My Kwan Dao

I have begun training with my Kwan Dao.  Now that I'm really swinging it around, I can see already that this is going to be a very difficult weapon to master.  It's long, heavy and unbalanced and can easily become out of control.  Any disconnect between upper/lower, left/right...or any of the 6 harmonies for that matter, and it begins to control me.  Add any bit of momentum to its size and weight, and if I'm even slightly out of my center, I'm chasing it.  Any bit of over extension, or handling it even somewhat off balance...and my shoulders scream.  Errors or missteps are magnified a thousand times.  There is no forgiveness with the Kwan Dao...no middle ground.

Yet I find myself eager and excited.  Every challenge I've listed above, if I can overcome it, is also going to be an essential asset to my overall training.  There is no way around it, this weapon is going to force me to develop proper posture, keep my shoulders down and maintain my center.  It's going to make strength training a necessity.  I will have no choice but to keep my eye for detail open...always looking.  It will demand that my 6 harmonies come together....that I always proceed with intent and mindfulness.

Although this weapon and I are currently at odds...fighting with each other...each of us trying to establish control...I feel that we will become good friends.

Year of the Rabbit - Personal Requirements

I have found that the best way for me to remain both accountable and motivated, and also true and honest, is to share. By putting my intentions, my progress, my successes, my failures...all in writing...all transparent...good or bad....my team knows exactly where I am...and more importantly, I know exactly where I am.

And so with that being said, here are my final, and approved, Year of the Rabbit requirements.

My “theme” for my forms is the harmony between chi/strength.

1. Hand Form – Tai Chi Short Form (school form) – Success Coaches – Sifu Dennis, Sihing Vantuil
2. Weapon Form – Kwan Dao (personal form)

Personal Goals

1. Once a month family game/movie night.
2. CARRY FORWARD - Lion/Dragon Dance Drumming - learn to play a full lion dance with the ultimate goal of playing for a demo. – I’m setting myself a goal of a minimum of 30 minutes per week. Success Coach - Sifu Rybak
3. Continue with my Chi exploration. This past year I found a lot of success by allowing my experiences to guide me rather than defining specific goals. I intend to continue in this manner, with an added focus of putting in writing some of the different things I’ve experienced and learned, in a manner that could possibly be used by others that are looking to develop more in this area. Success Coach – Sifu Brinker
4. Establish an online “store” or presence for my pottery.
5. Daily blogging. My intent here is to develop a detailed and accurate record of my journey and also inspire daily reflection.
6. Weekly “mini” kick assessment – 15 seconds of each front thrust, side heel, roundhouse, spinning back kick – from each lead – to be recorded – my intent is to more closely monitor my progress with my kicks.

IHC FINAL Numbers - Year of the Tiger

My FINAL IHC Numbers - Year of the Tiger

Year of the Tiger - Feb 1, 2022 to Jan 21, 2023 (354 days)

You might notice that I removed the checkmarks and X's.  I'm approaching this a bit different in that I don't want to necessarily determine my success in such a black and white manner.  I realized here at the end of the year that I had too much focus on what I hadn't done, rather than what I had and my potential to "still do". 

Base Requirements

Hand Form - Dou Ti  957/1000

Weapon Form - Stick 1 and 2  932/1000

Push-ups  43,690/50,000  60,000

Sit-ups  43,636/50,000  60,000

Sparring  858/1000

Kilometers 1812/1609

Acts of Kindness 1022/1000

Blogging/Online Presence - check

Unexcused Absences - check

Mastery by Stewart Emery - this could use more effort

Mend a Relationship - this went really well.  My siblings and I have been more consistently in touch all year and it's been really great.

Lion Dancing - Instructors call

Tiger Challenge - was not able to participate

Public Performances - check

Core Curriculum - Instructors call

SRKF Projects and Initiatives - check

Personal Requirements

Learn how to reclaim my pottery clay - nope

Establish a 15 minute/2km run time - check

Box Jumps - check

Monthly date with Dan - check

Lion Dance Drumming *I will be carrying this forward to the Year of the Rabbit, with a more defined plan and goal

Weekend Kung Fu Training with Kids - this went decently well I think

Chi Development - check

3 x 1 Month "Clean Eating Challenge" - nope.  

Record Numbers of all known forms.  There is no specific number I'm trying to reach.  My personal requirement is simply to record them. - check

• Awakening the Dragon = 33
• Broadsword 1-2 = 25
• Da Mu Hsing 1-5 = 89
• Hsieh Chien = 40
• Lao Gar 1-3 = 70
• Long 1 = 34
• Hung 1-2 = 50
• 18 Temple Motions = 44

I AM Project 19/30

I AM Grateful

I have had the tremendous privilege, this year, of being Todai Burke's partner for her five applications.  I have to say....if you are ever given an opportunity to be a partner, take it.  I repeat....take it...and absorb everything you can in the process.  The stuff I've learned, the things I've felt, the hits I've taken...the bumps...the bruises....have all given me just that much more insight into the martial arts.  And every bit of insight will make me just that much better than I would have been without it.  Every opportunity is a gift and a blessing. And I am grateful for every one.

Just Bare With Me

This is one of those blogs that I always worry will make no sense. When I speak or blog about energy, chi, the 6 harmonies, it can be very difficult to find the right words.  And I think we all have very different vocabularies.  I also worry that I'm at such a rudimentary level in my exploration of such things, that I'm likely completely wrong about everything anyways.  And from one day to the next I'll be changing my mind about what I know...what I think...or what I think I know.  Lol.  So please, just bare with me as I drag you along.

I’ve been working on a couple things in Tai Chi that I’ve recently been able to connect directly to my Kung Fu. 

The first is that I've been trying to consistently keep my center lowered.  Initially, this meant keeping myself physically lowered.  Meaning nice bent knees...nice relaxed shoulders.  And when doing this I noticed a tremendous improvement in my stability.  But I also started to notice that sometimes, even though I might have small physical shifts up and down, I can still often stay grounded.  I think I've mostly used the terms grounded and centered interchangeably, but maybe that's not quite accurate.  Sorry, I started off on a tangent there that I'm not quite prepared to go on yet.  So we'll just leave this here for now.

The other direction I had been given was to focus on driving a technique from my hips, rather than simply using my arms/hands.  Even though my hands are the completion of the technique, they are not what initiates it or drives it.  It was very enlightening when I made this shift.  I realized that I was very disconnected between my upper and lower halves.  In fact, I learned almost immediately that when I brought everything through my hips, I seemed to shift off, physically, on a diagonal for some reason.  When I stayed true to the course I had set, it just seemed to be where I wanted to go.  After some further exploration, I eventually realized my Toyu stance was too wide, and I had been countering that by simply redirecting everything with my hands.  I was basically forced to disconnect from my feet/knees/hips in order to get the end result I wanted with my hands/elbows/shoulders.  But then, of course, I lost everything in between.  Only when I focused on remaining true to the connections within the 6 harmonies, did I realize that something was off.  I wasn't getting the result I wanted, but by working back, I realized the error was right at the start, with my stance.  Now I don't think this means that you can't shift gears or make adjustments when needed, but I do think it means that a technique will be that much stronger, that much more pure, if you can remain true to it from start to finish.

Anyhow, these things above will take alot more exploration.  But my original point with this blog was that these things came firing into my mind while working on the ball throws, double knife hands and the tiger claws in Lao Gar 3.  When I utilized what I learned above from Tai Chi, everything started to come together a little bit better.

Little By Little

It struck me the other day, watching the kids’ classes, how much they’ve improved.  Even the “little” things like push-ups and sit-ups. There was a time, not long ago, that several of the kids needed us to hold their feet so they could actually manage a single sit-up.  Or we had to really encourage them to push themselves to keep going with a few push-ups, not letting themselves fall.  And suddenly, the other day, I realized that hardly anyone asked for, or needed our help.  Was their technique perfect?  No.  But they pushed themselves, without complaint, and I found myself feeling really proud of them.  

I find this improvement, over the last year or so, really exciting and encouraging, not just for them, but for myself.  If these kids are making this kind of improvement, simply by attending their classes and having the occasional 1-on-1, I have to assume that these little bits of improvement are also happening for me.  Get to class.  Do the work.  And little by little…

Me Thinks

I was looking up the Lao Gar livestream video for a student the other day.  When I found it, I didn't just want to reference the video, but also wanted to let them know approximately when the form started.

I'm so glad I did.  I ended up watching it myself, and I was flabbergasted at how different it looked to me than I remembered.  I was noticing tiny little details that I'm sure I hadn't noticed previously.  Watching the video I even found myself "feeling" the form.  Meaning, not only did I notice little physical details...but I found myself thinking "I think that part should feel like that".  Maybe a better way to explain this is that I felt like I could really see the 6 harmonies in action.  In a way that I can even try to apply this to my own forms.  Yea, I know that maybe doesn't make sense...but it does to me!  Lol.

And this was only Lao Gar 1.

Me thinks it's time to go and watch some more of these videos to see what new things I can discover.

Re-thinking

Last nights' class has got me thinking once again about my side heel.  I've come to terms with the fact that my kicks will always be something that I really have to work at.  I mean, I have to work at everything...but kicks will always need that extra attention.  But I was really starting to think I was seeing some improvement.  Last nights' lesson has me re-thinking that.  I think I might be someone that is kicking from the knee...starting with more of a roundhouse and changing it to a side heel.  I think maybe I had a false sense of improvement because I put more of a band-aid on it, fixing my stability somewhat, and was seeing THAT as progress.  But truthfully, I really don't know.  It's probably time for a video and a one-on-one.

Sharing Is Caring

One of the most challenging personal requirements I've made for the Year of the Rabbit is to blog every day.  My intent here is to develop a more detailed record of my journey and to also inspire daily reflection.  I know there are lots of little tidbits that are being lost because I'm not taking that moment at the end of the day to reflect on what I did and what I learned.  I do make a point of jotting down the things that I think are truly important, but I think there are many "little" things that are being overlooked.  Things that may not seem important today, but could be tomorrow.  Things that I might be taking for granted.

I don't expect every day to be Pulitzer prize winning material.  In fact, I would expect (and you should too 😉) that most of it will be drab and boring.  Because of that, I have not yet decided whether I will post everything to the team page, or if I'll only post the ones I think are worthwhile.  Perhaps I might just pick the one I think is the best for the week and just share that one to the team page.  Either way, every last one will be made public on my actual blog page, and so anyone that actually follows my blog will still be able to see everything I post on their reading list.

Having said all that, you will likely start to see some more frequent postings from me.  I want to try and get into a rhythm before the big day actually rolls around.  So if you find yourself wondering "why is she sharing THIS?"...well, it's because I'm about to start sharing everything.  And hopefully, overall, this will serve me in a positive way.

Nailed It

For the first time in a long time I managed to get up as planned for some morning training.

It looked a little different this morning than it used to.  But I've learned that as I evolve and progress, I need to let go of "used to".  So I didn't want to have a "checklist" of everything I HAD to get done in order for the morning to be a success.  I gave myself 30 minutes to do whatever I wanted, but also pushed myself to use that time to it's fullest.  It went well.  Some upper body weight training, crunches, a few forms, followed by some much needed meditation.  

But ultimately, the main goal for today was just to get my ass out of bed.

Nailed it.

Behind But Ahead

December was pretty dismal for me.  Embarrassingly dismal.  Which you'll see if you read my Number Update blog I've posted.  I found myself out of time, out of energy, out of momentum.  And my numbers suffered....badly.  

But the month was not a total loss.  I found myself making some important mental connections and having some really good internal conversations with myself.

There are a few thoughts, questions and realizations that came about that I thought were worth noting.

1.  Although I wasn't fulfilling my daily number quotas, I can be proud (at least a little bit) that I never succumbed to "why bother?" or "what's the point?".  I never allowed myself to do NOTHING.  However small, I always did at least one thing every day with intent and mindfulness.  Often more, because one sometimes became 2...or 3.  But even if that was all I could manage, it was at least one.  If this is something I can sustain on a regular basis wherever I might be, physically or mentally, literally or figuratively, then I will always be moving in the right direction.

2.  The classic "egg or chicken" dilemma.  Was I not keeping up with my training because I was tired and without any energy?  Or was I tired and out of energy because I wasn't keeping up with my training?  Food for thought.  And easy to test.

3.  I think I might finally understand why focusing on trajectory is more important than just numbers. I realized that when I look at our number requirements, I tend to look at "what I haven't done" rather than "what I have done".  Meaning, I will see the 4,000 pushups that I'm behind on, more clearly than the 40,000 pushups I've managed to accomplish.  And it became clear how this weakens me.  For example, if I manage only half of the pushup requirement every day for a week, by the end of that week, my focus is that I'm behind by 480 pushups (for those that like numbers, I'm using a 365 day calendar year in this example).  Two weeks...960.  A month...over 2000 behind!!  How do I catch up??  And if I can't catch up, then what's the point of doing any?  I eventually began to see how watching the negative number grow is debilitating.  It drags you down with it.  In actual fact, I should be looking at the over 2000 pushups I completed that month and simply work at getting THAT number grow.  There is no need to "catch up".  It's not a race.  It's betterment.  It's mastery.

I can acknowledge that this is likely the WORST training month I have had in the last 3 years.  And I felt myself getting down and feeling badly about all of it.  But by learning from others around me this past year, and taking to heart many of the team discussions we've had, I made a choice to put some conscious thought into what I was going through and what I was experiencing.  And that honest reflection resulted in some positive outcomes.

So although I'm "behind" I can now see that I've actually moved ahead.

IHC Number Update - January 6, 2022

 

My January IHC Update - Year of the Tiger

Year of the Tiger - Feb 1, 2022 to Jan 21, 2023 (354 days)

Base Requirements

❌ Hand Form - Dou Ti  928/1000

❌ Weapon Form - Stick 1 and 2  910/1000

❌ Push-ups  43,273/50,000  60,000

❌ Sit-ups  43,381/50,000  60,000

❌ Sparring  783/1000

✅ Kilometers 1737/1609

✅ Acts of Kindness 985/1000

✅ Blogging/Online Presence

✅ Unexcused Absences

➖ Mastery by Stewart Emery

✅ Mend a Relationship

➖ Lion Dancing - Instructors call

❌ Tiger Challenge

✅ Public Performances

➖ Core Curriculum - Instructors call

✅ SRKF Projects and Initiatives

Personal Requirements

➖ Learn how to reclaim my pottery clay

⭐ Establish a 15 minute/2km run time

⭐ Box Jumps

✅ Monthly date with Dan

❌ Lion Dance Drumming *I will be carrying this forward to the Year of the Rabbit, with a more defined plan and goal

✅ Weekend Kung Fu Training with Kids

✅ Chi Development

❌ 3 x 1 Month "Clean Eating Challenge" - this goal is a fail.  What's worse is that I honestly don't really care or feel all that bad.  I'm going to look back at this to see if I even learned anything.  

✅ Record Numbers of all known forms.  There is no specific number I'm trying to reach.  My personal requirement is simply to record them.

• Awakening the Dragon = 33
• Broadsword 1-2 = 25
• Da Mu Hsing 1-5 = 87
• Hsieh Chien = 38
• Lao Gar 1-3 = 63
• Long 1 = 34
• Hung 1-2 = 50
• 18 Temple Motions = 44

❌  I AM Project 18/30

A Wave

“Picture a wave.  In the ocean.  You can see it, measure it…it’s height…the way the sunlight refracts when it passes through.  

And it’s there.  You can see it.  You know what it is…it’s a wave.  

And then it crashes on the shore and it’s gone.  But the water is still there. The wave was just a different way for the water to be for a little while.

The wave returns to the ocean.  Where it came from.  And where it’s supposed to be.” - Chidi, The Good Place

This is probably the most beautiful way I’ve ever heard life, and death, described.  It’s also the one that seems to fit my spirit and allows me to be most at peace.