Tournament Sparring

I have been trying to convince myself to enter the sparring event at the Tiger Challenge for several weeks now.  The thought alone makes me start to panic.

Although I'm starting to feel a little more comfortable in class, the main reason for that is because it's so controlled.  Even when we free-spar, the lower ranking, or less comfortable student, sets the pace.  So there's always that safety net.

A tournament setting, I think, is a whole different dynamic.  At least I'm assuming it is.  I wouldn't expect anyone to hold back because of MY anxiety.  In fact, I'd WANT them to really be able to showcase their skill.  And it's nerve-wracking to think of being just completely obliterated in that setting.  I would have no expectation of winning.  But I would like to at least be a bit of a challenge for someone.

In addition, I also look where I am in my training, and I'm a little embarrassed that sparring is an event that I've never entered.  As a Brown Belt, this sort of feels a little "unacceptable" to me.  And this also adds to the anxiety.

And yes...I realize much of this is ego.  Ugh...

Anyhow, I want to be clear in my intent of this blog and say that I'm not looking for "tire-pumping".  But rather, if anyone has some words of wisdom that could get me out of my head (and into a ring)...lay 'em on me.