Saturday, April 6, 2024

Frozen By Fear

I am really not doing well with one of my personal requirements.  

My goal was to give out "100 notes to a stranger" over the course of the year.  I have given out zero so far.  

I was so excited about this requirement!!  I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of one of these.  It made me feel seen.  It made me feel connected.  I want other people to feel that way.  To know that they are important and that they belong and that I see them.

So what's holding me back?

I have developed a fear of rejection.  The world is a funny place these days.  People are very guarded.  Suspicious.  Closed off.  And I have this worry that someone might throw it back in my face or be weirded out, or maybe even feel patronized or judged.  

And so now I find myself overthinking it.  Worrying that it will not be received as intended.  And I'm just sitting here frozen.

IHC Numbers To Date
Pushups = 8515
Situps = 8227
Fan = 237
Long = 151
Sparring = 130
Km's = 185
AOKs = 166

2 comments:

  1. Would it help if the team got together to make notes with you. Like a crafting session, dressing them up a bit?
    Could you also just leave notes for people to find? Would still be within the spirit of the requirement?

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    Replies
    1. The notes are to be personal and so should come with me. But maybe I could start with leaving them randomly and work my way towards face to face.

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