Half Empty

I do my best to focus on the positive.  I try to remind myself that it's a process and that every little bit of progress is moving me in the right direction.

But every once in a while I just can't seem to make the progress I want to make, regardless of the effort I put forth or the changes I make.

I've been feeling dissatisfied lately.  Specifically with my physical skill.  Yes I've made some progress with personal goals....energy....stretching...and I'm really happy with that.  But my technique and form...my actual physical ability in Kung Fu....really hasn't moved all that much for quite some time.  I took a couple progress videos over the last little bit and I honestly couldn't tell you which is better.

The saying is "2 steps forward, 1 step back".  For me, the past few months seem like "2 steps forward, 5 steps back".  I'll think I've figured something out....then lose it...find it....lose it....and so on.  I think it's this flip-flopping with my confidence that become so taxing on my spirit.

But I'll keep moving.  Any kind of movement will still be an opportunity to learn...and at least there's still a chance the movement will be forward, right?  Standing still will guarantee nothing at all.

This last bit just popped into my head and wasn't apparent when I starting writing.  But let's be honest...if my physical skill was on an upward trajectory...and my personal goals were in the dumps...then this blog, and my focus, would be on that.  So really this is probably more an issue with me focusing on what's not happening, rather than what is.  The glass appears to be half empty right now....which is sort of unlike me.  But reality is that everything can't always be on the upwards at the same time.