A LEGO Christmas Tradition

One of my personal goals, that won’t be fulfilled, is taking the family on a surprise vacation.  Unfortunately, any funds I managed to save had to be used for some necessary home maintenance. 

Ms Kohut recommended that I re-evaluate this goal and determine the true intent behind it.  She suggested that there was perhaps another way I could still fulfill the intent, even if it was by a different means. 

After some thought, I realized that the true reason for this goal was to do something special for my family that would also result in some quality family time.  And, although the original idea of a vacation would have been fun, we don’t need to spend a lot of money or go far to make this happen.

Something all four of us enjoy is LEGO. And being the Christmas season, I found a Christmas themed set that we could all work on together.  I surprised the family with this on Christmas Eve, and we spent the day working on it, little by little.  Not only did we build LEGO, but more importantly, memories.  In fact, we decided, as a family, that this would be a tradition moving forward.  Each year we will add something new to our “LEGO Christmas Village” and will spend that time together every Christmas Eve.

There will always be obstacles in our path.  There will always be challenges in achieving our goals.  But if we are true to the spirit behind them, and if we are able, and willing, to adapt, we can still find success. So although I wasn’t able to fulfill the specifics of this goal, I did manage to fulfill the intent behind it.

Annoyed With Myself

I love the gravity yoga stretching.  I feel great doing them.  I feel great after them.  I've seen the long term positive benefits.

And I most certainly notice the negative effects when I'm not doing them.  Limited mobility.  Limited flexibility.  Limited range of motion.  Feeling tight and constricted.  More soreness.  More frequent pulls and injuries.

So why the heck can't I continue doing them the moment I'm not accountable to anyone?

Sifu Csillag and I finished the "happy back" stretching challenge in October.  And I haven't stretched since.

Is it because I don't have anyone to check in with?  Is it because I'm not accountable to anyone?

Whatever it is, it's ridiculous and I need to get past it.  If I make a commitment to myself I should be able to keep it.  Period.  I'm feeling really annoyed at myself that I can't seem to do that.

Dress For The Job You Want....

I was given a rare and incredible opportunity at a glimpse into the black belt grading recently.  And of course, I started to think about my own grading; what steps I need to take, what things I need to work and improve on, even ideas for my 5 applications and personal demo.  Yes, yes...I know...I've already played devil's advocate with myself and had the following internal conversation...

"Slow down there hot shot....you're an orange belt.  There's a long way to go before you need to worry about grading."

Followed by, 

"True.  But this isn't really about a specific day or a belt.  This is about who I want to be and how I want to live my life, so why would I wait to take action?"

I am not a Black Belt.  

But I don't think that's any reason for me not to act like one.

How It Looks vs How It Feels

Something we try to attain in our forms (and everything) is the 6 harmonies.  The connection between our upper and lower halves.  Our left to our right.  Hands-feet, elbows-knees, shoulders-hips, spirit-intent, intent-chi, chi-strength.

Although I have a long ways to go, I had thought I was starting to really embrace this.  When training at home, I don't have any mirrors, and so I typically pay more attention to how something feels, rather than how it might look.  And I had been feeling really good about the Tiger Claw portion in Lao Gar 3.  Yet when we practiced in class on Monday, I could see in the mirror how, physically, my heel was on the ground before my tiger claw finished.  This threw me a bit initially.  If I hadn't been in front of a mirror, I would have sworn everything was finishing at the exact same time.   Upon seeing this, I slowed it down and played with it a bit.  When I did this, I could certainly make the tiger claw and the heel connection end simultaneously....but it no longer felt the same internally.  

So here are the questions and thoughts now rolling around in my head,

Because this portion is circular in nature, rather than linear, will this change how I perceive "completion"?

Is this even something I should second guess?  Or should I just trust how I'm feeling and let it evolve naturally?

Is this something that changes as we progress?  Meaning, do we need to eventually allow our energy some influence and leeway?

And most importantly, can someone just give me all the answers?

Hold please....something just popped into my head.

Have a look at the attached picture.  The first one is how I've always "organized" my understanding of the 6 harmonies, because it just makes sense to create a list when we first get started.  But the second is what just flashed into my mind....and although it looks way more complicated...it actually makes way more sense.  It should probably actually be a 3D dynamic, rotating model....but I didn't have time to draft that up.  Lol.

It's Not You...It's Me

I'm going to be very honest with myself in this blog.  I don't know if it will serve a purpose other than feelings of shame...but we shall see I suppose.

A tremendous realization punched me in the face today when I saw Mr. Bauer's latest challenge.

If you haven't seen it yet, it is 25 reps of Da Mu Hsing.  As much as we know.  So being my IHC form, this means the full I-V.  And I almost had to laugh at the irony (almost) because my knee-jerk reaction was....What??  I have to do MORE Da Mu Hsing???

And so my confession is this....I'm just so tired of doing Da Mu Hsing.

Admitting this just now, by the way, did not make me feel any better.  Worse, in fact.  I feel shame and failure and I fear judgement.  This is my form!!  My beloved form.  I have worked so hard on this all year.  852 repetitions and counting.  I should embrace this form for everything it has given me...for all the progress I've made...but all I want to do is run off with Lao Gar...or Long...or Stick...or Hseih Chien...anything but Da Mu Hsing.

I need to re-ignite the spark.  How?  I don't know...but I better figure something out fast with the banquet fast approaching.

I'm so sorry Da Mu Hsing.  It's not you...it's me.

My Blogging Strategies

Sifu Csillag suggested in our meeting last night that we share our process when it comes to blogging.  I'm not sure I really have a specific step-by-step process, but I do have some different strategies...so here they are.

• I have a notebook that I bring to meetings to jot down anything that comes to mind during the discussions.  Sometimes these things end up being questions I ask in my 1-on-1s and sometimes they find their way into my blogs.  Sometimes both.
• I will use the "Notes" app on my phone in the same manner if it's more convenient.  Right after a class for instance.
• I have a large whiteboard in my training area as well.  Again, I will use this if it's more convenient.
• Every so often I compile all of these notes and ideas into a DRAFT blog (I use Blogger.com, but Word or a handwritten journal does the same thing).  This DRAFT blog currently contains about 12 partially started blogs, key words and/or ideas.  The reason I keep all of these things in one document to start with is because I often find that some of these things are related and they end up joining together (I do alot of cutting and pasting).  This also helps me keep all of my preliminary ideas in one place so that I don't accidentally lose one of them.
• Once I have formulated a decent start to a topic within my DRAFT, I will copy/paste that into it's own posting and continue to develop it there.
• I try to stay away from any kind of "deadline" and just write when the spirit moves me (when at all possible between work and kids).  As with any task, it's best not to leave it until the last moment.  Writing under pressure rarely works for me.
• If I don't feel like staring at a computer screen, I will dictate my thoughts verbally to my phone (using the microphone in the NOTES app).   It's a good way to get thoughts "on paper" that can be edited later.  This actually just sparked an alternative way to blog...with just an audio file.  Like a podcast (I think there are video podcasts as well, but I believe audio alone is more common).
• I try not to force a blog.  Those ones never turn out.  Sometimes a topic that I start will continue to completion at that same time.  Sometimes a topic is started, but develops over weeks or even months.  Another reason for the DRAFT.
• I initially just write.  Much of it is incomplete and often incoherent.  Most are just random sentences and thoughts.  But I worry about editing and putting it all together later.
• I don't worry about long or short, I just write.  When proofreading, I will delete extraneous or duplicated information or add more detail.
• I always edit and proof read for errors, grammar and spelling.  I don't catch it all, but I do catch most.
• I try to be descriptive for the reader, but my main goal is that my future self will understand it.
• I write what's on my mind even if I think it may not really be Kung Fu related.  It's all relevant to my journey.
• I will scroll through my blogs every so often and re-read the ones that seem to be relevant again.  Sometimes this sparks further ideas or insight.
• Every once in a while I will take the time to read the old blogs of the Sifus or current/past team-mates.  These date back a long ways and there is alot of content.  They say that a great way to develop writing is to read more.
• I write about everything, even if it might be really personal.  I have several finished blogs that I have never officially published, but that I wrote regardless.  They are still there for me and have provided valuable reflection.  Sharing is an important part of the process, but there will always be things I'm hesitant to put out there for everyone to see.  Maybe one day.  But even if I don't intend to share it, I still write it for me.  There are some that I've shared privately if I felt that I needed some feedback and perspective.

Blogging has been the most valuable tool in my arsenal.  It's not always easy, but the effort is well worth it.  It is the constant that continuously pushes me forward and keeps me engaged with my fellow students and instructors.

IHC Number Update - Dec 2

My December IHC Update

Base Requirements

✅ Hand Form - Da Mu Hsing I-V  831/1000

✅ Knife Form - Goju-Shorei Talon  832/1000

✅ Push-ups  41,608/50,000

✅ Sit-ups  41,692/50,000

✅ Sparring  828/1000

✅ Kilometers 1582/1609

✅ Acts of Kindness 839/1000

✅ Blogging/Online Presence

✅ Unexcused Absences

➖ Mastery by Stewart Emery

✅ Mend a Relationship

➖ Lion Dancing - I actually did my first lion dance yesterday with Mr. K Bjorkquist!  He did an excellent job.  Unfortunately I had no idea what I was doing most of the time...but it was fun!  I am thankful Sifu Lindstrom wasn't there as I'm certain he would have been constantly whacking me on the head with a stick to get down.  I was most definitely a camel.  Probably more like humpback whale.  😬

❌ Tiger Challenge

➖ Public Performances

➖ Core Curriculum - Instructors call

✅ SRKF Projects and Initiatives

Personal Requirements

✅ Weekly Dharma Talks

⭐ Pottery - Complete

➖ Box Jumps - I have still been doing different exercises in an effort to become friends with my box. Yesterday I was doing some faster switch steps and cracked my toes hard enough one started bleeding.  My box hates me.  

⭐ Learn how to change my car tires  - Complete.

➖ Learn how to change Oil

✅ Indoor Plant - I have continued to expand this goal.  My mom and I have recently attempted to propagate a Christmas Cactus she's had for about 50 years.  And I think I see some growth! 

❌ Save for Family Getaway - with the unexpected expenses we encountered, this won't be coming to fruition this year.

✅ Compliment Dan, Emma and Nathan at least once a day.

⭐ Children's book - Complete.

 

My 50000+ Piece Puzzle

Something I like to do is pose the same question to more than one Sifu.  It's not that I don't like the first answer, or that I think it's wrong, but rather that there can be a variety of answers to any given question.  How it's asked, when it's asked, under what circumstance it's asked, who I am asking, how they interpreted it, how I interpreted the answer, etc, etc,.....these all have a significant bearing on the answer given in that specific moment.  And each different answer can provide some really valuable insight.

I also find this beneficial because each of the Sifus have a different approach and a different perspective.  None are "more right" than the other....just different.  All valuable.  And every bit of information and every answer that I get adds yet another piece to this giant puzzle that I'm working on.  One that, unfortunately, didn't come with a picture to reference, so I really have no idea what I'm building....but I do know it's big.

As I attempt this massive build, I can see right away that some of these pieces have an obvious spot where they fit.  Mostly corners and sides.  Some are not obvious at all, and so they sit to the side waiting for more clues as to where they might go.  Some of the more special pieces will end up fitting into several different spots.  And yes, some may not end up fitting for me at all.  But I'll hang on to these pieces anyways...I have a feeling they may belong to someone else's puzzle.

When feeling stuck, it can be fun to randomly "test fit" different pieces, just to see what happens...and sometimes I'm even pleasantly surprised to find that they fit!!  I must admit that I also sometimes try to squish and force them together in frustration, even though I can tell right away that it's not working.  Because in all honesty, it feels like I'm doing more collecting than solving right now.  But I suppose, as with any puzzle, sometimes the best approach is to assemble, sort and organize the pieces before really going at it.  Except the frame...I can always work on that.