Where I lack confidence the most is in conflict. I always do my best to be clear in my communications...both in personal or professional situations. I am direct. Consistent. And concise. I do everything I can to lay out all the details and check off all the points when relaying information to someone.
So when a person comes back to me after a time...pointing a finger...laying blame on me for an issue they are experiencing, I take it to heart. I lose sleep.
If I was in error, I do not struggle with saying so. But if I know I did my due diligence, I want to be able to approach that conflict with confidence so that I don't end up absorbing that misdirected anger and frustration.
What I do, instead, is second guess myself. Could I have explained things better? Should I have double-checked? Should I have sent reminders? What other tools or resources can I create so this doesn't happen again? Maybe they are right...maybe I should have known what they meant....or been able to foresee their intentions.
Having said that, I don't know if I could ever eradicate this altogether. I think there will always be people that misdirect their anger and frustration over things they could have controlled. People that will always hold others accountable for the challenges they face, but never themselves.
It is frustrating when that happens but you can never control how others are acting up. What you can do is to direct the experience for your own growth and learning.
ReplyDelete(and I hope it wasn’t me who triggered this blog…😁)
You are one of the most "planned" people I have ever met. Your ability to plan and adapt are not a common thing, your ability to do these things are extraordinary. Even when I inadvertently derail one of you plans, you handle it like a true professional. SRKF is lucky to have you around, you rock Malinda, never forget that.
ReplyDeletePeople who tend to point fingers either are the ones who tend to avoid responsibility, or are unhappy in their life and look for someone else to unload on.
ReplyDeleteI don’t like conflict either. But it has helped me to realize that in most situations, it’s not me they are unhappy with, even though it may seem that way, because that anger is being directed at me.