Confidence and Nerves

Prior to walking into class last night, I found myself trying to calm some nerves and settle my mind.  And I've decided to dig a little deeper into that.

There are many people that simply ooze confidence.  And I don't mean ego....but confidence.

And I'm curious about a few things.

Do those people still also feel nervous?  If not...did they once and how did they manage to get rid of nerves altogether?  Or if they do, how have they figured out how to suppress/ignore/embrace that nervousness so that it doesn't negatively impact what they are about to do?

I'm not sure I would want to be entirely devoid of nervousness.  Nerves are a clear indicator that I deeply care about what I am doing...that it's important to me.  So suppressing or ignoring or trying to rid myself of them, doesn't seem like the right approach.  My gut tells me that nerves are an important part of progress and accomplishment.

So then how do you embrace the nerves?  How do you make them an integral and welcome part of the process, rather than something uncomfortable that could potentially derail your efforts?  I know for me, if my nerves get out of hand, they even start to manifest physically.  Shakiness, rapid breathing, increased heart rate, the inability to take a deep breath, jumpiness...etc.  And then there is the mental component...the mind taking over and sabotaging what I am capable of.  

Ultimately, I think where nervousness becomes a bad thing is when my mind is focused on the negative impact of failure.  What if this doesn't go well?  What if I fail?  Will people look at me negatively?  Am I expected to do well and what will others think if I don't?  How do I confess to those around me that I wasn't successful?  Will I get another chance?  What if I just keep failing?

I think what I'm settling on is that I am okay with feeling nervous.  But I want it to be positive nerves rather than negative ones.  What if I succeed!  What opportunities will that bring?  How will this propel me forward in my goals and in my journey forward?  

All of this digging has been helpful and I feel that focussing on the positive outcomes of any event is definitely the better choice.  But even as I wrote, I felt like I was still missing something.  

I realize now that, whether my nerves shift to the negative or positive, they both have a common trait.  All of these thoughts are based on the future.  They are based on the outcome of the event that I am nervous about.  And it's all a bunch of "what ifs".  So "what if" I simply shift my thoughts to the moment, rather than the outcome?

What an amazing opportunity.  I am so grateful for this moment.

Hm, I think this might be it.

Happy Plants

Besides having to care for Emma (wisdom teeth removed on Friday), I spent my weekend reconnecting with my indoor plants.  Although I've come a long way over the last few years, my green thumb had definitely become very mediocre.  As with anything....you can't complain that you aren't making progress if you aren't actually doing anything of substance (and no...I'm not just speaking of plants).  So I finally pulled the trigger on many things that I wanted to start trying.

The majority of my plants have now been transferred to clear nursery pots with a more suitable soil mix.  This should help me dramatically with determining watering needs as well as root and general overall plant health.  I have so many different plants with varying needs that I was mostly just guessing with who needed what at any given time.  Once transferred, I just plopped them back into my pretty pots so they still look fabulous.

Many plants have also now been relocated to other areas of my house where I have upgraded some of my spaces to now include grow lights.  Until now I always had everything crowded at my windows.  And I kinda like to look out my windows.  I'm hoping this will be more beneficial for those plants that I just could never seem to find the right lighting for.

I also paid some extra care and attention in cleaning my plants.  Everyone's leaves are nice and shiny now and can hopefully "breathe" a bit better.

Up next is getting a mini humidifier for my different areas and adding some grow lights to my bedroom shelving.  I've never had any plants in there because the lighting is so poor.  But I'd love to wake up to a little bit of nature in the morning..besides Tank breathing in my face waiting for me to wake up and feed him that is.

This was definitely a relationship that needed mending.

1-on-1 AI Recap - Saturday October 18, 2025

*Remember - the AI summaries are not perfect or exact representations of the conversation.

Malinda discusses her daughter's wisdom tooth surgery recovery and shares her concerns about preparing for her personal demo and board breaks for black belt grading. Jeff advises that since Malinda has consistently demonstrated her abilities throughout the year, her demo should focus on addressing any potential doubts the grading board might have rather than trying to prove herself, emphasizing that self-awareness is more important than perfection. Regarding board breaks, Jeff stresses the importance of taking them seriously by announcing them officially rather than hoping for casual opportunities, choosing reliable techniques over flashy ones, and approaching them with confidence since they represent a crucial leadership moment in front of classmates, with Malinda scheduling her official board breaks for Monday with master instructors present.

Next Steps

Malinda: Complete board breaks on Monday with master instructors present

Malinda: Prepare personal demo addressing potential grading board concerns without giving them opportunity to ask for additional demonstrations

Malinda: Practice ridge hand technique with proper hand positioning and wrist angle before attempting board break

Malinda: Set up kick followed by hand technique combination for board breaking sequence

Oct 11

 

AI....or is it A1?

I've been experimenting a bit with ChatGPT for wordsmithing the odd email, text or other blurb.  I decided to do an experiment with my little blog today and had it re-write it a couple times with some different instructions.  I'm not going to specify which is the original, but I am curious to hear what you all think.  There is a lot of chatter surrounding AI and with its use, by students for example.  Is it ok?  Not ok?  Who should use it?  Who shouldn't?  Is this a beneficial tool in today's day and age?  Or is it "cheating"?  

I don't necessarily think it's totally black and white.  A tool is a good thing.  A crutch is not.

What are your thoughts?

Blog Version #1

Yesterday was a bad day. 

Actually...no that's not right.  My whole day wasn't bad....just a 2 hour span of complete chaos.

As I was about to get ready for the Lil Leopards class, I walked past my washing machine and noticed it flashing an error code. I had attempted to wash a small rug.  Bad idea.  It was shredded to bits and clogged up the machine, causing a small flood.  I cleaned it up, cleaned out the clogs (I hope) and eventually got it going again...at which point I dumped all the dirty cleaned up water into the tub.  Which was also suddenly clogged and wouldn't drain.  At about that same time, Tank came into the bathroom whining.  He's not a whiner and so I knew something was wrong.  Upon investigation, I found that he had knocked over the big (and full) garbage can and had helped himself to a variety of old and expired garbage.  At that point, I gave up and sat outside for a little pity party while I waited for Dan to get home.  While I waited, and kept an eye on Tank...who also suddenly started limping.  And that was it for me.  I decided then and there that I wasn't going anywhere.

However, as Dan joined the chaos...and because he had not yet succumbed to the frustration...he forced me to get into my uniform and get to class.  Even though my mind was so full I couldn't recognize it, he knew that I needed to go to clear my mind and come back fresh and ready to tackle whatever needed tackling.

And I'm so glad I did.

Blog Version #2

Yesterday wasn’t entirely a bad day—though for about two hours, it certainly felt like chaos had taken over.

Just as I was about to get ready for the Lil Leopards class, I noticed my washing machine flashing an error code. The culprit? A small rug I had attempted to wash. It had shredded into pieces, clogging the machine and creating a minor flood. After mopping up the mess and clearing out what I hoped were all the blockages, I managed to get it running again—only to dump the dirty water into the tub, which promptly decided it wouldn’t drain.

At that very moment, Tank padded into the bathroom whining. He’s not one to complain, so I knew something was wrong. Sure enough, he had knocked over the large (and full) garbage can and helped himself to a buffet of expired scraps. That was the breaking point. I stepped outside for a much-needed pity party while keeping a weary eye on Tank—who, just to add to the drama, began limping. That was it. I decided I wasn’t going anywhere.

But when Dan came home and stepped into the madness—still calm, still clear-headed—he refused to let me give in to it. He handed me my uniform and insisted I get to class. I resisted, but he knew what I needed before I did: a reset, a chance to breathe, move, and come back with a fresh mind.

And he was right. I’m so glad I went.

Blog Version #3

Yesterday wasn’t a terrible day… though for about two hours, my life turned into a sitcom that no one asked to watch.

Just as I was about to get ready for the Lil Leopards class, I walked past the washing machine and saw it flashing an error code—never a good sign. Turns out, my bright idea of washing a small rug was not so bright. It shredded itself into oblivion, clogged the machine, and created a minor indoor water feature. After some creative mopping and a battle with the filter, I got it running again. Victory was short-lived, though, because I dumped the dirty water into the bathtub… which immediately decided to quit draining, too.

Enter Tank. Normally stoic, he came into the bathroom whining. Red flag. Sure enough, he had tipped over the big, full garbage can and treated himself to a buffet of expired “goodies”. And that was my breaking point. I staged a solo pity party outside while supervising Tank, who, because the universe has a sense of humor, then started limping. At that moment, I officially tapped out. I wasn’t going anywhere.

Cue Dan’s entrance. He walked into the chaos like a man untouched by frustration, handed me my uniform, and all but shoved me out the door to class. I resisted, of course—because sulking felt safer—but he was right. My brain desperately needed a reboot.

And thank goodness I listened, because after class I came back calmer, clearer, and way more ready to face clogged drains, guilty dogs, and whatever else the universe throws at me.

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