Fingers Crossed

For the first time in over 4 years, I am not practicing my Tai Chi in a formal capacity. Meaning, although I am still practicing on my own, I am not attending classes.  This was a decision that was difficult to make, and that I didn't take lightly. Tai Chi is a benefit not only to my Kung Fu training, but to me and my overall well-being in general. It worried me that if I didn't continue with formal classes to hold myself accountable, it would end up falling to the wayside.  I also didn't want to let down my instructors that have put so much time into my training and been so important in my Tai Chi development.  Nor did I want to give a false perception to other students that Tai Chi isn't worth doing.  I strongly believe in leading by example and I feared (and still do) that stepping back could possibly lead others to think it would be no big deal if they did the same.

But I was missing time with my kids during the week.

Sure we still had weekends. But I felt like the weeks were flashing by and I was missing it. From Monday to Friday...between my workday, Kung Fu class, teaching, helping at Adult Level 1, etc...I was literally seeing them (not counting me teaching their Kung Fu classes) for a total of 4-6 hours over those 5 days. And I didn't feel good about that. There will come a day where the opportunity to spend time with them won't even be an option. Who knows where life will take them. My opportunity to be with them, to connect with them and to ensure that our relationship lasts far beyond when they venture out on their own...is now.

So I made the decision to pull back on Mondays and Wednesdays, attending my core class only on those days, which works well because as I am leaving the house, they are starting to wind down and get ready for bed. This has opened up quality time to connect and share our days, help them with homework, have supper together, just hang out...and even more recently, practice our Tiger Challenge stuff together.  And it's been really good.

Kung Fu is all around me all the time. It's in my day to day. A set class time might not always work for me...a formal setting might not always be possible....but I feel I'm in a place where I am strong enough in my discipline and my training that I can shift my priorities without totally sacrificing any. I hope I can anyways.