Kung Fu'ing My Kids Part 5 of...

I try to schedule my kids for 1-on-1's weekly.  I have found these to be a valuable supplement to their core classes.  They are able to establish a more personal relationship with their Sifus and it helps them to connect their Kung Fu life to their home life. Although it typically begins as such for most, I want them to eventually understand that Kung Fu isn't just an activity, but instead is something that has the potential to manifest into an integral part of their everyday life.  I see the value...and I want them to as well.  But, of course, this understanding typically comes with experience and age, and will carry more weight if they develop this connection with their Kung Fu, on their own.  

And so, in an effort to avoid any feelings of animosity or resentment, I try hard to prevent Kung Fu becoming a "chore" that they also have to do at home and try to be a little more "hands off" with things like 1-on-1s.  Depending on our home schedule, I will let them know who is available for them to meet with, and they are able to choose.  I also give them a reminder that their meeting is approaching and that they should think about what they'd like to work on. In typical child-like fashion, they leave this to the last second, and then there is panic and resistance about 4 seconds before they are to go live.

So for their last meetings, I tried something a bit different. Instead of just telling them to think about things, I suggested they actually make a list. I was somewhat surprised when it took them both about 45 seconds to come up with their list of 5 things that they wanted to work on or talk about. For some reason, the act of writing made the task easier for them.  I also found that the 1-on-1s themselves were incredibly productive.  The fact they had a plan prevented so much of the "um-ing" and "uh-ing" that normally takes place.  More so, I could visibly see their excitement and engagement at a much higher level then normal because, for 1), they were leading, and 2), they were confident because they had a plan ready.

Honestly, I don't know why this took me this long to think of.  I also don't know why I'm so surprised that it was this effective.  When I prepare for my own 1-on-1s I am fairly diligent with preparing topics or questions in advance.  Winging it once in a while can be fun and will sometimes inspire some valuable conversation.  But, more so, having a plan is always more beneficial.