Let's See Where It Goes

I think I did one of the best reps of Awakening the Dragon that I've ever done.

I was actually doing my morning meditation.  And I started to use my hands to play around with my chi a bit.  As I did this I happened to find myself doing similar motions to our form.  So I went with it.   

I find Awakening the Dragon very difficult at times.  When we do it in class, typically after some high intensity drills, I find that I can never manage to regulate my breathing to the form.  I'm mostly going through the motions, because my breath is just too quick and irregular.  So my harmonies are very disconnected...nonexistent to be honest.  Other times I find that I am too in my head, counting the number of reps for each part, unable to really immerse myself into the form and utilize it in the way it should be.  And I learned from this one particularly "perfect" repetition that the number is arbitrary.  I wasn't counting and I couldn't even make a guess as to how many times I did each part.  I simply moved on, and changed course, when it felt right.  

In this particular moment, I just felt like everything came together.  My breathing, my movements and my chi was all perfectly in sync.  And I cannot say that has ever happened before.  At least never to this degree.

I'm now trying to figure out how to apply these insights to other forms.  Being an internal form, it will be difficult to replicate this in an external form like Da Mu Hsing, but I don't think impossible!  I intend to start with some bits that, on their own, seem more internal, and then expand from there.  I'm excited to see where this takes me.

August 24, 2024

IHC Numbers To Date

Pushups = 20329
Situps = 19508
Fan = 416
Long = 305
Sparring = 259
Km's = 681
AOKs = 549

Paddleboarding

We are out camping and service is very poor and sporadic and I haven’t been able to get onto the blog site at all the last couple days.  Which is actually totally fine.  Lol.  So I’m trying to write something here and am going to attempt to post this directly to WhatsApp and hopefully it will eventually go through!!

We were out on the paddle boards this afternoon.  The water was glass and I found myself just drifting and watching below.  I found myself thinking about how there was this vast unknown world right below me full of all kinds of little creatures.  There’s just so much life all around us that we are barely ever aware of and so today I spent some time trying to be really present and mindful of that.  In doing so, I actually ended up feeling connected to those little worlds rather than just an observer.

Double Blam

Last week we were given an assignment.  We were to explore the piece in Lao Gar 1 where we step back into an elongated bow with 2 backfists directed behind us.  This is also known as "Double Blam" in the Young Dragons 1 class.  lol.

As I've been playing with this, it dawned on me how this sequence is an obvious example of how the external harmonies work.  

Hands-Feet...Elbows-Knees...Shoulders-Hips

And when I say "obvious" I mean obvious now that I've been directed to actually pay some close attention.  

As I did this sequence over and over, while applying my eye for detail, I noticed that I could easily recognize each of these connections.  It starts with the shoulders-hips as the motions are initiated.  It flows down to the elbows-knees and then finally ends with the hands-feet at "impact" or completion of the strike.  These connections and flow were always there...I just never acknowledged them specifically.  

To be honest, this hasn't been a part that I've ever really paid alot of close attention to.  I tend to focus on the parts that give me serious trouble.  And in an effort not to overload my mind too heavily, I often tell myself that if it feels ok, then I should trust my body is doing what it needs to do and not overthink it too much.  Overthinking can sometimes get me in trouble or lead me down the wrong path.  But in my attempt to not overthink, I've also stopped being mindful.  Whoopsies.

After diving deeper into a portion that I feel fairly good about, I can see that understanding what IS working in one area, or what IS obvious, can be very useful in troubleshooting the areas that I'm really struggling with.

IHC Numbers To Date
Pushups = 19574
Situps = 18668
Fan = 400
Long = 299
Sparring = 222
Km's = 627
AOKs = 498

Aug 3, 2024

 I’m out camping this weekend enjoying the outdoors but not a lot of electronic time!!

IHC Numbers To Date

Pushups = 19078
Situps = 18245
Fan = 399
Long = 296
Sparring = 222
Km's = 571

A Parent, Not A Friend

When I returned from my holidays in Saskatchewan, I was greeted with enthusiasm by the Young Dragons students.  One, in particular, was even more excited to see me back than the others.

“You’re back!!”

“Yes I am!”

“Where were you?”

“I was in Saskatchewan visiting my mom.”

“I’m glad you’re back. I missed you!”

Any kid noticing my absence would have made my day.  But this one in particular had greater meaning.  This particular student is one that has required a lot of my focus and efforts.  And I don’t mean that they are a bad kid!  Not at all.  They are smart and kind and quite talented.  But they crave attention and they tend to do what it takes to get that attention.  And so they are one that requires a lot of redirection and I have to be on them constantly in order to keep them from derailing both their own learning and the class as a whole.

So to learn that they not only noticed I was absent, but that they missed me and were excited to see me return…well…it was hard proof that we are developing a report and that they recognize that the reason I am on them so much is because I care.  It reiterates how I approach being a parent with my own kids.  I’m their parent…not their pal.  And that’s exactly what they need from me at this stage in life. So even when we argue…or there is a need for discipline…they recognize (even if it’s later and not in the moment) that I do it because I want them to grow and to learn and to be successful and to be happy.  I do it to maintain structure and to establish boundaries so that they can eventually establish and maintain these things themselves. And although I’ve known this to be true intellectually…and that all the experts say that kids need a parent, not a friend…you still always wonder and question if you’re doing the right thing for them. Having this student value my presence, even though I happen to also be the hardest on them, shows me that I’m doing the right thing and taking the right role in the relationship we are developing.

This also opens my eyes as a student myself.  When I am being corrected again and again. When I am being advised to do this or try that.  When an instructor always seems to be pointing something out. When I am being told again and again to blog, to do my pushups, to utilize the tools set out for me…..they do it because they have a vested interest in my success.  They want me to improve.  They want me to progress.  They care.  And I am grateful.

Ouch

Things have been a little slow the last couple weeks.  My quads have prevented me from doing too much.  Although I’ve stayed fairly safe in class (probably thanks to being forbidden to do certain things…lol), small day to day things continue to sabotage my healing.  Kneeling down to take a measurement at work.  Tripping over the door threshold at Safeway. Hopping up on to the back of the truck.  Things that I typically wouldn’t think twice about.  But unless I wanted to lay in bed and do nothing, I’m doing the best I can and hopefully I will find things back to normal shortly.

IHC Numbers

Pushups = 18478

Sit-ups = 17445

Long = 287

Fan = 376

Kms = 571

AOKs = 450

Sparring = 221

Injured But Still Learning

Since I’ve been dealing with an injury the past couple weeks, I’ve shifted my focus to a couple different things not requiring the ol’ quad muscles at 100%.

The first is the initial move in Long, with the tiger strike and thrust punch.  These two techniques have always felt really awkward “side-by-side”. I say “side-by-side” because I know they are moving at the same time, but are completely separate techniques.   I’ve worked on driving the tiger with my hips as I turn into my cat.  But my punch tends to come out at a curve as well, kind of following the path of the tiger claw, rather than its own trajectory.  So right now I’m working on the tiger strike as a circular motion and the punch as linear.  It makes sense as an application, but I still can’t quite get it right in the form.  This move sort of reminds me of the “knife/punch/open roundhouse/spinning back kick” in DMH2.  These techniques also go from circular to linear.  Different techniques following different trajectories, yet flowing together.  I just haven’t quite been able to make these things click in Long yet, but I will continue exploring.

The other thing I focussed on this week was getting centred and staying centred in my forms, even when not able to get as deep into my stances as I normally would.  This was interesting because my initial thoughts were that I simply wouldn’t be able to ground myself with my injury.  But I didn’t feel that was the case.  I have no idea what I looked like from an outside view, but I felt surprisingly good.  Again, this is something that will need more time to explore, but so far I’m finding it very interesting.

A Series Of Unfortunate Events

As part of the July 1st event in my hometown, there was a slopitch tournament.  Ball is big where I’m from. Basically because it was the only sport available to us growing up. lol.  The population when I moved away in 1997 was about 475 people.  That number remains fairly close to today’s.

Anyhow, my mom is a councillor for the town and the planning fell to her.  She asked my sister and I to form a team, and so we tracked down some old friends and put one together.

I never gave it a thought.  I joked that I’d be rusty…not having swung a bat for probably 12 years, but I was still confident it would be like riding a bike.  Skills-wise, yes.  It all came back.  But what I failed to plan for was how I’ve changed physically.  I’m not in terrible shape, but I’m certainly older.  And I realized too late that I haven't run, in any capacity really, since my surgery.  And when I say run, I mean full on sprinting around those bags. After game 1, I could feel that I tweaked my left hip and pulled my right quad.  But, with age does not always come wisdom, and I continued to play and push myself well beyond my limits.

In the following days I was struggling pretty good physically.  But again, I took for granted I could keep going and started digging in my garden as soon as I got home.  I had brought lots of new plants home from moms and needed to get them in the ground.  They can’t wait that long out of the ground.  And so all that up and down eventually resulted in a re-injury of that pulled muscle.  It took my breath away and it was many moments and some creative movements before I could stand up.  I made it into the house, took a bit of a break and did some massage work to try and ease the pain.

Sadly the story doesn’t end there.  Again, wanting to get back out to my garden, I told myself I’d take it slow and easy.  Which I did!  Until I witnessed Nathan hit a bump on his quad and took a good tumble.  On instinct, I launched into a run.  That quad muscle screamed, but I kept going until I reach Nathan and could see he was okay.  Once I knew all was good, the pain exploded almost beyond coping.  I hobbled inside, and with Dans help, was able to get onto my bed and start icing.  

I still have plants to get into the ground, but they will have to wait.  I have already made too many errors in judgement. 

I’m struggling with recognizing limits that come with aging.  I don’t feel old.  I still have the same drive and motivation I’ve always had.  More even.   But when I hurt myself, where I could once push through, knowing recovery would be simple, it now takes so long.  And I just don’t have that kind of patience.  There are so many things I want to do.

On a positive note, we won the tournament.  lol.

Broken

Why is my blogging so broken?

Words and writing have always come easily to me.  I’ve never found it hard to sift through my thoughts, organize them and then articulate them onto paper.

And now it’s become the opposite.  It’s no longer easy and I’m finding it extremely hard.

Even worse is I can’t figure out how to change this.  I’m actively working at turning this back around but have so far been unsuccessful.   I’ve tried just writing organically.  I’ve tried giving myself a topic. I’ve tried reading old blogs. I’ve tried finishing old blogs that were left half done.

It all ends up a jumbled mess of nothingness.  Half done attempts that really go nowhere. Making no sense.  Without much meaning or relevance.

I remember being told in past meetings that if we don’t have anything to blog about, it’s likely because we aren’t training.  Is this me?  Is this the reason?

I want to say it’s not.  I think I have things to say.  Things I’m working on.  Things I’m thinking about. No, my training doesn’t look the same as it has in the past. My regular mornings are no longer what they were.  But I’m still training.  I’m still moving forward.  I’m still progressing. 

Aren’t I???

I’m really frustrated with this because I know exactly what a powerful tool blogging is and for over a year now it’s just been a hoop.

I feel like the answer is simple.  A small shift in perspective. But I just can’t seem to find it. 

Maybe I just need to accept my blogging as it is. Messy.  Half done.  Confusing.  No direction. And post them anyways. Maybe the problem isn’t my blogging.  Maybe it’s that I’m hiding it, thinking it should be better. Maybe blogging the messy jumbles is as important as the insightful and articulate ones. 

And maybe it’s a good thing that blogging has become more difficult. If something is just always easy, perhaps we don’t ever realize a true appreciation.  Maybe the lesson here is that it’s simply not always going to be easy.  That I will go through phases, just like anything else.  And the point it to accept that, continue working hard and eventually persevere and come out the other side better for it.  

June 22, 2024

IHC Numbers To Date

Pushups = 16153
Situps = 15299
Fan = 365
Long = 271
Sparring = 202
Km's = 451

Alberta Beach Farmers Market

Well I did it.  I attended my first market with my pottery.  I wouldn’t say things were flying off the shelves.  But a lady did buy one of my big hand painted bowls.  What was most special about this was how excited she was about it. She spent hard earned money on something I made with my own hands.  It was a pretty cool feeling.  

This also means I’ve successfully completed one of my personal goals for the year. 😊

HC Numbers To Date

Pushups = 15473
Situps = 14849
Fan = 359
Long = 269
Sparring = 202
Km's = 414

July 1, 2024

I've been really working on maintaining balance in my life and establishing something that will be sustainable for the long term.  Recently this has meant making a choice between an IHC commitment and family.

My "little" sister called me a few weeks ago to let me know she'd be visiting my Mom in Saskatchewan with her family.  I haven't seen my sister in about 8 years.  And I've never met my nephew in person (now 1 1/2 years old).  We talk and facetime, but it's not the same.

Unfortunately, it turns out the visit will take place over the July 1 weekend.

It's not necessarily a decision I wanted to make, but truth be told, the decision itself was easy.  I know exactly when there will be another July 1st. What I don't know is when I'll get the next opportunity to see my sister.  Having said that, there is still some guilt for missing this IHC commitment.  And I want the team to know and understand I wouldn't be without a very good reason.