As my abilities and knowledge expand, as my goals and interests increase, there are more and more things providing me with excitement and stimulation on my journey to Mastery. In class, we will work on new things...or maybe old things with a different perspective, and I want to race home with it, and explore it further. But instead, I find myself pushing these things aside because, first and foremost, I have a commitment to my IHC requirements. And more often than not, once I have fulfilled those numbers for the day, I have no time or energy...or quite honestly, even interest...for more. The spark that was ignited by something outside the requirements, has been stifled and has passed. And I start to feel resentful. Each day I do my allotted number, and that is it. Rarely do I get other training in. My focus is towards that 50,000 mark...or that 1000 mark...and it is a perfectly straight line...no ups...no downs...just a perfectly straight, boring line.
I know that these requirements serve a purpose. I've both seen, and reaped the benefits of this plan that has been laid out for us. But I have lost sight of it's true purpose and value. My vision has shifted to a complete focus on the numbers. Fulfill the numbers, fulfill the numbers, fulfill the numbers. Although I try to blame the requirements, I am here by my own volition.
I've used a couple of 1-on-1s now to talk about and brainstorm this struggle. And some really great advice and strategies have come from both. But I would like to share with you, the outcome of one, in particular, because...well...it's both awesome and hilarious. Please keep in mind, this is the short version and has been paraphrased.
Me: I'm struggling with my IHC requirements. I'm feeling really tied down. Day after day I'm just doing my daily number of reps...basically just staying afloat. But not really working on the things I want to work on. I know it will sound immature, but I just want to do what I want. And I feel like all I ever have time for are the IHC requirements. I know I'm just focusing on the numbers....just putting in the effort to reach a daily quota. And I'm not sure how to adjust my mindset.
Sifu: I can make a suggestion but I don't think you'll be happy with it. Do you want to hear it?
Me: Of course I want to hear it! (Secretly hoping I'm told to scrap all my requirements and just work on whatever I want).
Sifu: Make your goal 60,000.
Me: $#@!$!!....
Sifu: You might not understand right now why I'm challenging you to this....but hopefully you will figure it out one day.
Me: I'm never going to reach that goal this far into the year.
Sifu: Maybe not...but what if you did?
And so here I am. So far behind that the numbers don't even seem to matter at this point. I am completing my "base" number of 180 during my morning training time and then am utilizing bits of the day to do 10 here or 20 there in an attempt to claw my way to this new goal. I honestly don't even know where I stand. I can see the gigantic number that I'm behind on my app...but I have no idea how many, specifically, I should be doing each day in order to reach that goal. And honestly, I don't want to know. My problem initially was worrying about that number...and only working to achieve that number...the bare minimum, each day. The "bare minimum" is the birthplace of mediocrity.
So do I suddenly have more hours in the day? No. Have I cut anything from my day? No.
Yet, not only am I sneaking in some extra push-ups and sit-ups, but also am finding some opportunities for spinning back kicks...or a couple reps of a non-IHC form (or whatever else ignites a passion that I want to run with at the moment). I can't explain the mind shift. But I do feel better....I feel rejuvenated. Although I might mutter various curses under my breath while pumping out a few extra reps here and there, it is mixed with laughter and I am feeling the (self tied) binds that were holding me down, slowly loosen.
And yes...as Sifu said...hopefully I will figure it out one day.
No comments:
Post a Comment