#221

This posting is a long time coming.  I just never found myself with the time to really sit down and reflect.  Which you'll see is part of the problem.

Today will mark my 221st consecutive daily blog.  When I first made daily blogging a personal requirement, I did so with several benefits in mind.  The biggest would be having an accurate and detailed record of my year as well as a dedication to daily reflection.  It was also mentioned that my daily blogs have proved helpful to those training from a distance, giving them a way to stay connected.  All positive things, right?

Unfortunately, no, not all positive.

As I look over these 220 postings, I see consistent reflection, true.  But not deep reflection.  And admittedly alot of fluff serving as a checkmark.  My blogs this year feel as though I am only scratching the surface of things.  And although I had initially thought that daily blogs would prevent me from losing lots of little gold tidbits, it's proving to work the opposite way.  If I'm not ready to blog fully and deeply about something, I just put out a "filler" blog, or I just touch on the subject matter in a superficial way, in order to fulfill an act of discipline.  And then if I'm still not ready or haven't found the time to dig deeper the next day, once again, I still have that daily blog to fulfill, and so I rattle off another random posting.  And so the more valuable thoughts I might be having are eventually scattered all over the place....none connected or complete...because I'm not allowing myself the time to pull it all together.  First priority is getting that daily blog in.  Even if it sucks.  Even if it's just fluff in order to check a box.  And so on and so on...all of it spiraling out of control to the point where blogging is no longer my favorite.  

My original plan was to blog daily for the year, and then, dependent on the outcome, decide whether I would continue that way.  But here I am...a little over half-way through the year, and have already decided that I would not.  It turns out I did not need a full year to see that this particular goal is not serving me in a positive way.  If I needed to personally improve on my ability to fulfill commitments...or work on my follow through, then yes, continuing with this act of discipline would be important.  But as was pointed out to me recently, I am not short on acts of discipline.  I have many others that I continue to fulfill and that are serving me much better.  I also have many that would likely be doing much better, if I didn't have the daily blog requirement weighing on me each day, stealing from both my time and mental reserves.

So this then raises the following questions.....

Do I push through and finish the year, fulfilling a commitment I made...but also knowing that this requirement is strictly an act of discipline and may actually be harming my blogging (among other things), which has always been my greatest training tool?  

Or do I wave a white flag, acknowledge that it isn't working and stop now...returning to the weekly requirement...admitting failure at a personal requirement, but knowing that it will serve me best to do so?  

Not fulfilling this requirement will be a blow to my ego for sure.  It will hurt to not be able to say I did it.  But I also miss how my blogging used to serve me so well.  And I don't feel this daily requirement has enhanced that, but rather has taken away.

More of a good thing isn't always a good thing.

Filler

Day after day there is a blog I need to write.  Day after day I don’t have time so I end up just making a filler post. I need to do this tomorrow. 

Where’s The Light?

I’m still struggling with this foot.  This darn toe just doesn’t want to touch the ground.  I’m hearing some horror stories about this lasting a long time.  It’s not something I was expecting.  The swelling is getting to me as well.  I knew to expect swelling.  Even up to a year. But I guess I thought it would only be after physical exertion.  Not just always swollen even with lots of rest, elevation and icing.  

I’m nowhere near where I thought I’d be at almost 12 weeks post op.  

Art In The Park

 

Camping

I love camping.  Although it never seems to leave much time for Kung Fu requirements. 

But there is still kung fu in so many things.  In the acts of kindness that can be found in pretty much every moment of every day.  In the moments spent with nature…listening and breathing.  And during my quiet (and slow) walks with Avery where I practice my walking meditation.

So no…not many reps…but still lots of Kung Fu   

Hi

This day is going to get away from me quickly so I wanted to do a quick checkin.  

We are currently on our way to Gregg Lake to camp.  First and only trip of the year.  A bit of an anomaly since we usually go 4-5 times. 

This also means I won’t be at open training tomorrow but for anyone else going have a great time!

I should be back in time for class on Monday. 😁

Do Your Best

I saw this and it just really stuck with me. This is sort of my view when it comes to empathy.  I like to think that everyone is just doing the best they can with what they know and what they have…just like I am.  

Always Different With An Audience

I’ve gotten some extra drumming in this week so far.  In both the kids and adult classes.  I think one of the biggest hurdles with drumming is doing it in front of people.  So the more practice I can get with that, the less likely it will be that I bomb in my first demo.  😂 

Just Like That

And just like that, my side heel is now better than my roundhouse.

As we continuously work on things, striving for mastery, the stuff we are weaker at eventually becomes our strengths, then our weaknesses again, then strengths.   And it cycles like that over and over as something improves, and something else takes a back seat.

Now the only reason my side heel has surpassed my roundhouse right now is because of my surgery.  But that’s irrelevant.  Our circumstances play a huge role in our strengths and weaknesses.  And right now, I am actually confident enough to even attempt a side heal, whereas I’m not quite there yet with the roundhouse.  The 3 point position is proving to be a bit of a challenge.  Most likely a mental challenge, but a challenge nonetheless.

I tend to wonder if all the visualization I did with the side heel actually helped.  Did it help with retaining muscle memory?  Did it even go so far as to improve some of the little things I was working on prior to surgery…to the point I was able to implement them right away?  Did it help in perfecting the feeling of what I WANTED my side heel to be?   

I doubt I will ever know for sure.  But I tend to think that at the very least, it kept things fresh in my mind, making it not so scary to get back into. 

Little Wins

I actually threw some side heels today.  Real ones.  Without holding onto anything for balance for fear of stumbling and having to catch myself with my bad foot.

I could only kick with my right foot from a left lead.  I thought about trying to switch, but that would mean pivoting on my right foot.  And I couldn’t quite make myself do that mentally just yet.  So whenever the class switched to a right lead, I stayed put.  I also wasn’t ready to kick a bag. Again…a mental hurdle I need t overcome I think. 

But still…I actually threw some side heels and it feels like a pretty big deal so I’m feeling pretty good.

AND I got to drum a little bit for the class.  I desperately need practice with my thunder drumming so it was a good opportunity and one I’m grateful I was given.

Ferris Wheel Pottery

Well here we go.  I think I’ve got a solid basis for a simple website for my pottery.  I’ve already got lots more ideas but I gotta start somewhere.  Because this is an IHC personal goal, I am sharing it here. If you have a moment, I’d love to have some people check it out, make a few clicks, let me know if anything weird is happening and offer any feedback either for now, or as I expand it more.

I’m only going to leave it up for a few days to give you all a chance to have a look.  I’ll need to bring it back down again to complete the commerce section, which isn’t fully functional yet. 

Thanks so much!

Ferris Wheel Pottery Website

A Repeat

I spent some time reading through some old blogs today.  And I ended up getting to the one I wrote exactly 2 years ago today.  I thought that was kind of neat so here it is (link below). Lol   Nothing overly special, but I was able to recall that class like it was yesterday.  I can’t wait to start pushing hard again. 

Blog From August 12, 2021

Stories

Every year (Covid aside) we have a big garage sale at our shop.  It’s become a bit of a “thing”.  We’ve even got “regular” customers that watch for us year after year.  

It isn’t about making a bunch of money.  In fact, we constantly get comments how everything is so cheap.  We do it more so to keep things from piling up in a landfill.  We find it fulfilling to find things a new home, with a new purpose.

And this may sound odd, but the biggest reason I do it is to engage.  These aren’t people I know, but that doesn’t matter.  I’ll just wander around, listening to peoples’ stories.  And one thing I’ve learned is that everyone has one…and they just want to tell it.  And I think it’s really important that we all get that chance.

That's All

Once again, this is just a check mark blog.  Which actually leads me into something more that I need to blog about.  But not tonight.  

I just got home at 9pm...fed Emma and got her to bed, then posted the Back to School Week signup.

And now I'm off to bed myself.  

That is all folks.

Thank-you

Today there was a moment where I almost wanted to cry.  

It was right after my physio.  I was defeated both mentally and physically.  It really didn’t go very well.  I was desperately trying to do the exercises that he wants me to do.  But I can’t seem to do them. I can’t move my toes how I want…or at all.  My big toe still doesn’t want to touch the ground.  And as little as I felt I did, my foot was extremely sore for the remainder of the day. I’m starting to feel panic.  Like I should have just lived with the pain from before.  Because so far, this is not better.  I just really want to see some improvement. 

Having said that, I felt much better after getting to class.  Although I had to be careful not to land on my bad foot, I actually did some shoulder rolls, some one legged shrimping (that was very hard), and even some side heel kicks (granted I had to use the wall for balance).  Oh, and some really sad lion dancing…but lion dancing nonetheless.

And even though nobody knew that my day itself was a real downer, everyone played a part in helping me end it in a much better note.

Thunderstorm

I’ve been focussing on my drumming lately.  And I thought I was starting to tighten things up.  But then I realized that I had completely forgotten about one specific part.  The waking up portion where the lion licks his legs.  It’s thunder drumming that quickly gets louder.  I already struggle with thunder drumming, nevermind a quicker, louder version.  And I cannot do it.  Arrrgh.

Just A Checkmark Entry

Apologies on this blog.  This is simply a checkmark that I made the time to come here and write something.  

I spent the majority of the day working on my website for my pottery. It’s getting close to launching.  

Once again, it’s nothing crazy amazing, but it’s a start!

You’ll probably be the first to know once it’s live.  

😁

Don’t Bypass Technique

As I continue to progress through this recovery, I find myself taking some calculated risks.  

For example. Kicks.  

As long as they don’t involve pivoting, I’ve been attempting to throw a few kicks here and there.  And I’m finding that I’m really having to focus on technique, rather than power or speed.  In a good way.  

I’ve got to be in complete control.  I have no choice.  I need to stay grounded throughout.  I need to stay solid and balanced.  I can’t just fall back into my stance, I need to consolidate, and then step back with control.  

What’s really cool about this is that my situation has forced me to do this, and now I know I can.

Coming Soon

 I’ve been working on one of my personal requirements.  It’s nothing fancy, but it will be a start and I can always expand. 

Side Heel Visualization

Over the last several weeks I’ve been doing a lot of visualization with almost everything.

Something that I’m excited to start working on again when I can is my side heel.  I was working on this a lot prior to my surgery.  But while being “off my feet” I’ve been analyzing a lot of old videos.  And while visualizing the kick in my head, trying to figure out what I need to do to really send my foot straight out, I stumbled upon something that I think may make a difference.

Previously, my initial intent was for my crane stance and bringing my knee up.  Then my intent would shift to my foot for the kick.  There always seemed to be a disconnect here.

I then happened upon a different approach.  Instead of focusing on bringing my knee up…I instead would focus on bringing my foot up.  With my focus and intent already with my foot, it feels like I will have better control and a more seamless shift to the kick.  I know it seems like the same thing, but I don’t think it is.

I’m antsy to start putting this theory to the test.

On The Mend

I had my first physio appointment yesterday.  My foot was pretty tired after that.

I also did my first Tai Chi class back on my foot yesterday.

And my first core class.

And IHC tonight.

It’s taken a beating these last few days. 

But although its feeling sore, I think it’s feeling better.

Success And Failure As An Instructor

A Success

Yesterday in the Level 1 Young Dragons, I was asked by a student what the white stripe was for.  I might have easily answered "The white stripe is your 6 harmonies, and that means your forms".  But I hesitated.  We've been talking alot as instructors about how we need to not be so focused on specifics of the syllabus.  We don't want the students (or ourselves) to simplify the striping system to such a degree that it becomes a checklist.  As mentioned in a recent article by Sifu Brinker, we don't want to train in, or teach from, a silo.  Instead, we want to help the students (and ourselves) realize how everything within the curriculum, and the syllabus, is connected.  And we want to help students connect the dots in order to expand their opportunity for progress and growth.

So instead, I challenged my own thinking and changed my answer to "Well, the white stripe is our 6 harmonies.  And specific to what we are working on today...."

I went on to explain a little about the external harmonies (hands/feet/elbows/knees/shoulders/hips) and showed her how that would work specifically with the choke defense that we were learning.  How it's not just our arm performing the technique...but also our legs, feet, entire body really.  And by having everything working together, in harmony, we maximize the efficacy of the technique.  I did not get into the internal harmonies and tried to keep my explanation short and "level/age appropriate".  I was pleased in that she seemed to understand and began to utilize more of her body.  And I could tell in her expression, that she felt the difference and was happier with the results afterwards.

I was happy I made the attempt to answer her question about a stripe by using what we were working on in that moment as the example.  This is a practice I will continue as I can see the benefit to the student, and to myself.

A Failure

Later on with the Level 2s, I was leading the class and was going to progress the choke defense to a small taste of how it could lead to an arm bar.  I was not happy with how my explanation went.  Reflecting on this afterwards, I could see a couple reasons for this.  The first is confidence.  Half way into the explanation, I realized that I was lacking confidence in my words.  And that, to me, means that this is something I need to be practicing more myself, before I will have a good ability to teach it.  The second factor was that I had Sihing Burke and Sidai Csillag demo this for me.  I'm still favoring my foot and didn't want to risk an accidental twist.  In hindsight, I think that I may have done better with the explanation if I had actually been doing the demo physically as well.  Or, alternatively, it would have been better if one of them had explained and demo'd so they could have stopped, gone slower, moved around, etc, in real time with their explanation.  Either way, I will remember this in future so I can adjust my instruction to best serve the students.

IHC Number Update - August 1

2023 Year of the Rabbit

Year of the Rabbit - January 22, 2023 to February 9, 2023 (384 days)

Base Requirements

Hand Form - Tai Chi Short Form  459/1000

Weapon Form - Kwan Dao  489/1000

Push-ups  23,468/50,000

Sit-ups  23,114/50,000

Sparring  429/1000 *this has suffered a bit over the last couple months.

Kilometers 710/1609 *this has suffered alot.  But I'm seeing an upward trend since I started walking again

Acts of Kindness  527/1000

Blogging/Online Presence - yup

Unexcused Absences - yup

Mastery by Stewart Emery - 👎

Mend a Relationship - 👍

Lion Dancing - no

Tiger Challenge - complete!

Public Performances - Tiger Challenge

Core Curriculum - hope so

SRKF Projects and Initiatives - Children's Class Weekly Recaps, Spring Break Mad Minute Challenge, Earth Day, Dragon Dance organizing, Blood Drive

Personal Requirements

Monthly Movie/Game Family Night  6/12

Lion Dance Drumming - Going good.  I need to ensure I'm doing the 5-star properly

Chi Development - not at a total standstill, but could be better.

Establish online presence for pottery - I've been looking into a platform

Daily blogging  192/384 *14 of these are "I  Am" blogs

Weekly Kick Assessment - no progress at this time