Just Numbers

 

Still Stuck...But Maybe Not As Bad

Awe man.

Well...a rough start to the weekend so far.  I was moving some bales and one happened to be frozen.  I fought with it quite a bit and WON!!!!  Buuuuuuut...hurt my back in the process.  I was laid up for the remainder of the day pretty much....and found myself feeling really anxious with all the little things that need to be done this time of the year.  

I'm feeling better today...but still tender.  And very gun shy.  So any training today has been pretty slim.  Having said that....the reps I've done of Da Mu Hsing....although low intensity, have been high in the energy work.  When not focusing on a bunch of other things...and when forced to slow things down...I can really feel my energy.  Especially in the transitions and in how it flows from my core to my hands.  Very "tai chi-esque".  And honestly....a nice change up.  I've been feeling kinda stuck in some monotony.  Realistically, it should be easy to switch things up.  But when you're stuck....you're stuck...and sadly, knowing the answer isn't always the solution....as backwards as that may seem.

So although this little back tweak didn't do any wonders for numbers (or getting chores done for that matter) it did force a small change for [hopefully] the better.

An Illusion

So something really interesting came out of this past Thursday's class that has made me feel alot better about my spear form.

All year I've been trying to speed up my articulations.  To no avail. It feels painfully slow and looks the same when I would watch myself in the mirror.  In speaking with Sihing Lindstrom, he asked "Well how much faster do you want to be?  Because you look pretty fast already."  I was shocked at this statement....because Sihing Lindstrom has some pretty high standards of us.  He asked that I do my articulation and watch myself in the mirror. Which I've done plenty before so I wasn't expecting anything miraculous to happen. But when I started, he said "no...watch yourself from a side view."  And from the side, my spear was MOVING.  I finally saw the speed that I see others producing.  And I realized that the perspective I have in doing, is not the same as what people see.  I also discovered that, in the form, all of the articulations are positioned so the audience has the side view....which was by design...I just didn't realize it until now.  Lol.

I Can't Breathe

Something I really struggle with in my forms is feeling really gassed by the end.  So a recent focus of mine has been my breathing.  I recognize that I tend to do a hard exhale with every strike.  It's been part of how I really release that energy and maximize my power.  But I also do this with blocks, because I see these as an opportunity to strike as well.  And now that I'm actually dedicating some focus to this, I can that there's a lot of exhaling happening, and not a lot of inhaling.  So it's clear why I feel so gassed.  I'm simply not getting enough oxygen.

I've attempted a few times now to really control my breathing.  Where I'm breathing in.  Where I'm breathing out.  And I've realized I basically don't know how to breathe.

I don't have any answers or solutions here quite yet.  I'm trying a couple of strategies that Sifu Rybak has suggested.  But it's a whole lot trickier than I'd like.  Much of the advice is "don't think about it"....but if I don't think about it, I just do what I was doing.  And that wasn't working.  So I think this is one of those times where I have to think about it....thereby breaking things a bit...and then hopefully I'll piece it back together and not have to think so hard anymore.  

But that's definitely not today.