A long while back (July 10, 2021 to be exact) I journaled about how I was starting to really make some great progress with being more aware and more in control of my center. How I was starting to recognize and establish how everything seems to flow from and around it and how when I maintained that focus, it alleviated many problems I was feeling with balance and harmony. I recall continuing to work with this for a long time, making it a consistent part of my practice. Eventually, I think I got to a point where it was becoming more natural...easier...and so I slowly became less cognizant of my attention to it....and eventually let my focus shift to other things.
As with most things, when you stop paying attention and making a specific effort, progress that has built up can slowly dissipate. When it occurred to me this morning that this might be the issue, I pulled that focus back and knew right away that this had been why things felt off.
In the past I would have been frustrated or disappointed for wasting this time, while feeling like I had to start over. Instead, I found myself comparing this to meditation. When I sit and focus on my breathing, it is inevitable that my mind will wander. When I become aware that this has happened, I simply pull my focus back to my breathing and carry on. I don't get mad or frustrated...there is no point in that. It's natural that my mind will wander to other things.
This is essentially the same here, except instead of a few minutes of not realizing, it was weeks....maybe even months. Lol. But with continued practice, my hope is that eventually it will happen less and less...and even when it does, I will be quicker to realize.
Either way....whether it takes me seconds, or if it takes me years....there is still no need to be frustrated or upset. It serves no purpose. I just need to pull my focus back and carry on.
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