Tornado Warning

I began applying some specific focus on my spinning back kick a few weeks ago.  As always, not as much as I should, or that I could...but some nonetheless.  As opposed to just telling myself "be better at this damn it!"...and with Todai Burke as my coach, I've been working on a couple of specifics.  

The first is my eyes.  With anything we do we should be leading with our eyes.  We don't blindly strike out without knowing what is there...or block without seeing a need.  And so Todai Burke suggested that I try to lead with my eyes.  Make my eyes the first thing to turn...followed by my head...then my shoulders...torso...arms....hips....etc....like a coil or a spiral.  I don't have too many thoughts on this quite yet, but one thing I do know is that I am finding this really, REALLY difficult.  I truly have to psych myself up to get my eyes to make the first move.  And I find that interesting.

The other specific that I am focusing on is my center.  With a few reps, we noticed that I have a tendency to shift back before initiating the spin...and not for any purpose that I can tell.  I believe this was lending to some of the balance issues I was having because I was moving off my center even before the kick began.  So I've been trying to stay very conscious and aware of keeping my body centered...and not spinning like a tornado...tilting this way or that...leaving everything in my wake a complete disaster.  So far, what I'm noticing is that as I lift the weight off my foot in order to start my spin, and as long as I remain centered, my energy drives downwards into the ground....almost a counter balance of sorts.  I have this feeling of a contraction in a vertical direction during the spin, which then turns into a horizontal expansion as I throw the kick.  It's difficult to explain and I apologize if my verbiage is confusing.  Realistically I have no idea at this point exactly what's happening, so right now it just guesswork that I hope will lead to some insight.  It certainly feels good when everything is firing so I'm thinking I'm on the right track and will just keep playing with it.

There are so many moving parts to the spinning back kick.  And so many things to think about in order to achieve the desired result.  At present, it's impossible to think about them all.  One day, the goal will be that I don't have to.  That with practice, many of these things will become second nature.  But for now I'll just continue poking these things with a stick to see where it leads.

My Lifeline

My most recent blog was about how I had been feeling overwhelmed.  How I had some additional, non-kung fu, stressors put onto my plate that were sapping the majority of my mental energy. How I felt I was barely hanging on by a thread and how I was feeling badly about that.

After some further reflection my perspective has shifted somewhat.  That thread that I reference...that one that was keeping me sane...keeping me moving...keeping me from falling into total despair and oblivion....that thread was my Kung Fu.  Even though, on some days, I felt like I wasn't doing as much as I should...like I was failing.  I continued with as much as I could in the situation I was in.  Turns out that single thread was what I would consider to be my most essential components of the core requirements.  Push-ups, sit-ups, forms and blogging.  Amongst all the extra stressors, my Kung Fu was my lifeline.  Kung Fu was how I came back to myself throughout the day.

Looking back, my Kung Fu was working exactly as it should.

The Universe Is Listening

Where am I?  What am I doing?

As of late I just don't know.  I feel lost.  Tired.  No energy.  Sore.  Stiff.  Disconnected.

I haven't been doing many of the things that keep me balanced and grounded.

I should be doing my meditation.  Very little.

I should be working on my Chi.  Not much.

I should be experimenting with my spinning back kick. 😬

I should be drumming.  Nope.

I should be booking 1-on-1s.  Yikes.  I just checked, and my last one was 12 days ago.

I have had several external stressors beyond my control pop up that have taken most of my mental energy.  And all these things above have suffered.  With things on overload, I don't think it's a coincidence that I came down with a cold all last week.  One that progressively got worse as days went by.  Having to be online all last week did not help.  Missing my last 2 Tai Chi classes altogether did not help.  Missing teaching the kids classes did not help.

I felt like things were slowly unraveling and that I was barely hanging on by a thread.

And then I got a message from Todai Kohut.  He was wondering if I'd be interested in joining him and some others for some daily morning mini workouts.  I recognized that opportunity for what it was and grabbed it.  It was as if the universe felt my pain and had heard my silent pleas for help.

Throughout my life I have found that, in times of struggle, there are solutions all around me.  We are truly all connected and the universe is always listening and it's always whispering to us.  We just need to keep our minds open in order to hear what it's saying, or risk missing the help it offers.

IHC Number Update - October 12, 2022

 

My October IHC Update - Year of the Tiger

Year of the Tiger - Feb 1, 2022 to Jan 21, 2023 (354 days)

Base Requirements

✅ Hand Form - Dou Ti  710/1000

✅ Weapon Form - Stick 1 and 2  714/1000

❌ Push-ups  36,190/50,000  60,000

❌ Sit-ups  36,117/50,000  60,000

❌ Sparring  640/1000

✅ Kilometers 1305/1609

✅ Acts of Kindness 719/1000

✅ Blogging/Online Presence

✅ Unexcused Absences

❌ Mastery by Stewart Emery

✅ Mend a Relationship

➖ Lion Dancing - Instructors call

❌ Tiger Challenge

✅ Public Performances

➖ Core Curriculum - Instructors call

✅ SRKF Projects and Initiatives

Personal Requirements

➖ Learn how to reclaim my pottery clay

⭐ Establish a 15 minute/2km run time

⭐ Box Jumps

✅ Monthly date with Dan

❌ Lion Dance Drumming

✅ Weekend Kung Fu Training with Kids

✅ Chi Development

➖ 3 x 1 Month "Clean Eating Challenge" -  I just realized October was supposed to be my 3rd month.  Crap.

✅ Record Numbers of all known forms.  There is no specific number I'm trying to reach.  My personal requirement is simply to record them.

• Awakening the Dragon = 25
• Broadsword 1-2 = 10
• Da Mu Hsing 1-5 = 64
• Hsieh Chien = 33
• Lao Gar 1-3 = 46
• Long 1 = 27
• Hung 1-2 = 44
• 18 Temple Motions = 19

❌  I AM Project 16/30

The 5 Second Rule

The 5 second rule...no...not for food.  Although it applies there as well....after a quick dog hair check of course.

I've been working from home this week, so this sort of came to be of it's own accord.  I found that, while sitting at my desk, or taking a break, I would suddenly think "I should do some pushups...or a form rep...or, or , or...".  I quickly came to realize that if I didn't actually do it the very moment I thought about it, it sadly only took a few seconds to convince myself otherwise.

After missing these opportunities a few times over, I started to just jump on it. I began to grab that small bit of motivation the moment it appeared, mentally stopping my train of thought before it sabotaged itself, and just did whatever came to mind.  Often times right where I was, rather than even allowing myself to walk through the house and go down to my training area...because surprisingly there are actually many distractions along that short trip.  And there's really no reason why I can't do a few things wherever I might be standing.  Even better was that more often than not, 10 pushups turned into 20....and maybe even into some situps too.

And so this week, the 5 second rule has found new meaning.  The moment I'm inspired to do a bit of training, I now find myself thinking "5 second rule" rather than a million excuses. 

They Will Someday Be Awesome

I did a kiln firing over the weekend.  I’ve been working on several things that I haven't had much success with so far.  When I opened it up, all the large pieces that took the majority of my time and efforts turned out beautifully.  Unfortunately, a few of the pendants I made, did not.  

And guess what I focused and based the overall success on?

Yup.  You guessed it.  The few little pendants that didn't quite turn out became the focal point.  And I found myself feeling disappointed.

Of course when relaying this disappointment with the pendants to Dan, he responds with "Wow Malinda, look at those bowls!!  You nailed it!"

He completely ignored the few pendants.  To him they were irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.  Granted he may not be as invested in the whole process and the time involved, but even when I pointed out my failures, he looked right past them and his focus went immediately to the success.

And when I said, again, that I wasn't happy with how some of the pendants turned out, he simply said, "Yeah...but I bet you learned some things for next time."

And immediately in my mind, something shifted.  That sense of disappointment dissolved, and turned into simple acceptance.  Yup, I suck at pendants right now…but he’s right, I do think I know what to do different.  And I will continue to work at it.  Plus, I really did nail those bowls.  Lol

I’m pretty sure I don’t need to explain how this relates to Kung fu.  But in that moment it suddenly clicked why it’s so important to measure success by how far you’ve come, rather than where you eventually want to be.  And why we shouldn't let a few sucky things outweigh all the good.

And so I will end my blog with both pictures of my awesome bowls, and my “someday will be awesome” pendants.

I AM...a Teacher

I've recently been given some more opportunities as an instructor with the kids' classes.  A couple weeks ago, I started leading the Young Dragons Level 1 & 2 classes on Thursday nights in a more permanent capacity.  

Although excited to be taking this on, it also brought about some feelings of inadequacy.  My physical skill level isn't all that much higher than these kids.  And I had doubts as to whether I was an ideal candidate.  There had to be more qualified people.

I decided to embrace the trust I have in my own instructors. There must be a reason why they felt I could do this.  Their number 1 priority is always the students...and so I doubt they would put someone in front of them, teaching, if they didn't see value.  There must be something of value that I bring to the table.

And so, instead of focusing on my physical shortcomings as a student, I started to think about the qualities I have as a teacher.

I have an ability to break things down into it's most basic components, and am able to explain them.  I am organized and creative.  I have a fairly decent understanding of most forms and techniques for this class level.  I have developed, or at least started to develop, a decent eye for detail.  

But more so, I have realized that I seem to have a knack for making connections with these kids.  And I think I've developed some pretty good relationships with the majority.  I can read them pretty good, knowing when to keep throwing more at them, and knowing when to pull back.  I am happy and willing to adjust my methods or direction based on their needs.

There have been a few times where I've called upon my fellow instructors to demo certain things, knowing that my own ability at present isn't quite at a demonstration level yet.  I don't want to NOT teach something in class, just because I can't do it.  I don't want to hold these kids back from their full potential because I'm scared to demo something.  Or because I'm scared to admit my weaknesses.  Ego aside, I have a personal desire to see each and every one of them succeed.   And my ability to do that has nothing to do with my own personal physical skill level.

As a teacher I don't need to be able to do everything perfectly.  I don't need to know everything.  I need to recognize what a student needs and then find a way to get them there.

I AM a Teacher