I Promise

As we were working on our forms on Thursday, I found myself thinking about the complexity of the "simplest" movements.  

With the first challenge, I happened to find an exact example of what Sifu had been talking about with pivoting while in a crane stance.  How you need to lift your weight without lifting your body, or center.  I have been struggling with a particular transition for quite a while.  I go from a super deep pushed in horse (more or less) to a cat stance 180 degrees the other way.  I've been trying relentlessly to figure out how to make this work for quite some time now.  I might have chalked it up as being impossible and changed my form....but with a partner, who isn't struggling with it like I am, I know that it's possible.  I ended up applying some of the things Sifu had said earlier (lifting my weight, but not lifting my whole body...which I think I've been doing and it's been leaving me struggling with my balance) and, although it's not fixed, I think I know the problem and finally have a plan of attack.

For the second challenge, I found myself at exactly the same spot. *sigh* When we discussed expansion and contraction, I realized that this was also a contributing factor to my trouble in this particular spot.  In the preceding pose I am fully expanded.  As I transition, I don't think I've been contracting before following through to the next move.  I'm pulling in, but not fully, and so again, I think this has also contributed to the imbalance I've been experiencing.  I'm not consolidating and so my harmonies are sort of still "hanging out there"...if that makes any sense.  When I actively contracted, fully, during the transition, there was definitely some positive results.  So again, I'll continue working with that strategy as well.

Anyways, back to my main point.  As I was working on this.....basically one single transition...for the entire class....I thought to myself...

"Nobody* is ever going to realize how much work and effort I put into this tiny little single move."

I thought of being up on stage at the banquet, the audience watching, and not truly recognizing that these tiny little "insignificant" moves are sometimes even more difficult to master than the big flashy ones that the audience will likely appreciate more.

And so I have made a vow that when I am watching my fellow classmates do their forms, I am going to really pay attention to the tiniest of details and I promise to give them the recognition and credit they deserve.  

I will see them and I will appreciate all the hard work.

*When I say "nobody" I don't really mean "nobody".  I realize that those that have truly developed their eye for detail, or those that struggled with similar things, would recognize and appreciate the process.

Oh Sleep...How I Have Missed You So

 

Well.  So far so good with the changes to my diet.

I took some advice given, and decided to just focus on one thing to start.  And because my sleep was also being affected, I decided to work on my suppers/evening eating first.  

So far what I'm doing is the following,

Monday/Wednesday - on these nights I do actually have time to eat before class.  However, I was either eating too much or the wrong stuff, and it was sitting heavily in my stomach during class.  So this past week I've kept my portions on the lighter side.  This seems to be working as I have felt that I have energy, but without feeling sluggish during class.  

Tuesday/Thursday - I truly don't have any time to eat a meal prior to classes on these days.  I've made sure to have a bigger lunch in anticipation of this.  After classes, I've made sure I also have decent options in the fridge ready to go.  Dan has assisted here in having it ready when I get home.  

The biggest change is what I'm eating late at night right before bed.  Any snacks, if needed, have consisted of an apple and tea.  I've been very consistent with no indulgences before bed.  I also find I don't crave these things typically during the day, so although I'm not tracking, I am fairly sure that my overall sugar/fat intake is down.

I'm letting myself have Saturdays as my day to indulge.  I don't worry about what I eat too much and I'll enjoy whatever treats I might have declined throughout the week.  Being that it's Saturday, I also don't have to worry about getting up early in the event the food messes with my sleep.

I'm also happy to say that I've slept better this week than I have in a very long time.  At first I was still waking up, but I wasn't "awake-awake" and still felt cozy and comfy and was able to go back to sleep.  And the last couple of nights I even slept right through to my alarm.  That is very rare.

I don't have any other changes I'm going to implement quite yet.  I'm happy with what I'm doing so far and what to solidify this into my "norm".

But so far so good!

....Dan tells me this is what I look like when I sleep well....

Holy Forking Shirtballs

One little piece of feedback from last nights class and it's seeming to be a gamechanger for me.

To paraphrase...."Everything physically looks good.  You're doing the right things. But you are too in your head thinking about all the things you are currently working on.  I can tell that you are focused within, trying hard to do everything right, rather than focused outwards, at an actual target.  Being in your head while you are at home training and working on things is good.  But here, in this type of situation [performance or demo], I want you to be in the moment and I want you to convince me that there is actually a threat.  Right now I'm not convinced."

I made this adjustment last night after we got our individual feedback.  And I immediately recognized exactly what Sifu was talking about.  As soon as I projected my focus (my intent) further out, there was a correlating, and dramatic, shift in my intensity.  I also noticed slight changes in my tempo, phrasing, release and even flow.  Super, super exciting.

And although I was working specifically on Long, I decided to apply this quickly to Lao Gar 1 as well.  I was curious and wanted to see if I noticed these things there too.  And all I have to say is "holy forking shirtballs".

This teeny tiny little bit of feedback is huge and I'll be applying this alot more moving forward.  

I felt really good leaving class last night.

No Excuses

There was an incident before class last night.

In the process of making supper (a veggie chili dish that was super delish and on par with my eating goals moving forward), I was tasked with chopping the vegetables.  This meal was one ordered from GoodFoods, and so I didn't directly do the shopping.

One of these vegetable was green peppers.  After chopping, I noticed that the cuticle of my thumb was hurting and was red and swollen.  I thought maybe some onion juice had gotten in there and irritated it...since that was sort of what it felt like.  I ended up sucking my thumb to relieve the pain (I know that might sound weird but that's what we tend to do when we injure a finger...I swear!!)....and HOLY TOLEDO, my mouth was on fire!!!  It took me a moment to realize that those green peppers were NOT green peppers, but were, in fact, poblanos.  Which are described as a "mild" pepper by google.  Yeah right.  I like spicy but these were insane!!  I hadn't even eaten a piece....and my mouth was on fire from trace amounts left on my thumb AFTER already washing them with soap and water!!  Needless to say, I was a bit worried about supper.  But it turned out that they were much milder in the dish.

Later on, as I was getting ready to go to class, I went to put my contacts in...and had forgotten about the peppers.  I thought I was going to go blind.  My eye was burning!!!  There was STILL residual pepper on my hands!!  I couldn't open my eye and had to pry it open...with the same fricking tainted fingers that had caused this in the first place.  I'm pretty sure those contacts are toast....like burnt toast.

Even today, I've "tested" my thumb and it is still making my mouth burn.  This is crazy.

Anyways, long story long...

When I realized that I wouldn't be able to wear contacts to class, my first thought was not going.  I was a bit annoyed at my circumstances and I absolutely hate wearing my glasses during physical activity.  In case you haven't noticed...I tend to sweat alot.  And they end up sliding down my face and fogging up all the time.  It's very aggravating and distracting.  Unfortunately, I'm basically legally blind without them, so going without isn't an option.  So in my head, it feels like I just CAN'T do things under those circumstances.  Which is obviously not true....it's more that I just don't want to.

So I quickly thought better of it and came wearing my glasses anyways.  What a silly excuse that would have been.  If my eye doctor suddenly told me that I couldn't wear contacts...would that mean I wouldn't practice Kung Fu anymore?  Or if I was sneak-attacked on a regular day in a back alley, while wearing my glasses, would I not be able to defend myself??  Come on....

It was actually that last thought that got me thinking about how there could potentially be value in training outside of our "ideal" circumstances.

If I can't wear my contacts for some reason...maybe this will help me learn what might happen with slippery/foggy glasses as a limitation or hinderance...

If I am running late and don't have time to get home to get my uniform....maybe this will help me learn how things might be different in regular street clothes...

If I am simply tired or rundown...maybe this will help me learn how my abilities and focus might be affected and how I might handle that...

These are all akin to training with an injury or during recovery.  There is value in training with limitations or under circumstances outside our norms.  Instead of making these excuses to not train...we could make them a reason to train differently.

So even if there seems to be a "valid" reason for not attending class....I'm going to start asking myself...

"Could this circumstance actually offer some insights if I attempt to train anyways?"

I have a feeling the answer will always be yes.

On a side note...here's what I found with my glasses...

• As expected, they started fogging up right away.  This became a challenge when trying to acquire my target during spinning back kicks.  
• I found myself frustrated when they began sliding down.  There always seemed to be a little bit of my focus pulled towards that and away from what my intent should have been.
• Sounds silly, but they were definitely a distraction.  I don't think it's the worst idea to simply train with them so that eventually they aren't.

A Second Opinion

I find it funny how even though we might have already recognized a problem ourselves, it still takes someone else pointing it out before it actually "clicks" to start doing something about it.  Almost like we subconsciously need a second opinion.

So when Sifu Brinker mentioned at the last meeting that no sleep is linked to poor diet...and that focusing on our health is the key to everything else falling into place....

And when Sifu Rybak just happened to want to check in to see how I've been doing...

It reiterated what I've been telling myself over the last few weeks.

My diet sucks...its affecting my sleep...which is affecting everything else down the line.

Here's what I know is going wrong.

1. Poor planning.  I've been successful numerous times (so that also means I've failed numerous times...lol) in developing a sustainable plan when it comes to food and diet.  Plan and prep are always key.

2. Less eating opportunities.  Or maybe I should say different opportunities available that I haven't gotten myself accustomed to yet...not necessarily "less".  I find that eating before my own classes isn't great.  I can feel my meal sitting in my stomach while I'm trying to train, and it's not ideal.  Most especially when it's a high-intensity class.  And when teaching, I leave work at 4, get to the Kwoon to run through my lesson plans, and then get into teaching classes.  I then don't get home until at least 8pm, or sometimes 9pm.  So basically, the "normal" window for eating is no longer available. I need to figure out a new "normal" that will work.

3. Food choices.  Ugh.  As a result of numbers 1 and 2 above, the food I'm eating is...less than ideal.  I won't lie, on occasion I've been known to eat a handful of M&Ms or a bowl of chips for supper and call it a night.  On these nights, I will wake up and not be able to get back to sleep.  Makes sense when I'm hitting a sugar rush an hour after going to bed.  😒  Even on the nights where I come home to a cooked meal waiting for me, I still end up not sleeping because it's maybe either too much or not the right stuff for right before bed.

4. A vicious circle of pain.  Lack of sleep is affecting my training.  Both because of low energy and increased injuries.  The more tired I am, the weaker I become, the more injuries I get, the less I train, the weaker I get.... And round and round we go.

This seems like a lot going on...and it is.  My it's really one thing causing a lot of different symptoms.

Better diet = better sleep = more energy = quality morning trainings = less ailments/injury = progression = balance = sustainability....and so on.

So for the next bit this is going to be my primary focus.  Everything else is going to take a wee bit of a back seat. Not forgotten, just secondary for a bit in terms of focus.  If I can get a handle on my diet, both with the choices and a proper schedule, I have a feeling that everything else will rectify itself.

I am going to set a reminder for 1 month to blog specifically about how this is going.

Let's See Where It Goes

I think I did one of the best reps of Awakening the Dragon that I've ever done.

I was actually doing my morning meditation.  And I started to use my hands to play around with my chi a bit.  As I did this I happened to find myself doing similar motions to our form.  So I went with it.   

I find Awakening the Dragon very difficult at times.  When we do it in class, typically after some high intensity drills, I find that I can never manage to regulate my breathing to the form.  I'm mostly going through the motions, because my breath is just too quick and irregular.  So my harmonies are very disconnected...nonexistent to be honest.  Other times I find that I am too in my head, counting the number of reps for each part, unable to really immerse myself into the form and utilize it in the way it should be.  And I learned from this one particularly "perfect" repetition that the number is arbitrary.  I wasn't counting and I couldn't even make a guess as to how many times I did each part.  I simply moved on, and changed course, when it felt right.  

In this particular moment, I just felt like everything came together.  My breathing, my movements and my chi was all perfectly in sync.  And I cannot say that has ever happened before.  At least never to this degree.

I'm now trying to figure out how to apply these insights to other forms.  Being an internal form, it will be difficult to replicate this in an external form like Da Mu Hsing, but I don't think impossible!  I intend to start with some bits that, on their own, seem more internal, and then expand from there.  I'm excited to see where this takes me.

August 24, 2024

IHC Numbers To Date

Pushups = 20329
Situps = 19508
Fan = 416
Long = 305
Sparring = 259
Km's = 681
AOKs = 549

Paddleboarding

We are out camping and service is very poor and sporadic and I haven’t been able to get onto the blog site at all the last couple days.  Which is actually totally fine.  Lol.  So I’m trying to write something here and am going to attempt to post this directly to WhatsApp and hopefully it will eventually go through!!

We were out on the paddle boards this afternoon.  The water was glass and I found myself just drifting and watching below.  I found myself thinking about how there was this vast unknown world right below me full of all kinds of little creatures.  There’s just so much life all around us that we are barely ever aware of and so today I spent some time trying to be really present and mindful of that.  In doing so, I actually ended up feeling connected to those little worlds rather than just an observer.

Double Blam

Last week we were given an assignment.  We were to explore the piece in Lao Gar 1 where we step back into an elongated bow with 2 backfists directed behind us.  This is also known as "Double Blam" in the Young Dragons 1 class.  lol.

As I've been playing with this, it dawned on me how this sequence is an obvious example of how the external harmonies work.  

Hands-Feet...Elbows-Knees...Shoulders-Hips

And when I say "obvious" I mean obvious now that I've been directed to actually pay some close attention.  

As I did this sequence over and over, while applying my eye for detail, I noticed that I could easily recognize each of these connections.  It starts with the shoulders-hips as the motions are initiated.  It flows down to the elbows-knees and then finally ends with the hands-feet at "impact" or completion of the strike.  These connections and flow were always there...I just never acknowledged them specifically.  

To be honest, this hasn't been a part that I've ever really paid alot of close attention to.  I tend to focus on the parts that give me serious trouble.  And in an effort not to overload my mind too heavily, I often tell myself that if it feels ok, then I should trust my body is doing what it needs to do and not overthink it too much.  Overthinking can sometimes get me in trouble or lead me down the wrong path.  But in my attempt to not overthink, I've also stopped being mindful.  Whoopsies.

After diving deeper into a portion that I feel fairly good about, I can see that understanding what IS working in one area, or what IS obvious, can be very useful in troubleshooting the areas that I'm really struggling with.

IHC Numbers To Date
Pushups = 19574
Situps = 18668
Fan = 400
Long = 299
Sparring = 222
Km's = 627
AOKs = 498

Aug 3, 2024

 I’m out camping this weekend enjoying the outdoors but not a lot of electronic time!!

IHC Numbers To Date

Pushups = 19078
Situps = 18245
Fan = 399
Long = 296
Sparring = 222
Km's = 571

A Parent, Not A Friend

When I returned from my holidays in Saskatchewan, I was greeted with enthusiasm by the Young Dragons students.  One, in particular, was even more excited to see me back than the others.

“You’re back!!”

“Yes I am!”

“Where were you?”

“I was in Saskatchewan visiting my mom.”

“I’m glad you’re back. I missed you!”

Any kid noticing my absence would have made my day.  But this one in particular had greater meaning.  This particular student is one that has required a lot of my focus and efforts.  And I don’t mean that they are a bad kid!  Not at all.  They are smart and kind and quite talented.  But they crave attention and they tend to do what it takes to get that attention.  And so they are one that requires a lot of redirection and I have to be on them constantly in order to keep them from derailing both their own learning and the class as a whole.

So to learn that they not only noticed I was absent, but that they missed me and were excited to see me return…well…it was hard proof that we are developing a report and that they recognize that the reason I am on them so much is because I care.  It reiterates how I approach being a parent with my own kids.  I’m their parent…not their pal.  And that’s exactly what they need from me at this stage in life. So even when we argue…or there is a need for discipline…they recognize (even if it’s later and not in the moment) that I do it because I want them to grow and to learn and to be successful and to be happy.  I do it to maintain structure and to establish boundaries so that they can eventually establish and maintain these things themselves. And although I’ve known this to be true intellectually…and that all the experts say that kids need a parent, not a friend…you still always wonder and question if you’re doing the right thing for them. Having this student value my presence, even though I happen to also be the hardest on them, shows me that I’m doing the right thing and taking the right role in the relationship we are developing.

This also opens my eyes as a student myself.  When I am being corrected again and again. When I am being advised to do this or try that.  When an instructor always seems to be pointing something out. When I am being told again and again to blog, to do my pushups, to utilize the tools set out for me…..they do it because they have a vested interest in my success.  They want me to improve.  They want me to progress.  They care.  And I am grateful.

Ouch

Things have been a little slow the last couple weeks.  My quads have prevented me from doing too much.  Although I’ve stayed fairly safe in class (probably thanks to being forbidden to do certain things…lol), small day to day things continue to sabotage my healing.  Kneeling down to take a measurement at work.  Tripping over the door threshold at Safeway. Hopping up on to the back of the truck.  Things that I typically wouldn’t think twice about.  But unless I wanted to lay in bed and do nothing, I’m doing the best I can and hopefully I will find things back to normal shortly.

IHC Numbers

Pushups = 18478

Sit-ups = 17445

Long = 287

Fan = 376

Kms = 571

AOKs = 450

Sparring = 221

Injured But Still Learning

Since I’ve been dealing with an injury the past couple weeks, I’ve shifted my focus to a couple different things not requiring the ol’ quad muscles at 100%.

The first is the initial move in Long, with the tiger strike and thrust punch.  These two techniques have always felt really awkward “side-by-side”. I say “side-by-side” because I know they are moving at the same time, but are completely separate techniques.   I’ve worked on driving the tiger with my hips as I turn into my cat.  But my punch tends to come out at a curve as well, kind of following the path of the tiger claw, rather than its own trajectory.  So right now I’m working on the tiger strike as a circular motion and the punch as linear.  It makes sense as an application, but I still can’t quite get it right in the form.  This move sort of reminds me of the “knife/punch/open roundhouse/spinning back kick” in DMH2.  These techniques also go from circular to linear.  Different techniques following different trajectories, yet flowing together.  I just haven’t quite been able to make these things click in Long yet, but I will continue exploring.

The other thing I focussed on this week was getting centred and staying centred in my forms, even when not able to get as deep into my stances as I normally would.  This was interesting because my initial thoughts were that I simply wouldn’t be able to ground myself with my injury.  But I didn’t feel that was the case.  I have no idea what I looked like from an outside view, but I felt surprisingly good.  Again, this is something that will need more time to explore, but so far I’m finding it very interesting.