I've always been an early morning person no problem. But I've also been early to bed. Being up later than 9pm would be totally out of the norm. So getting up early worked...and did for a long time.
Since moving to the level 2 class, I now don't get home until 9pm. Even on the kids' class days, we aren't home until 8pm. Later on Thursdays due to IHC class. Later again, with Dragon Dance practice. And unfortunately I can't just simply crawl into bed the moment I get home. First there are the kids to attend to....getting things ready for the next day...bedtime routines...etc. Then I still need to eat supper. And as most of us find, we need some down time before crawling into bed. So for a while now, my nights have not ended until 10, or even 11pm. Then my alarm rings at 5am. And with all the changes, it's just not working anymore.
This week especially, I've chosen extra sleep over morning training. But even on the days I manage to drag myself out of bed, my time isn't utilized very well. I find myself staring off, basically out of it, and then suddenly my time is up and I really didn't do much of anything. So the time is being wasted anyways, and I may as well have just slept.
I know this sounds like a bunch of complaining. But I promise it's not. I think in order to initiate a change, I need to first get it all out and be honest with the fact that this isn't working any longer. For a long time now I've been wishing and hoping that it would all just fall back into place how it was. I need to just acknowledge that it won't. It's simply not the same anymore. My Kung Fu is so much larger. I'm doing so much more. And I wouldn't give any of it up.
I'm not saying I can't have it all. I think I can. I just need to adjust and adapt and find my new normal.
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