A Parent, Not A Friend

When I returned from my holidays in Saskatchewan, I was greeted with enthusiasm by the Young Dragons students.  One, in particular, was even more excited to see me back than the others.

“You’re back!!”

“Yes I am!”

“Where were you?”

“I was in Saskatchewan visiting my mom.”

“I’m glad you’re back. I missed you!”

Any kid noticing my absence would have made my day.  But this one in particular had greater meaning.  This particular student is one that has required a lot of my focus and efforts.  And I don’t mean that they are a bad kid!  Not at all.  They are smart and kind and quite talented.  But they crave attention and they tend to do what it takes to get that attention.  And so they are one that requires a lot of redirection and I have to be on them constantly in order to keep them from derailing both their own learning and the class as a whole.

So to learn that they not only noticed I was absent, but that they missed me and were excited to see me return…well…it was hard proof that we are developing a report and that they recognize that the reason I am on them so much is because I care.  It reiterates how I approach being a parent with my own kids.  I’m their parent…not their pal.  And that’s exactly what they need from me at this stage in life. So even when we argue…or there is a need for discipline…they recognize (even if it’s later and not in the moment) that I do it because I want them to grow and to learn and to be successful and to be happy.  I do it to maintain structure and to establish boundaries so that they can eventually establish and maintain these things themselves. And although I’ve known this to be true intellectually…and that all the experts say that kids need a parent, not a friend…you still always wonder and question if you’re doing the right thing for them. Having this student value my presence, even though I happen to also be the hardest on them, shows me that I’m doing the right thing and taking the right role in the relationship we are developing.

This also opens my eyes as a student myself.  When I am being corrected again and again. When I am being advised to do this or try that.  When an instructor always seems to be pointing something out. When I am being told again and again to blog, to do my pushups, to utilize the tools set out for me…..they do it because they have a vested interest in my success.  They want me to improve.  They want me to progress.  They care.  And I am grateful.