...or limit the amount of fighting involved....or to just keep my sanity.

Here are the most popular.  But don't be fooled...these interactions rarely play out in just 3 "lines".  More often than not we run through all of these, and more, in one occurrence.  But I didn't think a complete depiction was necessary.  In any event, if you're a parent or a caregiver...or if you were ever a child....I think you'll be able to imagine (re-live?) the full length versions fairly accurately.

Please note that I've used various alias' so as to not pinpoint any particular child and to protect their privacy...as any decent parent would.

Bathan:  But I don't want to do Kung Fu! (angry)
Mom:  Not an option.  Go get your uniform on.
Bathan:  (puts on uniform still angry)

Gathan:  But I don't want to go to Kung Fu. (crying)
Mom:  You're going.  Go happy or go sad...your choice.  Either way, you're still going.  Now go get your uniform on.
Gathan:  (puts on uniform still crying)

Dathan:  But I don't want to...
Mom:  GO GET YOUR UNIFORM ON!
Dathan:  (puts on uniform in alarm)

Zathan:  But Kung Fu is boring.  I don't want to do Kung Fu.  (whining)
Mom:  Well if you don't want to do Kung Fu you'll have to call Sifu Brinker and talk to him.
Zathan:  (puts on uniform in fear)

Now I don't like to use the last one unless I absolutely have to.  I'm a stickler for following through on my "threats" and I'm fairly certain that eventually, the response will be "Fine...pass me the phone."   Although come to think of it....I wouldn't mind hearing that conversation.

My point is that every time I think we've gotten past the "I don't want to go" phase, it rears it's ugly head once again.  And although sometimes it feels like I'm barely hanging on....that it would be so much easier to give in.....I remind myself of all the benefits to Kung Fu, many of which are still to come.  I remind myself that Kung Fu is going to help me raise these kids into decent, kind, confident human beings that will make a positive impact on this world.

Then I get myself into my best possible mental bow stance...and prepare myself for a battle of wills.......with a 5 year old.

Triggers

I've found myself in a bit of a cloudy mental state.  I'm still training.  But I'm making myself train, rather than wanting to train.  I've learned previously not to let myself stop the physical training, regardless of my mental state.  But you never want to leave anything left unchecked for too long.

It was suggested that I analyze this a bit further and try and see if I can put my finger on what is sapping my drive.  I've been challenged to determine the triggers that fuel my motivation, and the triggers that extinguish my motivation.  It will be important to recognize both.  So here we go.

In general, the following are things that really motivate me,

- Specific goals with deadlines

- A well-rounded plan

- Group challenges

- Being accountable to others or having others relying on me

- Personal challenges...but I need someone else to share these with

- Taking part in special events

- Learning new information (forms, techniques, etc)

- Analyzing and breaking things down in order to understand the whole

- Being tested

- Motivating others

- Tracking numbers and hitting milestones

- Measurable progress

- Making key discoveries

- Organizing and planning challenges/events/etc

- Being told I can't

- Blogging (both writing and reading)

- Regular meetings or interactions with instructors/mentors

- Sharing in the success of those around me

- Making lists

- Reading

And in general, these are the things that sap my motivation,

- Breaks in routine

- Injury or illness

- Ongoing external negative energy or influence

- Excessive change/uncertainty

- Personal or professional conflicts

- Long term lack of sleep

- Perceived or actual lack of progress

- A stagnant training regime

- Extended periods of unhealthy eating

- Unwanted responsibility

- Lack of a plan

- Focusing on too many things at once

As a further exercise, I've hi-lighted those that are currently "in play" above.  There might possibly be some argument that some of the things I have left UN-highlighted are still relevant or perhaps always present or available in the background.  But I have only highlighted those that I feel I am actively experiencing (or utilizing) right now to the degree that I normally do.  I'm sure I could continue to add more, to both sides, and perhaps get more and more specific, but for the purpose of this blog, I think I've established a good idea of what my triggers are.

One thing I'm disappointed about it is that I knew that a break in my routine would be a trigger.  I blogged about it!  By recognizing it in advance, I guess I thought I could simply avoid it.  But I failed to address it head on with a plan, and so it still wreaked havoc.

Now that these are on paper, I can see that I've got quite a few things working against me at the moment, and not enough things working for me.  There will likely always be 1-2 things that will be going against me at any given time, but when they start to pile up, and if they last an extended period of time, even the most positive attitude I can muster will eventually succumb.  And it obviously has.  

I suppose my next step here is to address and eliminate the things on my "bad" list.  There are definitely a few things on there that are directly in my control.  And if I look closely, by eliminating some of these from the bad list, they will automatically add something to the good.  Once I do that, then I'll have a look at my motivators and see how I can get more of those in play.

Regardless of how I managed to let these things pile up, or how I let my motivators slip away, the majority of these are in my control.  And having outlined these things above, I already feel better about moving forward.

Better Than Nothing

As is the norm with pretty much all of us, I've been struggling with some injuries.  Nothing serious keeping me on the couch....but some that have prevented me from practicing my kicks, specifically.  I'm the type that will try and "push through" a minor injury until it eventually goes away, but something currently tells me I need to back off.  So I have been trying to let things heal, while moving my efforts to other areas of my training where these ailments don't seem to be bothered too much.

It's funny (not funny) though.  Being that I CAN'T practice my kicks right now, I just really, really WANT to.  I think about them all the time....obsessively almost.  And there is some anxiety that once I get back to normal, any progress I had made previously, will have disappeared.  So I find myself practicing my kicks in my mind.  Running through the mechanics.  Literally doing "reps" like I would physically.  Really driving into my head what I should be doing to, where I'm driving the kick from, the timing, the pivot, the release of energy, my intent....all of it.  There are also still some small things that I can do even when just sitting at my desk....flexing my foot as if throwing a front thrust...practicing my blade...small things like that.  I don't know if it's helping anything...or if it will keep me from losing the physical progress I've made....but it makes me feel a little better to be doing something at least.  I feel like something, however small, and even if it's just in my head, is still better than nothing.