I Promise

As we were working on our forms on Thursday, I found myself thinking about the complexity of the "simplest" movements.  

With the first challenge, I happened to find an exact example of what Sifu had been talking about with pivoting while in a crane stance.  How you need to lift your weight without lifting your body, or center.  I have been struggling with a particular transition for quite a while.  I go from a super deep pushed in horse (more or less) to a cat stance 180 degrees the other way.  I've been trying relentlessly to figure out how to make this work for quite some time now.  I might have chalked it up as being impossible and changed my form....but with a partner, who isn't struggling with it like I am, I know that it's possible.  I ended up applying some of the things Sifu had said earlier (lifting my weight, but not lifting my whole body...which I think I've been doing and it's been leaving me struggling with my balance) and, although it's not fixed, I think I know the problem and finally have a plan of attack.

For the second challenge, I found myself at exactly the same spot. *sigh* When we discussed expansion and contraction, I realized that this was also a contributing factor to my trouble in this particular spot.  In the preceding pose I am fully expanded.  As I transition, I don't think I've been contracting before following through to the next move.  I'm pulling in, but not fully, and so again, I think this has also contributed to the imbalance I've been experiencing.  I'm not consolidating and so my harmonies are sort of still "hanging out there"...if that makes any sense.  When I actively contracted, fully, during the transition, there was definitely some positive results.  So again, I'll continue working with that strategy as well.

Anyways, back to my main point.  As I was working on this.....basically one single transition...for the entire class....I thought to myself...

"Nobody* is ever going to realize how much work and effort I put into this tiny little single move."

I thought of being up on stage at the banquet, the audience watching, and not truly recognizing that these tiny little "insignificant" moves are sometimes even more difficult to master than the big flashy ones that the audience will likely appreciate more.

And so I have made a vow that when I am watching my fellow classmates do their forms, I am going to really pay attention to the tiniest of details and I promise to give them the recognition and credit they deserve.  

I will see them and I will appreciate all the hard work.

*When I say "nobody" I don't really mean "nobody".  I realize that those that have truly developed their eye for detail, or those that struggled with similar things, would recognize and appreciate the process.

Oh Sleep...How I Have Missed You So

 

Well.  So far so good with the changes to my diet.

I took some advice given, and decided to just focus on one thing to start.  And because my sleep was also being affected, I decided to work on my suppers/evening eating first.  

So far what I'm doing is the following,

Monday/Wednesday - on these nights I do actually have time to eat before class.  However, I was either eating too much or the wrong stuff, and it was sitting heavily in my stomach during class.  So this past week I've kept my portions on the lighter side.  This seems to be working as I have felt that I have energy, but without feeling sluggish during class.  

Tuesday/Thursday - I truly don't have any time to eat a meal prior to classes on these days.  I've made sure to have a bigger lunch in anticipation of this.  After classes, I've made sure I also have decent options in the fridge ready to go.  Dan has assisted here in having it ready when I get home.  

The biggest change is what I'm eating late at night right before bed.  Any snacks, if needed, have consisted of an apple and tea.  I've been very consistent with no indulgences before bed.  I also find I don't crave these things typically during the day, so although I'm not tracking, I am fairly sure that my overall sugar/fat intake is down.

I'm letting myself have Saturdays as my day to indulge.  I don't worry about what I eat too much and I'll enjoy whatever treats I might have declined throughout the week.  Being that it's Saturday, I also don't have to worry about getting up early in the event the food messes with my sleep.

I'm also happy to say that I've slept better this week than I have in a very long time.  At first I was still waking up, but I wasn't "awake-awake" and still felt cozy and comfy and was able to go back to sleep.  And the last couple of nights I even slept right through to my alarm.  That is very rare.

I don't have any other changes I'm going to implement quite yet.  I'm happy with what I'm doing so far and what to solidify this into my "norm".

But so far so good!

....Dan tells me this is what I look like when I sleep well....

Holy Forking Shirtballs

One little piece of feedback from last nights class and it's seeming to be a gamechanger for me.

To paraphrase...."Everything physically looks good.  You're doing the right things. But you are too in your head thinking about all the things you are currently working on.  I can tell that you are focused within, trying hard to do everything right, rather than focused outwards, at an actual target.  Being in your head while you are at home training and working on things is good.  But here, in this type of situation [performance or demo], I want you to be in the moment and I want you to convince me that there is actually a threat.  Right now I'm not convinced."

I made this adjustment last night after we got our individual feedback.  And I immediately recognized exactly what Sifu was talking about.  As soon as I projected my focus (my intent) further out, there was a correlating, and dramatic, shift in my intensity.  I also noticed slight changes in my tempo, phrasing, release and even flow.  Super, super exciting.

And although I was working specifically on Long, I decided to apply this quickly to Lao Gar 1 as well.  I was curious and wanted to see if I noticed these things there too.  And all I have to say is "holy forking shirtballs".

This teeny tiny little bit of feedback is huge and I'll be applying this alot more moving forward.  

I felt really good leaving class last night.

No Excuses

There was an incident before class last night.

In the process of making supper (a veggie chili dish that was super delish and on par with my eating goals moving forward), I was tasked with chopping the vegetables.  This meal was one ordered from GoodFoods, and so I didn't directly do the shopping.

One of these vegetable was green peppers.  After chopping, I noticed that the cuticle of my thumb was hurting and was red and swollen.  I thought maybe some onion juice had gotten in there and irritated it...since that was sort of what it felt like.  I ended up sucking my thumb to relieve the pain (I know that might sound weird but that's what we tend to do when we injure a finger...I swear!!)....and HOLY TOLEDO, my mouth was on fire!!!  It took me a moment to realize that those green peppers were NOT green peppers, but were, in fact, poblanos.  Which are described as a "mild" pepper by google.  Yeah right.  I like spicy but these were insane!!  I hadn't even eaten a piece....and my mouth was on fire from trace amounts left on my thumb AFTER already washing them with soap and water!!  Needless to say, I was a bit worried about supper.  But it turned out that they were much milder in the dish.

Later on, as I was getting ready to go to class, I went to put my contacts in...and had forgotten about the peppers.  I thought I was going to go blind.  My eye was burning!!!  There was STILL residual pepper on my hands!!  I couldn't open my eye and had to pry it open...with the same fricking tainted fingers that had caused this in the first place.  I'm pretty sure those contacts are toast....like burnt toast.

Even today, I've "tested" my thumb and it is still making my mouth burn.  This is crazy.

Anyways, long story long...

When I realized that I wouldn't be able to wear contacts to class, my first thought was not going.  I was a bit annoyed at my circumstances and I absolutely hate wearing my glasses during physical activity.  In case you haven't noticed...I tend to sweat alot.  And they end up sliding down my face and fogging up all the time.  It's very aggravating and distracting.  Unfortunately, I'm basically legally blind without them, so going without isn't an option.  So in my head, it feels like I just CAN'T do things under those circumstances.  Which is obviously not true....it's more that I just don't want to.

So I quickly thought better of it and came wearing my glasses anyways.  What a silly excuse that would have been.  If my eye doctor suddenly told me that I couldn't wear contacts...would that mean I wouldn't practice Kung Fu anymore?  Or if I was sneak-attacked on a regular day in a back alley, while wearing my glasses, would I not be able to defend myself??  Come on....

It was actually that last thought that got me thinking about how there could potentially be value in training outside of our "ideal" circumstances.

If I can't wear my contacts for some reason...maybe this will help me learn what might happen with slippery/foggy glasses as a limitation or hinderance...

If I am running late and don't have time to get home to get my uniform....maybe this will help me learn how things might be different in regular street clothes...

If I am simply tired or rundown...maybe this will help me learn how my abilities and focus might be affected and how I might handle that...

These are all akin to training with an injury or during recovery.  There is value in training with limitations or under circumstances outside our norms.  Instead of making these excuses to not train...we could make them a reason to train differently.

So even if there seems to be a "valid" reason for not attending class....I'm going to start asking myself...

"Could this circumstance actually offer some insights if I attempt to train anyways?"

I have a feeling the answer will always be yes.

On a side note...here's what I found with my glasses...

• As expected, they started fogging up right away.  This became a challenge when trying to acquire my target during spinning back kicks.  
• I found myself frustrated when they began sliding down.  There always seemed to be a little bit of my focus pulled towards that and away from what my intent should have been.
• Sounds silly, but they were definitely a distraction.  I don't think it's the worst idea to simply train with them so that eventually they aren't.

A Second Opinion

I find it funny how even though we might have already recognized a problem ourselves, it still takes someone else pointing it out before it actually "clicks" to start doing something about it.  Almost like we subconsciously need a second opinion.

So when Sifu Brinker mentioned at the last meeting that no sleep is linked to poor diet...and that focusing on our health is the key to everything else falling into place....

And when Sifu Rybak just happened to want to check in to see how I've been doing...

It reiterated what I've been telling myself over the last few weeks.

My diet sucks...its affecting my sleep...which is affecting everything else down the line.

Here's what I know is going wrong.

1. Poor planning.  I've been successful numerous times (so that also means I've failed numerous times...lol) in developing a sustainable plan when it comes to food and diet.  Plan and prep are always key.

2. Less eating opportunities.  Or maybe I should say different opportunities available that I haven't gotten myself accustomed to yet...not necessarily "less".  I find that eating before my own classes isn't great.  I can feel my meal sitting in my stomach while I'm trying to train, and it's not ideal.  Most especially when it's a high-intensity class.  And when teaching, I leave work at 4, get to the Kwoon to run through my lesson plans, and then get into teaching classes.  I then don't get home until at least 8pm, or sometimes 9pm.  So basically, the "normal" window for eating is no longer available. I need to figure out a new "normal" that will work.

3. Food choices.  Ugh.  As a result of numbers 1 and 2 above, the food I'm eating is...less than ideal.  I won't lie, on occasion I've been known to eat a handful of M&Ms or a bowl of chips for supper and call it a night.  On these nights, I will wake up and not be able to get back to sleep.  Makes sense when I'm hitting a sugar rush an hour after going to bed.  😒  Even on the nights where I come home to a cooked meal waiting for me, I still end up not sleeping because it's maybe either too much or not the right stuff for right before bed.

4. A vicious circle of pain.  Lack of sleep is affecting my training.  Both because of low energy and increased injuries.  The more tired I am, the weaker I become, the more injuries I get, the less I train, the weaker I get.... And round and round we go.

This seems like a lot going on...and it is.  My it's really one thing causing a lot of different symptoms.

Better diet = better sleep = more energy = quality morning trainings = less ailments/injury = progression = balance = sustainability....and so on.

So for the next bit this is going to be my primary focus.  Everything else is going to take a wee bit of a back seat. Not forgotten, just secondary for a bit in terms of focus.  If I can get a handle on my diet, both with the choices and a proper schedule, I have a feeling that everything else will rectify itself.

I am going to set a reminder for 1 month to blog specifically about how this is going.