Sunday, April 18, 2021

Doubt-y McDoubt-erton

I was in a state of self-doubt recently.  Doubting my ability, doubting my understanding, doubting my progress, doubting my instincts, doubting my place.  Doubt, doubt, doubt-y, doubt, doubt.

Self-doubt is just one roadblock that I will sometimes encounter.  There are a myriad of other things that will often creep in as well; lack of motivation, injury or health issues, mental fatigue or depression, external forces like work, friends, family,...and the list goes on.  I imagine we all have this same list.

Something both interesting, and positive, that I've noticed is that it's actually become somewhat easier to push through these things.  Almost as if I've trained myself to automatically shift gears when these roadblocks appear.  My own internal 4x4.

First, my focus will shift to my numbers.  When my mind is distracted with any of the things above, it's very difficult to troubleshoot or attempt to make any discoveries or insightful progress.  It's just too much.   And I just end up more disappointed and discouraged. Numbers are easy....push-ups...sit-ups...forms.  Are these always mindful?...pretty much never if I'm working through one of these roadblocks.  Are they always perfect physically?...not if I'm modifying or substituting for injury.  But the point is that I don't want to come out of this slump with just another roadblock of being behind.  So when training through an obstacle, my training focus shifts to the numbers.

The other thing I find myself doing is thinking about what I would say to someone else if they were feeling the same way.  I don't know where this "tactic" came from...I just found myself doing it.  What would I say to Ms. Kohut...Ms. Bjorkquist...Mr. Bauer....any of my team-mates, that may be experiencing the same thing?  I would encourage and motivate...and point out all the positives.  And I figure I should probably take my own advice.

Not only am I finding my time spent trapped by these roadblocks becoming less and less....I'm finding them easier and easier to manage while facing them and they are becoming less and less debilitating.  I know what to do, I just have to shift gears and do it.  Although I'm sure I'll need a tow at some point.

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