Out Of My League

This is one of those blogs that a person is hesitant to post.  It's the kind that leaves you feeling a little exposed....maybe a bit silly.  But if I'm going to do this, I need to do it fully and honestly.

I'm not going to lie.  Yesterday's Q&A left me feeling somewhat....dense...for lack of a better term.

Most of the content just went over my head.  I struggled to keep up.  I feel like I should be able to understand...but I often don't even have a proper frame of reference....simply because I haven't been training long enough.  I want to be engaged, but everyone else with the same engagement is just so much further along.  

It's as if my physical, mental and spiritual components just don't quite jive.  Like there's a disconnect between what I'm capable of physically and what I'm capable of mentally or spiritually.  I don't even know if that makes sense.
  

At one point I took note of everyone in attendance.  And, I think the closest ranking to me was Blue.  And I suddenly felt way out of my league....like I didn't quite fit.

But I'm not quite sure where I do fit.

I'm not even sure if any of this makes sense.  But it's certainly clouding my vision today.